


A Kiss of Shadows and Wildfire

by SassyDanii



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: F/M, Fantasy, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-15
Updated: 2017-11-22
Packaged: 2018-11-14 11:05:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 67,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11206788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SassyDanii/pseuds/SassyDanii
Summary: Five years after the War, Viviana has found solitude in Velaris among her friends. Yet tension begins as she soon begins to lose that control over the unusual power that brews within her. Darkness from all corners begins to corrupt her, causing her to grow hungrier and angrier as she continues to refuse to train. Yet, on top of this, she must deal with this odd tug to a particular Autumn Court male, Lucien. Her feelings grow for him but she must also deal with her Illyrian lover, Nathaniel.With a looming threat hanging on her shoulders and her heart torn in two, she must make quick work to gain her untamed power before it ultimately destroys her and her home.





	1. Chapter 1

The curtains from the open archways swayed gently on a phantom breeze. The room within was warm beside the chilly night air.  
Magic was a beautiful thing.  
Releasing a sigh, I watched it cloud slightly before me. A nightmare tore through my sleep, my body trembled a little at the images I had witnessed. Screams of the damned and bodies black from being cooked over fire pits. But what shook me the most was seeing my own face, contorted with fear, on one of the turning bodies.  
I shuddered again, hugging myself tightly. The floor length night dress I wore did little to nothing to protect me from the salty wind that slithered up to the balcony. The gulls flying up high reminded me the cries in the dream, I shoved that thought out hard and concentrated on the horizon. The sky that met the sea was growing lighter, the sun would slowly rise above my home.  
Velaris.  
The estate was perched on a sloping hill, at the edges of where the steep of the mountain began. From here, I could see the City of Starlight sprawled below, sleeping peacefully and content.  
It was almost five years since the war had ended. Wounds were still closing, healing, especially for the High Lady and Lord, and the Inner Circle. Yet, the friendship between them kept them going, the support and love they had for each other.  
It's what I admired greatly about them, that unending strength between them.  
The mere thought of it dragged my eyes up, passing the Sidra and to the other side where the House of Wind sat proudly within the mountain. I was always invited up there, for dinner with the Inner Circle, which Rhys liked to add.  
But the last time I went up there for dinner was over a year ago, and it ended with my magic flaring and almost injuring Azriel badly. I had been feeling stressed that day, and Rhys’ urges for me to practice my abilities only added to it. Yet I only attacked Azriel, the quiet shadowsinger who was the only one who I could relate to, power wise.  
I was a shadowsinger. But my power was much darker, sinister. And I didn't wish to tap into that resource, it seemed to have a mind of its own and it unnerved me, its thoughts and feelings wholly to itself.  
Since then, I wasn't hassled. Though Azriel still came by now and then, seeing how I was holding up. I knew it was out of his comfort, to sense that living power that simmered beneath the lid I kept on top of it. ‘ _Keeping tabs_ ,’ I thought lightly. Every now and then I had my spurts, the lid shuddering against the chains I kept around it. I always caught a glimpse of serrated teeth or narrowed eyes burning with hatred.  
Something warm dripped down my balled up hands and I took a look. My nails had dug into my palms, no not just nails, but talons. I recoiled a little, this was the second time something like this happened.  
Turning, I stalked back inside and clutched my hands to my chest. My feet were quiet on the dark hardwood floor, passing the occupied canopy bed. I let my gaze fall on the bulk build of my sleeping lover, his membranous wings half tucked behind him. The bed was big enough for two sets of wings to be comfortable for both of us.  
I smiled slightly as I headed into the adjoining bathroom. The ivory marble beneath my bare feet was cool, but with a single thought, the floor heated a little. Even the lanterns lit up once I stepped inside. Rhys had rigged the house with some spell, as I refused to have servants since I wasn’t the only one living in the place.  
I headed to the basin, turning the gold tap and cleaned my palms, hissing slightly at the pain. I dried my hands and watch the skin mend together before I looked up.  
I cringed.  
My skin, which usually was a lovely bronze/olive tone was a sickly white and cold. I had dark circles and my eyes were a dull grey much like the colour of my wings and hair. I frowned, I knew I was growing sick but this was a huge change. I picked up the pearl comb and ran it through my hair, the waves delicate and soft around my waist.  
I stretched out my wings, groaning softly at the released tension. My wings were a shimmering silver, and instead of membrane it was entirely feathered and each feather had a black tip. Occasionally, those feathers would produce a silver substance if I needed it.  
I learned that the dust, once turned into a liquid, could be used as a salve for wounds. Feyre had been fascinated and wanted to try, and I allowed her to gather some for whatever use she needed.  
I reached out to stroke the silk feathers, I wasn't affected if I touched my own wings but if someone else did, yes.  
The wings were the only thing showing my true heritage. The rest, lithe body with generous curves, chest, ass and legs, all from my mother. My beauty was striking, as many had stated to me, some even said I could ‘outshine’ the high fae beauty.  
I only snorted at it. But sometimes I’d look closely at my own reflection and spot the reasons. Slender face occupied by a uptilted nose and full rosy lips, my eyes were framed with thick lashes slightly arched eyebrows. And of course, the delicately pointed ears that, if I remembered correctly, my mother had.  
I leant down and splashed my face with the cold water and grabbed a towel to wipe away the excess water. Seeing the male that occupied my bed made me jump and turned to face him. He leant against the threshold, arms crossed over his tattooed chest.  
He wore a sleepy smirk, thick dark hair mussed, “Bit of an early start, hm, Silvy?” His voice was rough and heavy. “No,” I replied, shaking my head.  
“No?” I saw his body shift and grow tense as he straightened. I eyed the bare chest and stomach, corded with muscles built over his long immortal life in the Illyrian camps, brown skin laced with pale scars. I dragged my eyes back up to his, not wanting to see what lay below the band of his trousers. “I had a nightmare,” I said softly, leaning against the marble top.  
“Another one?” I heard the upset tone as he strode around the large raised up bathtub and stood before me. I tilted my head back to peer into that granite-made face, once-straight nose now crooked, lips thinned to a line and concern wavered in those pretty sea-green eyes.  
“Did you take the tonic the healer made for you?” He asked calloused fingertips stroked my chin, my neck. The touch sent my blood warming, “I did. Just before we went to sleep.” I wrapped my arms around his waist, tugging him closer.  
“Hmm,” he kept staring at me, then moved to the detail navy glass bottle sitting behind the basin. “We might need to go back then, get a stronger one.” His hands found my hips, his thumbs making slow circles.  
I shook my head, “It was only tonight, Nate.” I countered. “And? What if it gets worse?” He tilted his head to the side a little, watching me with such care and love my shoulders slumped. “It makes me drowsy, tired all the time. I hate feeling slow, I gotta move constantly.” I whined, my brows knitting.  
“I know, Silvy. But you can't be waking up every night screaming for your parents.” I looked away. So he did know that these past few weeks I was having trouble sleeping. I glowered at him, “So, you do know about my nightmares.”  
Guilt washed over his features, his mouth opening and closing as if to say something. I moved out of his arms, "And you never seemed to... I don't know, help?" I paused at the door and looked back at him. I hated the fact he was shirtless and his pants so low on those hips...  
Again, he was silent. I shook my head in disbelief, "And you have the nerve to tell me to go get a tonic when you clearly could help." I said with a bite in my tone.  
His lips thinned, "I'm sorry." He said quietly, "I figured you wanted to fight this on your own." Excuses, excuses, excuses. I rolled my eyes, "Yeah. Sure. Having a panic attack is totally me fighting on my own." I turned on my heel and stalked back into the dark room, moonlight streaking through the archways.  
"Silvy, I-" I held up a hand to cut him off, "No. I don't need to hear it." I crawled onto the massive bed, taking his spot since it was warm. I tucked my wings tightly, shivering a little.  
Nate went to the other side and slipped in, facing me. His face was shadowed but I saw the worry lace his features. "Tell me, then." His voice was a whispering need. I gave a long sigh and moved close to him, his arms welcomed me to his bare chest.  
"You can start by holding me often during the night." I huffed. I rest my head on his muscled bicep, his hand splayed on the small of my back. "So demanding." He mused, getting a hard jab in the stomach from me. "I mean it." I felt the weight of sleep on my body, exhaustion taking over.  
"Sleep, Silvy." He murmured in my hair, and I did. But the fear from my nightmares still lingered, the only thing keeping the darkness at bay was Nate's scent and arms.

 

* * *

 

The morning that day was bright and warm despite being mid-autumn. I lounged in a cream and gold chaise in the large glass room that overlooked the garden, a book in my hands.  
Today, I had chosen a lilac gown, the neckline was high and just exposed the hollow of my throat. It was thick and had a darker shade of swirls as the pattern. My ashen hair was swept up in a crown brain, living flowers gently placed along it. A thin crystal belt with an Illyrian dagger strapped to it. Azriel had given the Delicately blade as a gift early last year, and since then I barely parted ways with it.  
Something moved in the corner of my eye and I looked over. The vase with palm leaves swayed gently but no window or door was open to allow a breeze to flow through. I narrowed my eyes and swung my legs over the edge, my feet sliding into the silver slippers.  
I set my book on the fur coverlet and moved to the now stilled leaf. I scented that cool grace and astute awareness in the small area and scowled. It moved away or well more like floated invisibly to the open doors.  
I placed my hand on the onyx hilt of the dagger and carefully tracked it. I headed down the carpeted hallway, the walls a soft pastel yellow and white gilded ceiling. The quiet awareness leads me through small living rooms and to the grand foyer of the estate. The glass dome above was creating a colourful spectrum on the marble steps. And I could see the dark shadow where the awareness hovered.  
I hissed and chased it up the sweeping staircase, clutching my gown and the silver balustrade. "Get back here!" I growled, my feet thumping against the rich red carpet. I heard that ghostly laugh and suddenly my feet were swept beneath me.  
I threw my hands forward and my wrists barked in pain as I rolled to my back. The awareness had changed to a shadowy form and I was pinned beneath it. Strong yet bone-chilling hands held me firm to the floor.  
I struggled, kicking my legs but it seemed to just make the shadowed form laugh in mockery. My foot suddenly got stuck in the body of the shadow, the inky blackness creeping up my exposed calf.  
Panic set in and I reached for my dagger which was almost out of its sheath, yet my body had been paralysed. The spider webbing ink on my leg continued up. "Stop," I said through my teeth, trying to will my body to move.  
"Use your magic." The shadow above me hissed. "No." I bit back, my chest rising and falling quickly.  
"Use. Your. Magic." It pressed, nothing but anger laced its deep tone.  
"No!" I refused to use my magic, ignoring the alluring call of my power deep within me. I tried and failed to move, the shadow held me firm.  
I just glared at the ever-shifting face, "Let me go." I said steadily, quietly. "Only if you summon your power." The voice was more clear, masculine. There was nothing but an unearthly feeling to the sound as if it echoed far away yet it was right above me.  
I held his eyes, jade green with thick black eyelashes became visible. Followed by the moonlight kissed skin, almost transparent. Sharp cheekbones and straight nose appeared next, followed by pressed lips and brows furrowing with agitation. His dark hair seemed to ripple at the tilt of his head.  
The shadows seemed to fold over like pages of a book to reveal a tight-fitting onyx coloured jacket with navy blue trimmings along the high collar and cuffs of the fold back sleeves. A flash of silver revealed the perfect polished belt that held his leather trousers, hugging those sculpted legs.  
"Magic. _Now_." He ordered. "No," I repeated, holding his intense gaze. He hissed, exposing the needle-like teeth. Many would run from the sight and tremble, knowing that the teeth could break bones.  
Anger rolled through me, breaking away those invisible bonds that he had placed on me. "Magic, little bird. Do not let your emotions take the leash." He instructed. He was correct, but I wouldn't admit that aloud.  
Never to him.  
"Get off me, please," I begged, my skin growing colder and colder as the endless power in me rumbled to life. The lid shuddering and the chains clinking. It was getting colder and darker, my very mind being lulled into the claws of the frightening void.  
"Control it, little bird, do not let the fear override your senses." But his voice was a mere echo, too far to even consider his order. My breathing became harsh gasps, the claws of the beast sinking further into my thoughts, whispering sultry things to reach out and simply unlock the chains.  
"Please," I whined softly, my voice barely even a sound as I stood before that chest.  
"Come closer," it seemed to croon, "Closer and open it. Let me show you a new world." I felt the icy tendrils make my numb legs move, walking up the dais. The lid of the chest shook violently as if the creature within became restless.  
Standing before the ancient chest, I reached out with a confident hand. My fingers brushed-  
A hard wall of black glittering stone slammed into me, shoving me back from the dais. When I landed, my eyes snapped open to see wide, concerned jade eyes peering down at me. "Little bird!" The male shook me, trying to pull me from my foggy thoughts. I saw the raised hand and gripped his wrist tightly, causing a yelp to escape from him.  
"Do not," I snarled, "Hit me." He stared me down and yanked his hand back, standing upright and holding a hand out to me. I dismissed it and stood myself, feeling light-headed and tipsy as if the magic that pulsated in me was alcohol. He lead me to a couch that was purely for decoration and made me sit, "Bat will kill me if she finds I'm sitting on this." I batted his hands away from me.  
"Your health is more important than some old chair." He scowled and knelt beside me, looking at me. I glared at him, "What the hell was that for?" I crossed my arms, my fingers brushing along the hilt of the dagger.  
"Trying to get you to gain control." He replied cooly.  
"I do not need it." I looked away from him, staring out the window beside me.  
"Yeah? Explain to me why you were so willing to open it up." He took my chin and forced me to look at him.  
I slapped his hand away and stood, "Shut up. You do that again, Fadil, I will make sure Nate deals with you." I headed back the way I came from.  
"Yes, you do that. But it won't stop that power inside you growing restless day by day. Want that blow up to happen again? The one that almost _killed_ Az?" I stopped at his words and turned slowly to face Fadil, his eyes blazing with fury.  
"I was being pressured-"  
"You weren't! I was there! No one was pressuring you." He snapped back, walking right for me. I held my ground as he towered over me, "You had no control. You let yourself believe that so you could feel better for yourself! You allowed that thing inside you grab that leash and provoke you." His hands were balls at his side, shaking ever so slightly. I felt the weight of his magic press around me, "You will hurt people, go as so far as to killing them if you don't train!"  
"Stop," I said softly, backing up. Yet he stepped again to me, "Do not hide, little bird. You need to face who you are." I shook my head, "Please, just stop. I-I need to go-"  
"Go? Where? To hide in the library like some weak, minded-"  
"Fadil, watch what you say." A second voice, much like the same as Fadil's floated behind me. I turned to see the look alike twin of Fadil, "Fadeyushka." His brother growled, "She needs to know-"  
"No," he cut him off, his own eyes blazing with the same heat, "Not like this. You do not force someone who has no handle on their power, you take it slow. Step by step, must I remind you all the time?" He scolded his brother.  
Fadil clenched his jaw but reluctantly backed down. He looked at me and bowed his head, "I'm sorry." He said tenderly.  
I shook my head and turned to the twin, "Control your brother, Fade." I said, my voice came shakily instead of even.  
"Vi-" He started but I walked past him, ignoring his frowning face. I heard him last rail his brother. ' _Good_ ,' I thought gloomily, slipping down to the large dining room.  
A tall male sat at the head of the dining table. His sea foam hair was pulled back tightly in a braid, off-setting his deep brown skin. His sole attention was the book he held, his other hand raising the fork to his mouth.  
It paused and those deep azure eyes slid to me. His smile was illustrious, able to sweep anyone off their feet. "Good morning, Viviana." His voice was like the rumbling of thunder over the water, yet gentle like the lapping of waves.  
“Morning, Saleem.” I gave him my best smile, taking a spot beside him as a plate of hot eggs and toast appeared before me. “How are you feeling?” He asked as I dug into my plate of food. My eyes darted around, expecting Nate to walk in soon.  
“I’ve been fine,” I reply lowly, taking a sip of my steaming tea. “You sound a little shaken up.” I could see he had set the book down, leaning back in his chair to give me his full attention. Lowering my cup gently I met his eyes, seeing the gentleness in them. “Fadil was trying to make me, um, control my power. But not in a good way.” I played with the silver buttons on my gown, tracing the smooth surface.  
“Not in a good way how?” He monitored each movement, his eyes seeking out the truth. “I was reading in the sun room and he took me on wild goose chase up the second level before pinning and paralysing me.” I couldn't meet his eyes, the fear that would be clear to him if he gazed into my eyes.  
The feeling of being trapped, the uselessness I felt being held down… Saleem reached over and placed a hand over mine and then squeezed lightly. “I’ll talk to him if you’d like?”  
I shook my head, “No. His brother is cursing him as we speak.” A smile tugged at the corner of his lips, “Ah, of course. He might listen to him better.” I finally met his gaze, there was no prejudice that masked that open and altruistic face.  
I smiled more, this time for real, “You never seem to scowl or put me down when it comes to… my lack of control.” I mused as I went back to eating.  
“Well, putting someone down is not my nature. I like to take the calm, gentler approach. But, I must be honest with you.” Solicitude stirred his voice, I halted, “I do worry for you. And I just want the best for you.”  
I knew where he was going and sighed heavily, “I know Saleem. But I just- I don't want to go there. To see it.” To see those eyes and smirking mouth, I thought, shuddering at the image that flashed across my mind. “But Viviana,” he continued, delicately urging me, “continuing to disregard that… unique power in you, the older you get, it will be near to impossible to stop that power. Before it burns you out.”  
I had lost my appetite and pushed my plate away from myself. Exactly what Rhys had said to me, I stared at the far wall, my focus taking in the details of the floral wallpaper. Young and inexperienced, Rhys had taunted me. I was almost a baby in the eyes of Fae, almost a hundred and eighty years old.  
“I’ll think about it,” I said after a few beats of silence. Saleem seemed to take the answer with a slight dip of his chin, “Better than refusing outright.” He flashed me a grin and I rolled my eyes. “Don't make me say it.” I jabbed my fork in his direction.  
I heard the rustling of wings and shot to my feet just as Nate strolled through the doors, wearing a chestnut brown tunic and black pants. I beamed, forgetting about the incident last night at the sight of him, and skipped over to him, wrapping my arms around his waist. His arms wrapped around my shoulders and held me against him, his smile lopsided, “Morning Silvy.” He murmured and leant down to capture my lips with his, the kiss sent electric shocks through me. It pushed all my worries away and nothing else mattered, only me and him.  
My hands moved up the hard planes of his broad chest, gripping his shoulders as I went on my toes. The kiss was deep, thorough with his tongue scraping each alcove of my mouth. I moaned softly, his fingers sliding down my back to cup my rear.  
A clear cough came from Saleem and I giggled, breaking away from Nate, “I’d like to keep my food down, please.” He was shaking his head but smiling, his focus back on the book. I stuck my tongue out before I returned to looking at Nate.  
“Where did you go?” I ask as he turned me away and headed to the foyer. He had left as soon as I woke this morning before I could whine and beg him to stay.  
“Had to do something in the city.” He cupped my cheek and kissed me again, “Let's go out for breakfast.” He said pulling away. “But I already ate.” I raised a brow.  
“Eat again.” He smirked, handing me my gloves. “I don't want to become fat.” I tugged on my gloves, my wings tucked in tight behind me. “You won't. Please?” He gave me that look, an innocent one where he’d bat his eyes at me.  
I slumped my shoulders, giving up, “Fine,” I punched him in the shoulder gently, “Only cause you’re cute.” I held his hand as he took me outside.  
“Always going to win, Silvy.” He teased.  
“Sure. One day I’ll get you back.” I bumped my hip against him, grinning wide. He grinned back with equal joy. We walked in silence, hand in hand and savouring the clear morning.  
I wasn't paying much attention to where he was taking me, distracted by the figure above flying. I squinted and saw the blue flashes of Siphons and realised at a start he was coming closer.  
Azriel landed in front of us, his wings spread wide before the snapped back behind him. Shadows graced his shoulders and hands, hazel eyes looking at me from head to toe then back to Nate. “Nathaniel.” He said in an away of greeting. Nate’s hand tightened, his whole posture growing taut like a bowstring, “Azriel.”  
The shadowsinger held out a scarred hand to Nate, and thankfully he took it and shook it. The two males stared each other down, pure dominance radiating between them. I scowled, “Can you two please stop?” I stepped between them, facing Nate first, “Do not ruin a nice day.” His eyes slowly drifted down to mine and nodded, the tension in his shoulders lessened.  
I looked away and at Azriel who gave me a small smile, “I came to see how you were.” He said, making my cheeks heat a little. “Oh,” I rubbed my arm, “I'm fine. A little tired.” I gave a little shrug.  
“Just fine?” I could see the scepticism in his shadowed face, “Well. I am fine now, being outside has allowed me to relax.”  
“What happened?” Azriel’s attention now focused on me, his shadows seemed to curl to me. I looked at Nate, he let out a sigh, “I’ll be in here.” He headed to the cafe, his hands were balled up at his sides.  
Azriel offered his arm and I took it, letting him take me to a bridge. I leant on the smooth stone, facing the river and watching the narrow boats slowly drift beneath us.  
The shadowsinger stayed silent beside me, his presence comforted me. I wasn't sure whether it was his tenderness or the connection we had.  
When I didn't speak, Azriel said softly beside me, "I'm guessing your power took an appearance?" I nodded, chewing on the inside of my cheek. "What did it feel like this time?"  
I didn't want to think about it too much, shifting on my feet. His scarred hand covered my own, his blue Siphon glinting in the sunlight. I stared at it, seeing my reflection. "It was cold. Very cold. I could barely sleep properly last night. Even after waking up from another nightmare." I turned my hand and laced my fingers in his.  
"Another?" Worry edged its way into his voice and I tightened my grip. "Another," I replied.  
Azriel was quiet for some time, his hand was warm in mine. I looked up to his handsome face, seeing the thoughtful look in his eyes. He gave a short sigh, "Is there no other way to convince you?"  
I shook my head, "It was just a little slip." I shrugged, "Fadil pushed me. He held me down and-"  
"He did what?" Azriel snapped his attention to me again, that softness now replaced with steely hardness. He gripped my shoulders, but not enough to hurt me. My back pressed against the stone, "Tell me." He said, blue flame sparking behind his eyes.  
"It wasn't bad. He..." I trailed off, remembering the frigid fingers holding me to the floor. The numbing feeling that spread through my body as the inability to flee slammed into my core.  
I didn't even notice that Azriel had turned to shadows and was gone, I looked around frantically and pressed my palms into my eyes. Azriel cared for me deeply, he had said to me once he would do anything to keep me safe, to keep my happy and content with my life.  
He had this uncanny ability, somehow he had sensed what had happened in my early life and what I had to do to stay alive. I prayed that he would go easy on my friend and not hurt him too badly.  
"Boys..." I mumbled as I trudged back to the cafe Nate had escaped into. I spotted him instantly, tucked into a booth with a very cheery waitress. I paused, watching the scene unfold before me.  
The woman was pretty, her skin pale like snow and short cropped hair. Delicately pointed ears decorated with frost jewels ending with a tear drop. The white blouse she wore had been pulled down to reveal a bit too much cleavage to my liking. Not even the other waitress' had it that low.  
My eyes followed where her hand laid, atop Nate's. He seemed to be... Okay with the girls flirting. Okay that her fingers trailed up his arm, okay that she leant close to-  
I didn't want to see anymore.  
I stumbled back and the last thing I heard was my name being called as I dashed out the cafe. I picked up my skirts and let my feet carry me over the cobblestones, stopping only when I reached The Rainbow. I panted and leant against a bright red wall of a shop, clutching my stomach a little as I regained my stamina.  
Fae of all sorts wandered the place, some giving me worried looks but I brushed it off as I weaved through. I needed to find that little shop, a mixture of reds, golds and oranges, its front display with paintings big and small and alongside with wooden carvings.  
I spotted it. A customer leaving and hauling a large piece with her, a young woman standing on the stone steps and waving goodbye. Coming closer I paused at the last step, looking up, “Viviana.” The girl said, her pale amber eyes not entirely focused on me, “Come in.” She turned, her dark brown gown rustling with the movement as she headed back inside the small shop.  
“Today is your day off, why are you here?” Her voice was smooth, gentle like a flowing stream. I watched as she took her spot back on the stool, her honey skin splattered with pain. “Felt like dropping in,” I said as I took a spot beside her, seeing what she was painting. On the canvas were distorted shapes of trees and animals.  
“Right.” She pushed back a strand of dark brown hair, the light coming from the window brought out the darker shades of red in her hair as well as the freckles that covered her arms and entirety of her placid face.  
“Can’t I come and see you?” I whined, watching her as she began to paint.  
“Okay, okay,” she smiled softly, “I believe you.”  
“Thank you, Cecilia.” I handed the water to her.  
“So, how’s it been today?” I asked, hoping to get her suspicion to subside. I never, well rarely, came to the shop on my off days, only if she needed extra help.  
“Quiet, the only customers are the ones who had place a piece aside to pick up later. Though, we do need more of your carvings. Especially the serpent ones, it's become quite a popular piece.” Cecilia explained, not once stopping the brush strokes.  
“When and how many are needed?” I asked.  
“About… fifteen. Hopefully by the end of the week. Is that okay?” Clouded eyes glanced sidelong at me. “That's okay. I’ll get them in before Danika’s party.”  
“Oh!” She set the brush down, “I’ve drawn our names on a canvas, all you gotta do is paint the letters.” She smiled broadly.  
“Can I see?” She nodded and hopped off the stool and went to the back of the shop where a private studio was created for her and me.  
On the easel in the middle of the room was a large canvas, Danika’s name in the middle written with pretty flowing lines that connected to the rest of the names positioned around.  
“Well, while I’m here, I’ll fill my name in.”  
Cecilia nodded, “That sounds like a good idea.” A bell rang at the front, “I’ll leave you to it.”  
Cecilia shuffled out and I set up the paints I wished to use. A mixture of silver and pastel colours, to match my wings and eyes. As I started to move the brush along the surface, I felt something… Stirred within me. It wasn't my power, it was asleep soundly inside its chest.  
But more… deeper. Like a longing ache that needed to be fulfilled. I paused my painting, half way done with my name. I looked over where the door leads out to the shop and frowned. I reached for that unfamiliar feeling but it seemed hesitant to my touch.  
I set my brush down and got to my feet. The musky smell of cinnamon reached my nose and it made my skin prick with eagerness. My feet moved and I peeked through the doorway, the door had just closed and I could spot a head of gleaming red hair walking away.  
I bolted for the door and threw it open as I stopped at the bottom step, trying to find whoever had left the shop. I spotted the stranger peering into a shop not too far, I could tell he was a High Fae by the elegant and fitted tunic he wore. It was a dark navy blue with silver whorls along the shoulders. Buttons ran down the front, meeting a belt with a dagger I recognised as Illyrian made.  
I could tell he was handsome like all High Fae were. Sharp features worked beautifully for him, and as if he sensed my stare he turned to look at me. The air rushed out of me and I stumbled like something had slammed into my chest and threw open some doors I had not known were closed.  
I felt a warm hand grip me and I yelped, then heard Cecilia’s growl of annoyance as she dropped a scented bowl. I turned to look at her then at the puff of ash at our feet. Cinnamon wafted from the broken bowl.  
“ _Viviana_!” She whined, her brows furrowing as she glared at me, “I-I’m sorry. I… Let me clean this up.” I hesitated and looked back over my shoulder to see where that stranger was. But he had disappeared, that lingering feeling left hanging in the air.  
I frowned deeply but a pan and a brush were shoved in my hands, “Clean.” She demanded and headed back in the shop. I sighed through my nose and knelt and swept the broken clay pot and the cinnamon ash. ‘ _Maybe I’m losing my mind_ ,’ I thought, ‘ _This is what I had smelt. And that man… I’ve seen him before_.’  
“Lucien. He was once the Spring Court’s emissary.” Cecilia said at the threshold as if she knew what I was thinking.  
“I know that,” I grumbled and headed inside.  
“Yeah, sure. You looked like you were debating whether you did or didn't.” I scowled and dumped the contents in a bin.  
“Was he in the shop?” I asked.  
“He was.” Cecilia hovered behind me, examining me. It always made me feel uneasy when she watched me like that, knowing that she was blind and managed to know who and what you were instantly before even speaking.  
“What for?” I retreated back into the private studio and sat on the stool before the canvas.  
“He wanted to make some inquiries, that's all.” I heard her moving things behind me as I picked up my brush and continued to finish my name.  
“Oh okay,” I said distantly, trying to shake off the feeling of… whatever it was. ‘Lucien…’ I said his name, “Lucien.” I repeated out loud softly.  
I finished my name with swirls of fire.

 

* * *

 

I spent the rest of the day with Cecilia, I had managed to make two wooden sculptures and oiled them both. Throughout the morning and the afternoon, I had spotted her occasionally glancing at me an unreadable look on her face.  
I didn't ask what she was looking at, I figured she was just listening to what I was doing. I left before closing, the sun a blinding golden orb above the rooftops. I walked by the cafe I had run out of earlier today and stopped.  
I could see right inside and imagine Nate sitting at that booth. But this time the girl wasn't standing beside him but in his lap. I could hear the gasps and groans and I took a step back, my heart thundering hard. I had not once thought about him today, too caught up with Cecilia and her gossiping.  
I turned and bumped face first into a hard chest. Strong hands gripped my shoulders to steady me and I was instantly smothered in the scent of cinnamon and fire. I saw the dark blue tunic and silver swirls and the handsome face of the High Fae, Lucien. His russet eye was trained on me, and the other… I couldn't help but gasp. I had never seen the male up so close, the golden eye was designed intricately and would click and whirr when moved.  
I had this sudden urge to reach up and run my fingers along that brutal scar of his or to touch those red strands. My cheeks heated at the thoughts and I backed out of his arms. He hooked his thumbs over the belt at his waist and chuckled.  
“You’re not the first person to stare at the eye,” His voice was music to my ears, sending my skin to prick and warm. I looked up at him, his smile was radiant and could easily make a female bed him.  
“I-I… Sorry. It's just… um…” I stuttered over my words. The gods damned urge to tackle him and- I inhaled and closed my eyes. “Okay.” I said and opened them, he was giving me a strange look, “Sorry. It’s been a crazy day.” I laughed lightly and rubbed the back of my neck.  
“That's fine. I think we have those days.” He replied lightly, still that _smile_ -  
“Yeah.” My cheeks were still warm, my emotions a rolling cascade of sparks. Being near him was almost like taking a breath for the first time.  
"So," He started, catching my attention instantly, "You are... Viviana? Right?"  
"Y-Yes. That's me." I picked at imaginary lint on my gown. He held out his hand to me, I took it. All my senses focused on the strong grip, the rough callouses that scraped the soft pads of my hand. I stared at our joined hands, thoughts filled my very being. Just the idea of his hand between-  
'Viviana! What in Mother's name are you thinking?' I scolded myself and dropped his hand hastily. "Y-You were saying?"  
He laughed and I had to hold back a whine of how rich it sounded, "I was saying, dear Viviana," he mused, "That you are an exceptional carver. I've never seen someone... add such realistic details. It's so life like." I saw he held a sculpture of a fox. He held it up to the sky to admire it.  
I wasn't sure how red I could get, "O-Oh I'm glad you liked it." I bit my bottom lip, nerves rattling my bones.  
"Like? I love it." He flashed me a toothy grin, his mismatched eyes wholly focused on me. Even when prettier girls walked by us and watched Lucien keenly.  
"Then I'm glad you love it." I smiled broadly, feeling a sense of pride at his comments on my work.  
He tucked the figurine into the box he had held, then said, "Would you like me to walk you home?"  
I started, taken aback at his request. I was going to deny his offer when a distant voice in my head said no, "Okay, that would be nice." He offered his arm and I gingerly took it, feeling that hard bicep go taut at the movement as we began to walk along the Sidra River.  
I didn't understand why I felt so at ease with this male, he made me nervous yet excited at the same time. Gulls overhead called to one another, flying together in small flocks, it was the only thing keeping my focus on instead on the male I linked arms with.  
“How long have you been in Velaris?” He asked.  
“Erm, just a little over five years now.” I replied, “I came just after the War.”  
“Tough time.” I could hear the strain in his voice, I wondered if he had lost anyone he cared for?  
“You don't need to answer but, where did you live before coming here?” We had stopped on a bridge, I could just see my home from this point.  
' _Odd question_ ,' I thought, “I lived in the Dawn Court for a few years,” My voice grew shaky, “And then moved to the Day Court to, I guess, study more. I wasn't educated much as a child so I struggled with reading and writing. High Lord Helion-” The mention of the High Lord’s name made Lucien lock up completely.  
The muscle where my hand laid had gone hard as if the very name made Lucien wanting to punch something. Or someone. I pulled my arm away from him and bit my bottom lip, “Um… Did… Did I say something wrong?” I looked at him, his face had gone grim and the fire behind his russet eye blazed.  
He looked away from me, his throat bobbed, “You didn't.” He said softly, “I just- No, it's okay. Anyways.”  
“Well, okay.” I frowned. I looked down at his clenched hand, I didn't hesitate as I took his hand. He willingly opened his fist, my fingers slipping in the spaces between his fingers. "Come on, let's keep walking." I tugged him gently and silence followed us back to my house.  
By the time we reached the silver gates I was panting softly, my legs aching. "Someone's a little unfit." Lucien snickered beside me, I gave him a playful shove.  
"Shut up." I seethed, but I couldn't help but grin at him. I leant against the stone wall and closed my eyes, savouring the cool wind that kissed my face. When I opened my eyes, Lucien was staring at me intently. Casually his eyes drifted up my body and held my gaze, and that same feeling of having air being sucked out of me made every part of me screaming from the look he gave me.  
I stood a little straighter, and he came a step closer. The faelights in the lamps shadowed his face, making him seem much more ethereal and mysterious. My gown suddenly became tighter around me, sweat slicking my body instantly as I felt the weight of magic press around me. But it didn't make me run, I welcomed that tepid sense.  
Lucien opened his mouth to speak but a hard, alpha-tone cut through the heat, "Step. Away." Nate had landed next to us, wings tucked tight. His entire body was taut like a bowstring, I could tell he was about to snap.  
Lucien obliged but it wasn't enough for Nate it seemed since he came right to my side and pulled me close to his body. He reeked of alcohol and... bodies. But I pushed aside the smell and focused on the two males that stared each other down.  
'Another dominance test crap,' I scowled and pushed away from Nate. "Stop that." I snarled softly at my lover, he didn't budge. "Nate. Back. Down." I stood in front of him, hands on my hips and trying to make myself bigger by flaring my wings slightly. When he still didn't move I gave him a hard shove and he stumbled back and focused his steely gaze on me.  
“Where have you been?” He asked me apathetically.  
I simply narrowed my eyes, “I was out. Spent time with Cecilia.” I was well aware of Lucien standing behind me, watching and listening to us.  
“And? You couldn’t tell-”  
“Hold up,” I stopped him with a hand raised, “I don't remember having to tell _you_ exactly where I am. Especially if I’m simply visiting a friend.” I snarled and bared my teeth at him.  
He glowered, "Oh yes you fucking do! I was looking for you everywhere! I was-"  
Again, I cut him short with a growl, "And you didn't think to check the art shop? Huh?! You know I work there Nate!"  
"I did! I came down and Cecilia said you weren't there!" He snapped back.  
"Oh don't bullshit me, Nathaniel. She would've told me if you came in." I didn't want to argue with him, especially in front of Lucien who I sensed was feeling very agitated. Other Fae began to slow their walking to watch the argument and I felt very ashamed. Of myself mostly.  
I shook my head, "Enough." I said quietly, "I'm going inside." Before I did so I turned to Lucien who watched me. I couldn't understand what he was feeling but he didn't look happy. "I'm sorry." I took his hands and squeezed them, "You... Didn't need to see this." I gulped and felt Nate bristle with madness.  
Lucien was quiet and squeezed my hands back, "Please, be safe." He said only for my ears to hear. I saw him hesitate as if he wanted to hug me but thought better of it and stepped back. He gave me a slight nod and headed back down the street.  
I felt Nate grip my shoulder and push me up the little stone pathway to the house. I stumbled but regained my stance as I walked up, Nate holding my arm as he almost dragged me through the foyer and up to our room.  
"Nate please slow down," I tried to escape his iron grip, tripping over my gown. He didn't answer as we came to our room and he opened the door and I walked in quickly.  
Now with the privacy of our room and no eyes on us, I felt much more at ease. But that ease ended when Nate spoke, "You are unbelievable, did you know that?"  
"What?" I turned to him, keeping my voice steady. I disliked when we got like this, it always turned ugly.  
"You," he gestured to me, "Being overdramatic. Making such a scene." He headed to his dresser, pulling off his tunic slowly.  
I snorted, "Me being overdramatic? Why don't you stop puffing out your chest and snarling like some beast whenever I fucking talk to another male!" My blood thrummed with fire, my outrage the fuel.  
"That _male_  looked at you as if you were his feast! Did you not see? Or are you blind?"  
I dug my nails into my palms, preventing them from shaking. "He did not! _You_  are the one being over dramatic," I retort then laughed suddenly.  
"Whats so funny?" He gripped his shirt tightly, glaring at me.  
"Oh gods," I laughed again, "I just had a thought." I shook my head in disbelief, "You're jealous."  
Nate laughed this time, "I am not jealous. Don't be an idiot. I am just protective."  
"Yeah. Sure. Protective." I said with icy sarcasm, "I may be an idiot, Nathaniel, but I sure as hell know when someone is jealous. You fucking radiate it." I knew I was right, deep down I knew. He always acted like a total asshole, even to my own friends.  
"Oh, don't lie! I was not jealous!" He was in denial, I could see the way he clenched and unclenched his hands, his avoiding gaze. I stared at him, remembering that waitress that was all over him.  
"You know what," He tugged on his shirt, "I don't want to fucking talk about this anymore. I'm going to a tavern." He stalked past me.  
I wasn't done yet so I grabbed his arm and made him turn around, "So you can have another woman touch and expose herself to you?" I was not going to let him get away with this, I needed to get this off my chest, "Let her touch you and whisper things in your ear?"  
Nate shook my arm off and faced me fully, "And you call me jealous," he scoffed and shook his head. "She was doing no such thing, we were just talking."  
"Oh yeah, sure. Talking my ass. I _fucking_  saw it all, you were ogling her! What does she have that I don't?! A bigger chest?! A slim body? Cause I know, I _know_ -"  
"Know what? That you're better?" He said. It was so degrading it was like a slap in the face, but I didn't let the hurt show.  
"Oh yes, I am. I have loved you unconditionally since we first met! I looked past the shit you've done and forgiven you. I held you during tough nights when you came back after months being in the camps. I healed your wings, I clean after your mess. So tell me, Nathaniel, what is that woman gonna give you? A haven for your cock to go into. That's about it. She won't give you anything that I have done." The wrath in his eyes turned to a raging storm of crashing waves and lightning. "So you have no fucking right to point the finger at me when I did nothing wrong!" I breathed hard, my blood was searing as I stared at him.  
He did not say a word, expression unreadable. I couldn't tell what he was feeling, his body so taut I swear he was going to crumble. "You got nothing to say?" I asked, my voice hoarse from yelling, "Not going to blame me like you usually do?"  
"Stop," his voice wavered, "I-I can't. I need to get some fresh air." He turned and started to walk to the door.  
"No." _I couldn't believe this!_ "So when I point out the wrongs you do you want to run and _hide_? What about me? How do you think I feel when you accuse me- Don't walk away from me," I ran after him, gripping his arm tightly and again trying to turn him around.  
Yet, I shouldn't have grabbed him for he turned so quickly and backhanded me across the face. I didn't know what hurt the most, falling on my wing or the hit I got. A ringing sounded in my ears as I clutched my numb cheek, my tears streaming down my face.  
"Oh Viviana, I'm so sorry-" He went to gather me in his arms but I let out a sob, more like a whine actually as I scrambled backwards.  
Away from him.  
I looked at him with wide, horror filled eyes. Mixed emotions flashed across his face as he stepped back, his mouth opening and closing before he bolted out the room. Harsh sobs broke out, making the pain almost unbearable.  
This fight had gone so out of hand, he had never once laid a hand on me before. Even if we both wanted to strangle each other, he had let it go. I didn't know what was different today. Didn't know why he was so pent up.  
I wanted to run, curl up in some dark corner of the house and stay there forever. But I got up instead, my wing throbbing since I had landed on it and went to the couch. I didn't want to go to the bed, his scent covered it and I had no desire to roll in it. I pulled the fur blanket on the three seater couch, kicked off my slippers and curled up on the couch.  
My anger had evaporated like mist on the Sidra River, and along with it, the heat. I started to shiver, finding it hard to sleep. I cursed to the gloom and got up. I grabbed some logs beside the hearth and laid it carefully on it, in hopes that the fire would help fight the chill in my blood.  
I held my knees to my chest, the fur blanket draped over my shoulders as I watched the fire dance. The colours reminded me of Lucien, his hair I sought to touch. An ache in my chest began at the thought male, I could still smell that cinnamon and even a hint of pumpkin spice that entwined with it.  
I smiled a little, I wanted to see him again. Maybe tomorrow I would seek out him, depending if I was up to see him was the issue. With the way Nate acted, I was fearful.  
I shook my head and pushed the thoughts out. Tonight I would try and get some sleep, despite the numbing feeling that crept into my body. I watched the fire well into the night, the crackling sounds lulling my tired body into some sort of sleep.  
Vile dreams slithered into my thoughts, my screams lost in the darkness.


	2. Chapter 2

I knew I should've stayed on the couch. My body ached in so many places that it took me forever to get to my feet. I stretched and rolled my shoulders, my wings spreading wide and I felt a little better.   
I took off my gown which was badly wrinkled and laid it on the couch. I took one glance at the bed and saw it had not changed since yesterday. My heart gave a hard twist but I didn't give it much attention as I slipped into the heating bathroom. The bathtub was instantly filled with steaming water but I had paused at the wall-length mirror.   
My entire cheek had become an ugly colour of deep purple and blue, I touched it and it was entirely numb. I didn't think he had hit me that hard, not enough to cause a bruise! I looked away, feeling the tears spring up as I pulled off my undergarments and got into the water.   
What was I going to say to everyone when I come down for breakfast? I had a hunch that someone had to have heard the argument, outside of the house and inside.   
And Azriel, Gods if he ever found out... I inhaled and took the buttermilk soap and lathered my body with it. Azriel would hunt Nate down and absolutely break him, with or without my consent. I heard whispers of the famous shadowsinger and his tortures he'd inflict on his enemies.   
I leant my head on the edge of the bathtub, staring up at the gilded ceiling of flowers and animals. I followed the vines and leaves, leading to delicate petals and feathers.   
My eyes grew heavy as the sleepless night began to take its toll on me, but the sound of a pebble falling on the floor startled me. I sat up and looked around, I did not see any- I saw it, a little black stone sat not too far from the bathtub. I didn't recall leaving or having something so... strange.   
It was like a pull, but not the one I had with Lucien this seemed more... familiar. Like I knew it. Whatever the hell it was. I grabbed my towel as I stepped out of the water and hastily dried myself off, all the while eying the strange pebble. I wrapped the towel around my body and gingerly went to the rock.   
I wasn't sure if I was going insane but soft whispers came from it. The words were smooth and elegant, flowing didn't yet held so much power and felt ancient.   
I heard the words as I leant closer, a beautiful melody of angelic like voices.   
_Come closer._  
 _We are your home._  
 _Please unleash us._   
Oh, the sweet temptation. Like a child drawn to a candy, I reached out with shaky fingers. Just the tips of my fingers brushed the didn't surface, and pleasure weaved through my nerves and took hold of me.   
I gasped and I couldn't stop as I wrapped my hand around the pebbled and allowed whatever it was to drag me in. I was suddenly under water, black freezing water and the whispers were now screams that made my ears bleed.   
I couldn't open my mouth as I tried to swim up, but the water was so thick and it felt like hands- Oh gods there was hands. Grabbing me everywhere and tearing into my skin.   
Hungry, hungry, _hungry_.   
Those words were chanted over and over as I tried to scream, but the black water rushed into my throat and began to choke me. I thrashed but the hands only tightened and dug into my skin.   
"P-Please." I managed to gasp out, feeling the life drain from me, as if these hands were sucking out my soul. "S-Someone... he...lp..." As if some miracle, a light began to carve through the groping hands. The smell of burning flesh reached my nose and I gagged, but it had lessened the hands and screams of horror surrounded me as the water tried to recede from me.   
But the light grew brighter, hotter as it tore through the darkness like an angry fire god. It broke the bonds on my body and seemed to settle on me like a second skin.   
"Go." I heard an unknown voice urge me, to fight, to escape. "I-I can't." I whined, "You can do it. Please, fight!" The voice grew distant as I tried so hard to fight the impending doom that surrounded me. The pressure was growing and I was failing to follow the order that unknown voice had said for me to do.   
My body was growing weak but I still thrashed, still fought. The water rushed back in and filled my lungs, my skin becoming cold and leathery. My body started to slow down, everything seemed to hush as I was suspended in air.   
Was this death? This… Emptiness. Devoid of anything. I was promised I’d return to fields of flowers and birds not… this. The darkness around me shifted, turned and coiled like snakes over my body. Like a soothing touch, they caressed every part of my body; over my breasts, between my legs, my arms, face. I did not react to the intimate touches, I did not feel a single thing.   
Not even fear as a pair of glowing red eyes appeared before me. Then a grin that was nothing but evil wickedness. I could tell it was a male, the strong jaw and straight nose, broad shoulders and body built as if he had many years to train. His body was shrouded in the inky darkness, a crown of twisting spirals of black stone.   
“ _Hello_ ,” He purred, the shadows on my shoulders now turned to hands, his thumbs stroking my skin. “ _You are a pretty little thing_.” His voice was sick yet oddly blissful. His hands moved down my arms to rest on my waist.   
I shuddered finally, but it wasn’t out of the low temperature, but pleasure. “ _Mm, I can see you liked that_.” I realised with a start that I did not wear anything. I was completely bare to this creature that mounted me.   
“ _What if I did this_.” His hands moved up my stomach and groped my breasts. I let out a whimper as he palmed me, “ _Oh? You like that?_ ” He whispered sultrily into my ear.   
I didn't like it, I didn't like it, I didn't! But my body betrayed me as I felt my core ache. " _Do you know who I am, sweet little bird?_ " He continued to touch me, his thumbs rolling over my peaked nipples. I arched my back, I couldn't stop it.   
I couldn't reply as the darkness wrapped around my ankles and began to open my legs. Tears began to fall down my cheeks, " _Don't want to talk? To shy?_ " He brought his hand lower, his fingers trailing down my stomach.   
He scowled when I didn't answer, whatever magic had sealed my throat. " _I'll tell you anyways_ ," His hand paused at my navel, " _I am a very, very powerful man_." He said bracing his elbow beside my head and peered closely at me.   
I held that red gaze, " _Your mother would know who I am_." The mention of my mother made my brows furrow, I didn't recall her mentioning any male she knew. " _Ah, I understand now. She never told you._ " That hand that was resting on my stomach moved lower again.   
I felt so disgusted with myself, the way my body ached for his touch. I wanted to scream, to claw his hands off my body. I still could not move, but I did sense another presence. This one I knew well and found comfort in. I reached out for it.   
" _What do you think you're doing?_ " I was dragged back to him and I finally growled at him. " _Oh now, you're going to play_." He chuckled and let a finger stroke my folds.   
Awareness began to seep into my bones, that little piece I felt before I was torn from it gave me hope. I needed to get out of this place, before whatever this man above me had decided to do. I gobbled up that slither of strength, "Get. Off." I hissed between my teeth as I twitched, fighting off the mental binds.   
" _I don't think so. I have finally found my toy again. You might not be Claudia, but you'll do. You have something I must take back._ " I felt his hands reach into my soul, going to that chest and tugged on the chains. " _You kept it well contained, but have you tamed it?_ "   
"No." I shifted, trying to will my body to wake up. "I never will." A spark of blue light struck the watery darkness, causing the male to pull back and snarl.   
" _What the_ fuck-" Again the cobalt blue light lunged out of nowhere and the male retreated back more. I knew instantly who it was, my own shadows flickered to life and I managed to 'move'. " _You_ bitch!" He went to grab for me but a wall of blue fire shot up and I heard an ear piercing scream.   
" _I'm not letting you go that easily_." I heard him cry out and I felt those mental hands grasp the chains on the chest and yanked hard. I screamed as white hot pain slashed through my soul, the chains sizzled and burned away and left the chest I worked so long to keep contained, open and free.   
And at that point, I felt that small missing piece in my unusual power, like the male that now was gone, was the final part of the puzzle.   
The fire curled around me like a blanket and I felt my mind, my very being be drawn away from the darkness and was laid back in my own body.   
I could feel strong arms around me, my body held against a strong chest and my head propped on a shoulder. My breathing came out in ragged gasps as I heard a voice hushing me, to calm me. I gripped on to the tunic as I began to sob, the impurity I felt of being touched without my consent.   
"It's okay. I'm here now." Azriel's voice whispered into my hair, his fingers running through my hair as I was rocked back and forth. It felt like ages before my crying had subsided and I was staring wide eyed at my hands gathered in my lap. I noted that my arm was entirely bandaged up and I was wearing a shirt and the scent told me it was Azriel's. Rain, that's what it reminded me, raw, wintry rain.   
I lifted my head up and saw that I was in a room. The walls and ceiling and floors were entirely made out of dark starlight stone. A cluster of chairs near a roaring fire.   
Azriel's room was always clean, imperturbable. Had an air of elegance and a hint of deadly stillness. I moved slightly and his arms tightened a little.   
"Hey," I said softly, my throat still dry. I looked up to meet those calculating hazel eyes, taking in each movement I made.   
He reached up with a scarred hand and cupped my cheek, "Do you want to eat?" He asked me and I perked up instantly at the mention of food and my stomach grumbled at the thought. A light smile danced on his lips as he reached to his side and brought back a tray.   
I moved out of his arms but stayed between his legs. He balanced the tray on his knee as I dug into the steaming vegetable soup.   
"Whoa, relax. Slowly." He rubbed my lower back and I flushed as I took my time. It felt like I hadn't eaten for weeks.   
Azriel had waited patiently as I ate the second tray of food. He had murmured that Feyre had made it. "I'll have to thank her later," I said as I wiped my hands and he placed the trays back on the bedside table.   
I held the white napkin in my hands, running my thumb over the mountains and the three stars above stitched on the corner. I knew he wanted to ask me what had happened, hell I didn't even know exactly how I... became trapped.   
My memory was foggy and only snippets flashed before me. But I wouldn't forget the hands of that male. I examined the bandage and my fingers which had visible veins that were black. I gulped and went to pull the bandage but his hand gripped mine gently, "Not yet. It must heal."   
I tilted my head, "Heal? Azzie what... What happened? Why am I here? How long have I been out...?" I knew I was in the House of Wind, I could see the grey clouds outside the balcony.   
"Half a day, it's early afternoon. You were in your bathroom, on your side and holding... Something. I couldn't tell. You were entirely covered in this... flame. A dark purple with a streak of silver. I tried to get close but the flames lashed out," I had paled at that, I had lashed out at him.   
He cupped my face in his hands, "This was not your fault, you had no intentions of hurting me." Rough calluses stroked my cheeks and I blinked back tears. "I didn't get hurt, anyways." He gave me a smile, eyes warming.   
I placed my hands over his and closed my eyes, he pulled me close and kissed my forehead. "I couldn't escape." I murmured, opening my eyes, our faces inches apart, "I... I couldn't fight as that man..." I choked on my words as I closed my eyes tightly.   
Azriel growled lowly, "I will kill him." And he would. I knew he would. "I don't know how I... I couldn't get to you. He kept me back." I heard the waver in his voice, the absolute terror that flashed in his eyes.   
It was my turn to cup his face, "Not your fault." I repeated his words, he huffed out a laugh, "Copying me is bad, sweet Vi." He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close, leaning against his hard chest.   
"I learn from the best," His shadows writhed around his shoulders and slithered into my hair. I sighed softly, nestling my head close to his neck.   
"Tired?" He stroked my arm slowly, I shook my head in reply. My thoughts drifted, sifting through the little information the male had told me.   
"He said he knew my mother." I finally said after a while, "He said that I took something from him."   
"Took something from him? How?" His shadows didn't disappear from my hair.   
"I have no idea." I watched the ivory coloured curtains drift in the phantom wind. I remembered what he had done before I was yanked away from him, and I stiffened at the now thought of the chains gone.   
"What is it, sweet Vi?" Azriel asked.   
"He broke the chains," I replied softly I wasn't sure if he had picked up my words.   
Clearly, he had, as his body had gone rigid, "Just before you grabbed me, he said he wouldn't let me go that easily." I ran my fingers along my bandaged arm. And noticed the angry red welt around my wrist, like a metal cuff had burned me.   
"I had my suspicions..." He shook his head, "I sensed the change in you. Like a door had opened for you."   
I pulled back again and felt fear start to creep in, "I've spent so long keeping it away, Azzie. I-I don't... I don't want to touch that power. Please, I don't. Please. Find a way to lock it." I gripped his tunic as I begged him.   
He gave me a plaintive look, a look I knew that he could not fix what had happened. Tears began to stream down my face as soft sobs escaped from my throat. I bowed my head, my hair creating a silver veil around me, "Please." I implored, shaking him gently.   
"Sweet Vi... This," He pushed back my hair and lifted my head gently, "You cannot let this fear in you win. You CAN do this, I've always believed in you. You know that." He took the napkin from my hands and gently wiped away my tears. "I have and will always support you, sweet Vi."   
The veracity in his tone made a smile bloom on my face, "I'll try," I could only manage to answer with.   
"A question," He started, touching my bruised cheek. "Where-"  
"I fell." I quickly said, holding his gaze. I didn't want him to grow suspicious.   
"On your face? Did you not hurt yourself elsewhere?" He tilted his head to the side.   
"No," I shook my head, "Not enough to bruise up. A little sore but I'm fine, really." I gave him the best smile I could muster. "Oh, by the way," I started, "When you came to get me... Did my friends... say anything...?"   
"No one was home at that time, it was empty." He replied simply, "I have not sent word to them, I figured you might want to tell them yourself."   
I nodded and smiled in thanks, "Okay. That's good, thank you."   
He gave me a tender smile and nodded, "Take a shower and get ready. We are going out for lunch."   
"Oh okay. Sure." I said, grateful that he changed the subject. I kissed his cheek and slipped off the bed, heading to the adjoined bathroom. I inspected myself in the mirror when I pulled off the shirt.   
My ribs seemed more visible, even my collarbones jutted out. I turned to check my cheek, it wasn't as bad as this morning, as it had gone down quite a bit but the discolouration stayed.   
I sigh as I prepped the bath and slipped in, being extra careful with my bandaged arm. I slathered myself in a soft mint smelling soap, rinsed and got out. As I dried myself a gown appeared on the back of the door.   
I gasped at it.   
It was the deepest blue, almost black and had a thick material. I slipped on the piece.  
The neckline was narrow but came to just above my navel. Intricate swirls followed the neckline and along the shoulder blades, matching the snug fit cuffs of the sleeves.   
I swept my hair from my face with a single silver clip at the back of my head. I smiled faintly as I rummaged through the cupboards and found a little box where Az kept a few pieces of my makeup. I applied light kohl around my eyes and bit of glitter dust along my cheeks.   
I stepped out of the room and found Azriel perched on a couch, he had changed to darker yet elegant clothing that showed off his lean, muscular body shaped and formed over many, many centuries. His siphons on his hands winked a brilliant blue and his eyes found mine, amazement shone in them.   
"I'm still surprised you, the quiet cunning shadowsinger, to have such a taste in clothing." I teased as I breezed to him, my skirts rustling a little.   
He let out a low chuckle, "Happens when you are forced to shop with a High Lady and her best friend." I tucked my wings tight once he swept me into his arms.   
I laughed, "They should make Cassian go." I wrapped my arms around his neck.   
"But then I wouldn't be good at picking outfits for you." He replied coolly and I rolled my eyes.   
"Yeah, you have a point there. Now fly shadow bat." I poked his cheek and he carried me to the balcony, with two beats of his wings we were airborne. I kept my face tucked into the crook of his neck, disliking the bite of the wind against my face.   
I allowed only Azriel to carry me like this, and he never objected, he offered mostly. Our silent communication was our main strength, we’d always have this… feeling and understanding what the other wanted. But I had the odd days where I couldn't tell what Azriel wanted, and I stayed away at those times.   
He landed with ease and set me on my feet. I went to a shop that had a mirror on display and checked my hair, fixing it a little, “There we go.” I turned back to him.   
Az eyed me closely again, his shadows curling behind his ears. He offered his arm and I took it, “Let's go.” He said before we walked down pathways and little streets riddled with boutiques I had visited.   
“You know,” I started, my fingers idly bunching up his sleeve, “We could’ve just landed in front of the restaurant.”   
“We could have, but we didn’t.” I rolled my eyes at his reply, “Besides, it’s a nice day.”   
“Are you talking about the actual day or yourself?” I snickered and pinched his side.   
“Myself.” I looked up and saw the pure enjoyment he had talking to me, our witty banter always put me at equanimity.   
We entered a little cafe that was turned to look like the trunk of a tree. The living walls were covered in moss and greenery, insects crept along the dark surface.   
“Danika doesn’t like this place,” I mused as we took a seat beneath a leaf-woven chandelier.   
“No? Why?” He asked as he sat in front of me.   
“It's the bugs. She hates the bugs.” I laughed as I watched a millipede crawl across the table. I reached out and allowed it to walk along my hands before letting it go.   
“I don't like it either,” Az mumbled as he tucked his wings in tightly behind him.   
“What? I thought you did!” I gasped, “Let's find another place then,” I started to stand but he made me sit with a gentle tug on my hand.   
“No, it's fine. Please sit,” He smiles softly as I sat reluctantly.   
“Are you sure?” I worried at my lip. Az nodded and squeezed my hand just as a waitress came to our table to take our order. She wore nothing by ivy leaves covering her breasts and between her legs, her skin a rich brown, her hair spring green and had leaves sprouting from her head to act as antennas. She had massive almond-shaped purple eyes, her little bee wings rustling.   
Azriel gave her a pleasant smile as he took a simple salad without any extras while I ordered a small platter of live insects. When she bounded away Azriel scowled, “How can you possibly eat that?”   
“Easy,” I replied, taking my napkin and folding it over my lap. “Just don't think of them being alive.”   
Azriel gave me an incredulous look and I laughed, “I’ll do anything for you, I'll but never eat live insects.”   
"Right," I drawled with a light giggle, "If I was dying, and to save me was to eat a... live spider. Would you do it?"   
Azriel sat there like a statue, watching me as if I had asked him the hardest question ever. His brows furrowed before he replied, "I would eat the spider."   
It was the strangest thing to hear from him, so I started to laugh. I clutched my stomach as I threw my head back.   
"Stop that! What is so funny!" Azriel was perplexed at my reaction. "Sweet Vi, please."   
I calmed to small giggles before I wiped my eyes gently with the napkin, "Oh, Azzie. You lovely shadowsinger..." I placed my hand over his siphon and my skin began to tingle.   
He held my gaze and I felt the ticklish tendrils of his shadows slip into my hair. I bit my bottom lip as they gently ran through the strands, brushing the nape of my neck and I involuntarily arched into it.   
Something flashed in his eyes as if he had found something new to play with. I blushed as the tendrils wriggled under the neckline of the gown, the touch sending shocks of rapture that made my toes curl.   
"Azriel..." I whispered, my fingers on his hand tightened around his wrist, I swear he let out a growl that indicated that he-   
The waitress cleared her throat and I snatched my hand back as my cheeks bloomed. The waitress gave us a devilish smirk as she set the salad in front of a very stiff Azriel who looked away.   
My own dish looked delicious but I wasn't sure if I wanted to eat it now since whatever happened just then caused a turmoil of emotions within me. I kept my focus on the crawling insects, my heart was like a war drum. I took a deep gulp of my mixed drink before I began to pick up crickets and the like and eating them.   
A displeased snort came from Azriel as he began to eat his salad. I gave him a small smile, a few legs between my teeth. He shook his head and looked back at his plate, shovelling food into his mouth.   
“These are a good source to get your vitamins,” I said as I crunched on a roach. “Healthy!”   
He gave another shake of the head but didn't say anything. His eyes were averted, staring anything but me.   
My shoulders slumped and I finished the dish, I took another drink and set the glass down. Fine, if he didn't want to look at me, might as well make him.   
I stood and it made his focus snap to me. I huffed and came up to him before I settled in his lap. His arms automatically wrapped around me and he leant back to watch me.   
"What are you doing?" He asked as I loosely placed an arm around his neck, my fingers resting along the collar of his jacket.   
"Sitting. You refuse to look at me and I find that rude." I sulked, he gave me his stunning smiles that always made my heart skip a beat.   
"I'm sorry," He returned the frown and his arms tightened around me.   
"It's okay," I hugged him quickly, "I wanted to ask you something anyways," I fought back a shudder as his thumb that rested on my hip slowly caressed me.   
"What is it?" That need in his eyes dispersed like smoke on a windy day.   
"When we spoke on the bridge yesterday, what... What did you do to him?" It had been on my mind all day, knowing what had happened to Fadil. As much as I wanted to punch that prick, I still cared for him deeply.   
Azriel noted my disquiet and said, "I did not hurt him. I simply spoke to him about not pushing you. To leave you alone when it came to your powers."   
I gave a soft sigh and nodded, "Thank you. He'd always do it, but those times were subtle. Not how he did it in the morning."   
He gave a slight nod, "He says he apologises but will come and say it in person. Right now, I believe he's being ordered around by his brother."   
I gave a short laugh, "Of course he would. Fade's way of 'punishment'. Or he'd make him go out with Bat and do whatever she wants." I remembered the one time where Fadil had taunted Danika and used some type of itching powder and placed it in her undergarments. He ended up catching some strange sickness that caused him to piss himself whenever he spoke to a female for a whole month, even when he talked to me.   
"Sounds bad," Azriel raised his brows slightly.   
"Very bad. But we all have a good laugh at the end." I stood up, brushing out the wrinkles in the gown. Azriel stood as well, tucking a card under the plate as we left the restaurant arm in arm.   
Though, we didn't walk far when Azriel paused and sighed, "I have to go. Rhys is calling me in for some meeting." He turned to me.   
"Oh okay. Tell him I said hi?" I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly.   
His arms came around me and pulled me tightly to his body, the sensation made my heart clench. "You okay getting home?" He said against my neck, his shadows finding their way in my hair again.   
"Yeah. I'll be okay," I pressed a kiss to his cheek and he gave me a small nod, "Get that bruise checked out, okay?" He said before he was nothing but shadows before me.   
I sighed and started up the street. I wondered where Nate had taken off to last night. I knew he had a private loft in Velaris and I queried whether I should check it out.   
If I was being honest with myself, I did miss him. I trusted him, as much as he seemed reckless I knew he wouldn't do something that would jeopardise our relationship.   
I ran a hand over my face and made up my mind to go check out his loft. It was a long walk and I tried to cut through narrow streets, fighting the urges to enter the pretty boutiques I passed.   
I reached the coral coloured warehouse. The ground floor was used as storage ranging from materials to weapons Nate had owned, he helped some of the markets in Velaris with their stalls.   
I came to the double doors and saw it was locked so I went around to the back door, patted along the wall to find the loose brick and pulled it out to retrieve the key.   
I unlocked the door and stepped inside. The air was cold on the ground floor. I picked up a lantern and the faelight within bloomed to life. It was eerie making my way through the high stacked boxes, the sounds outside a mere murmur.   
My fae senses picked up signs of life, but that was the rats that scuttled between the clefts of the boxes. But nothing else. I looked into the gloom, my skin began to prick as I had this sudden sensation of eyes on me.   
I paused in the middle of the warehouse and frowned, I had a tumultuous few days and figured my nerves were getting to me. I looked around, the faelight only reaching a few feet ahead of me. The rats had stopped scuttling and even the sounds outside became lost to my ears.   
I gripped the handle of the lantern tightly as I looked around, I knew better than to say anything. Maybe some kids had broken into the place and used some magic to pretend something was up?   
I shook my head and started to walk when a small crate crashed to the floor before me, the daggers clattering across the ground. I screamed and dropped the lantern and fell back, I scrambled for the lantern and saw a rat drop onto the fallen crate. Its beady eyes stared at me before it scurried away.   
I let out a frustrated growl and kicked the box aside, annoyed at myself for getting scared. "Stupid rat," I muttered as I stalked over to the iron staircase that spiralled up to the level up.   
Yet, as I ascended the stairs, I still couldn't fight that feeling that something else was with me there. It just made me more eager to get into the loft as I unlocked the door.   
"Nate?" I called as I set the lantern down, the candles in the room came alive and I could tell the place hadn't been used recently. The beginnings of dust coated the surface of tables and counters. The loft was elegantly decorated, totally not-Nate.   
The walls were ivory coloured with a single feature wall of gold and black swirls, a massive fire hearth sat in the middle, cold and lifeless.  
Deep purple plush couches gathered before it, furs laid over the backrests. The kitchen was the first thing that greeted you when walking into the loft, it overlooked the street below and pale sunlight came through the wall of windows. But it didn't fight the chill that wrapped around me.   
I sighed and figured Nate wasn't here from how dead the place felt. I went to reach for the lantern before I heard something fall in the bedroom. It was more of a thud than a crash like someone had jumped off something.   
I did not bring my dagger today and I cursed mentally for my idiocy. I did not have a great deal of knowledge when it came to fighting, but the dagger had given me comfort. I grabbed instead an old dagger from a shelf, holding the lantern in my other hand.   
_Thump._  
Again I heard it and abhorrence seemed to sit in my gut. I started to shake as I crept to the door which was slightly ajar and my suspicion rose to new heights. I hesitated.  
 _Thump_.   
I had the choice to run. What if it was a powerful High Fae? Or even a Hybern Soldier that had snuck into the city? I knew there was still a few of the king's henchmen on the run, hiding in cities and towns across the country.   
And with the way the loft was unused for some time, it seemed like a good hideout. I prayed to the Mother, hoping she would give me some strength and comfort as I pushed the door open and looked inside.   
Nothing.   
With what I could see, my night vision kicking in, I couldn't discern anything out of the ordinary. I stepped further into the room, raising the lantern and peered around the door cautiously.   
I relaxed when I detected nothing within, thinking it may have been just a rodent in the ceiling. But then it could be a person up above me. I headed to the walk-in wardrobe and check inside, nothing as well and I-   
A smell reached my nose and I gagged. It was stale yet had a rotten fish smell like it spent too long in the water and the sun. I could sense the presence behind me and held back a sob that was rising. Whatever it was started to hiss, no, pant but it was rough and sounded like water filled its lungs.   
Slowly, I turned and a figured stood near the end of the bed. I had no words for what I saw. The creature was thin, so thin that the bones were visible through the seaweed green skin. Tears and holes scattered along the decaying body, critters slipped in and out and beneath the skin.   
My eyes drifted up from its webbed hands to its face, bottom jaw was gone as if someone had torn it off entirely. Eyeless sockets stared at me, its head cocked to one side as if it studied me.   
"Viviana." I almost didn't catch my name from the creature until it said it again, "Viviana." It took a step to me.   
I held the dagger up, backing up into the wardrobe, "Don't come near me."   
"I only wish to talk," it continued, "A message from the King."   
I started. The King? What King?   
The creature gave a light chuckle, water spilling from the gaping hole in its throat, "He will come soon, very, very soon." Another step to me, the smell making me nauseous.   
"Stay- Stay away from me." I coughed as the smell became intense. "Whatever you are." My hand was shaking, the creature not too far from me.   
"Mmm, he said not to hurt you but... You look so... Tempting." I could see crooked teeth appearing, a snarl ripped from it. I let out a sob as I threw my dagger at it.   
The blade made its home in its bony chest, it simply stared at the weapon then back at me. "It will take more than that to kill me." And then it launched itself at me, webbed hands reaching out.   
I let out a scream as the ancient power I held wrapped around me like a barrier and lashed out at the creature. I watched in pure fright as my shadows had carved a clean line right down the middle.   
Blood sprayed from the body and I watched as it peeled apart and thudded against the carpet. I was covered in its blood and stood dead still as shadows writhed at my outstretched hands.   
I... I could not understand what I had done. Power thrummed through me, a consistent beat that somehow... awakened my senses. I could hear voices that seemed to far away yet right next to my ears.   
I picked up a set of feet storming up the stairs and then the bittersweet smell of cinnamon wrapped around me, "Viviana...?"   
Lucien's voice dragged my attention to him, his eyes wide as he took in the scene. His hair was a red halo as the sun in the window shone behind him, a saviour sent to me.   
I swayed and before I could collapse I was gathered in his arms, he was wiping the blood on my face and I was somewhat amazed at the trepidation that masked his handsome face.   
I managed a small smile and tried to talk, yet he hushed me, "No. Don't speak." He lifted me up in his arms, the warmth that came from me made my soul ache with need. That strange feeling in me shuddered in anticipation at how close I was to his body.   
It wasn't like when I was around Azriel. This felt much deeper, intimate than ever. But my concern didn't lay there, my stomach rolled and I started to feel ill.   
"We need a healer to tend to you." I heard him say, he was carrying me out of the loft and I heard the wingbeats and a flash of black hair and the cool voice of a male.   
I must've been in and out of conscience, voices and flashes of light shot past my vision and something soft behind me. Heat seared within me, followed by a biting cold sensation.   
I could still smell and feel Lucien near me, his hand gripped mine as I felt my lips part and a liquid sliding down my throat. His face was a blur when he peered down at me, then moved away and came back with something in his hand.   
I felt the cool fabric press to my forehead, my body began to settle and feeling returned fully to my body. The bed sheets were smooth against my bare body, but I felt safe and warm.   
My vision cleared and I could make out a room bedecked in rich colours of dark reds and oranges and gold. It had a rugged touch, clothing strewn across plush couches, a large desk cluttered with papers and weapons.   
Heavy drapes were pulled back to allow the milky light of the moon to filter in the room. I looked back to where Lucien was perched on the edge of the bed, he had changed out to a simple white shirt that I could clearly see those defined muscles and fitted trousers. I blushed when my eyes wandered further down and looked away quickly.   
“You’re still red in the face, are you okay?” He reached over and turned my head back to his, but that smirk knew why I was flushed.   
“I’m fine, thank you.” I pushed myself up and realised I wasn't entirely naked. I had a shirt on, his shirt to be precise and nothing else. He fluffed up the pillows and fixed them behind me, I giggled at how nice and generous he was.   
“You’re being awfully nice for someone who you barely know,” I raised my brow as he tucked me in. He seemed to be fussing over me and I gripped his hands, “Lucien,” I said.   
He looked up at me, puzzlement in his eye, “Yes?”   
“I’m fine, really. You don't need to do this,” I squeezed his hands, “I just feel tired, that's all.” I gave him a sweet smile.   
“O-Oh,” he nods, “If you say so.” He brushed a thumb over my knuckles. He stared at me as if he was trying to find anything wrong or that would disrupt my health.   
I sighed and before I could reply the door opened and Azriel strolled in, holding a tray of steaming tea. His body relaxed instantly he saw me, “You’re awake.” He came over and set the tray down, he poured the honey and lemon tea into a cup and handed it to me.   
I took it and sipped the hot water, feeling instantly good at the taste. The males seemed to wait for something, watching me closely. “What?” I scowled, flicking my eyes between them.   
Azriel gave me a one over then spoke, “What happened?”   
I couldn't understand the look he gave me but the growl that came from Lucien made me turn my attention to him, “Did I do something wrong?” I asked.   
“Just tell me what had happened,” Azriel said, there was a demand and authority in that tone and I furrowed my brows   
“Azriel she just woke up, give her some time to gather herself.” Lucien snarled softly, tension began to sizzle between them.   
“I get that, but this is a serious matter. She killed someone.” Azriel retorted, shadows curling at his hands.   
My world had stilled and narrowed down to that word. Killed. I had _killed_ someone. I paled at the thought, I had not meant to kill someone it was simply out of self-defense…   
“Vi,” Lucien took my hand in his, lacing his fingers with mine, “Vi its okay. Hey.” He touched my cheek gently, pulling me to his chest. I wrapped my arms around his back and held tight.   
“I… I killed someone…” I whispered, inhaling his scent, “H-How?” I pulled back enough to see a grim-faced shadowsinger.   
“She was carved in two, by your magic.” Azriel explained calmly, “The people of Velaris are in a shock and want answers.”   
I kept my arms around Lucien, needing his warmth and strength, “I did not see a woman at all, Az.” I shook my head, “I… It was some creature. It smelled of decaying fish and had leathery looking skin.” I explained. Azriel nodded, listening, “It had no bottom jaw and… and said that the King was coming. To get me.”   
I remembered that scratchy voice, the fervour in the tone. It made me sick in the stomach to think of it. “I-I swear I mean no harm to anyone,” I knew what the family would think of me, knowing some wack-job murdered their daughter. “I saw some creature that attacked me and I was simply doing this out of self-defense!”   
Azriel looked solemn, rubbing his jaw. The siphon on his hand was a dark blue in the hazy light, reflecting the turmoil within me. Lucien pulled me back against his chest, his lips pressed to my head as he murmured, “It’ll be okay, Vi, I’m here.” He stroked my hair gently, the touch ease a little of my aching soul but the idea of an innocent…  
“Stop it,” Lucien held me tighter as if he was able to read my mind, “This- This wasn’t your fault.” He looked at Azriel and the spymaster stiffened.   
“I will do my best to ease the people, Rhys is organising a meeting.” He said, but all I wanted was to be in Lucien’s arms. I wanted to be alone with the male.   
Azriel bowed his head and ducked out of the room, the door barely making a sound after him.   
“Who was she…?” I asked as I laid back down on the pillows, my tea forgotten on the bedside table.   
“She was a daughter of a very rich Merchant. She was to take on his role.” He said, staying seated beside me.   
I closed my eyes tightly, “And… When you found me… What did you see…?” I bunched up the silk sheets in my hands, tears threatening to spill.   
He didn't reply instantly, looking a bit distressed at the question. My heart dropped, “You saw a woman, didn’t you? And you see me as some crazy person who has problems with her powers.” I laughed a little shaking my head, “Gods. All I wanted was to live a normal life and hopefully start a family of some sort. Now I might be sent off somewhere murders spend the rest of their days.” I sat up and ran my fingers through my hair.   
“Vi…” Lucien looked heartbroken, “I didn't look properly, I just saw you and went to you first.” I knew he was trying to make me feel better but the truth was clear.   
“You saw her. I know you did. I saw you look down then back at me.” I said, my heart beating hard. Was I now seen as a monster to the world? To my own home? Azriel looked at me as if I was some criminal.   
My best friend.   
I sat up and held my head in my hands, rocking back and forth as my body shook from contained sobs. Lucien touched my shoulder and I flinched, moving away.   
“I’m sorry…” He said softly, his hand dropping to his side.   
“Don’t be. I shouldn't get any sympathy, I don't deserve it. Maybe… Maybe I should-” I was pinned to the bed and Lucien’s hands braced on either side of my head.  
His answering growl made me stare at him in shock, but no fear, “Do not say what you were going to say. You are not a criminal or a killer. You were in the wrong area at the wrong time. Do not dare breath those lines.”   
Maybe I should be sentenced.   
“Lucien…” I whispered and pulled him down, I buried my head into the crook of his neck and cried softly. He repositioned himself so it was comfortable for him and wrapped one around my shoulders so I could snuggle into his body. He was careful of my wings, making no move to touch them.   
“How long was I out for?” I asked, sniffling a little. I needed to know what had happened to myself, I remember feeling very ill and coming and going from sleep.   
“Most of the afternoon and evening. The healer…” He trailed off, shifting a little. I looked up and cocked a brow to see his blush creeping across his cheeks.   
“Why are you blushing…?” Was he getting sick as well?   
“Um… Well.” He looked anywhere but me, I reached up to touch his cheek. “Well, when I brought you here, I was the only one to help her…”   
“With?” I pushed, now curious to why he was growing shy.   
He laid on his back and covered his eyes with an arm, "She said I needed... Needed to take off... Your um..."   
"Oh," I said, my face matching the colour of his hair, "Oh my." I laughed with embarrassment. "So you saw me...?"  
"I did. I-I apologise for that. I told her it was inappropriate but she said I shouldn't waste time when someone was ill." He said in one breath.   
His face was priceless and I let out a bark of laughter. "Oh gods." I clutched my stomach, tears in my eyes. It was good to laugh, my body relaxed and I felt much calmer.   
Lucien scowled and looked away, pouting a little. "Hmph." He crossed his arms.   
My laughing settled and I looked at him, "Don't be so grumpy looking." I patted his cheek and took his hands, unfolding them as I laid half across him. I held his wrists down on the pillow and smirked, "I'm sure you've seen a woman's naked body before?"   
He kept scowling, "That's different. I was made to take your clothing off without your consent."   
"So? You were asked to. Would you rather me be clean or dirty?" I let go of his hands and sat crossed legged beside him, my wings tucked tightly behind me.   
"It didn't feel right," He said softly, his hair splayed behind him.   
"Hmm..." I admired that hair and reached out without thought and... ran my fingers through it. It was like silk, running between my fingers.   
Lucien raised himself on his elbows, "What are you doing?" He asked, his voice had a slight shake as if he was restraining himself.   
"Um," It was my turn to blush, my hand slipping out of his hair but he took it before I could take it back. His palm was rough against my knuckles and I sucked in a breath when he kissed the soft pads of my fingers.   
Everything within me was like an explosion of feelings, emotions. My heart squeezed as the touch of his lips rattled my nerves and spread through me like a wildfire.   
This wasn't the same when Azriel's shadows slipped into my hair or the flick of Nate's tongue between my legs.   
No.   
No this was something else. Something that would inevitably destroy me and then rebuild me before breaking me again.   
"Vi," He whispered as his gaze held mine, there was some unknown emotion that swirled behind his russet eye. His hand came up and cupped just behind my ear, his thumb brushing the delicate point. I leant into that touch, I honestly had no idea what was going on. Why I was allowing this male who I knew for less than a day to... Make me feel this way.   
My head was tilted back as he leant in, his breath tickled my jaw before he moved down to my throat. Yet his lips did not touch my skin as if he was scenting me. Noting how and where to place them.   
My body felt so hot like fire replaced my blood and flowed all to the sensitive areas that needed to be touched.   
"When you screamed," He began, his head tucked where my neck met my shoulder, his hand now on my arm. "I thought... I thought I had lost you,"   
The way he said it. So much anguish in his voice I closed my eyes tightly, "Yet you didn't lose me." I found myself saying. "I am fine, thanks to you."   
He drew away and a whine escaped me, his arm instantly finding my waist and tugging me close to his body once more. An apologetic look crosses his features as he leant in and pressed his forehead to mine.   
I shouldn't let him do this. This felt way to intimate. I was with another male, claimed by him. But this, whatever that was growing between me and Lucien... It felt right. I placed my hands on his broad chest, our faces still close.   
His hand on my back made small circles, my body instinctively leaning closer to his. "Lucien..." My voice came out breathless, oh gods what was wrong with me?!   
His hand began its ascent up my spine, pausing just under my wings. "Hm...?" He moved and his lips were inches from mine.   
If I just moved just slightly I would- "Lucien, wait." I gripped his shoulder and pulled back slightly, my breathing came in fast pants.   
Whatever had brewed between us fell away as he blinked and gave me a confused look. "Oh Vi," He pulled back, "Oh gods I'm sorry I- I didn't mean to- I am so sorry."   
I shook my head quickly taking his hands before he could fully move away. I needed him close, to stay. "D-Don't go,"   
He gave me a look and nodded. He unlaced his knee high boots and closed the curtains before he came back. He slipped into the empty spot beside me, tugging out the little up do he had before he laid on his back and turned to look at me.   
I laid on my side, hugging the pillow a little. Heat still throbbed between my legs, but it began to diminish. "Thank you," I whispered, the candles in the room began to wink out from his magic.   
"For what?" He took my hand and held it between us, his fingers slipping between the spaces.   
"For helping me." I tugged his hand closer and pressed my lips to his knuckles.   
He smiled, "No need to thank me. I am simply doing what is right."   
"You are too kind," I whispered, his hand now cupped my cheek.   
"I learn from the best." He pulled me close and I candidly curled beside him, my leg hooked around his. This felt right.   
"The best?" His arm slipped around my neck, his fingers brushing my shoulder. His nostrils flared and I knew he was scenting me.   
"I made bad judgments before the War had started, chose the wrong people to trust." He murmured, "I was blinded by my loyalty."   
I listened to him talk, hear the pain and fear in his voice. I placed my hand on his chest, feeling the slight beat of his heart.   
"I was shown clemency and friendship. True friendship. Feyre had helped me a great deal." His other hand was on mine and we were finally wrapped up in limbs.   
Unbreakable.   
"You're a nice man, Lucien," I said, feeling sleep begin to settle over me.   
He brought the covers up higher, his arm tightened around me. "I try to be." He kissed my head, "Sleep, Vi, you need it."   
I smiled faintly, the worries of the day disappeared as a content feeling smoothed out the bumps and tears in my soul. Lucien's breathing had cradled me into a deep, heavy sleep. And for a first, not a single nightmare had crossed the gates.   
I dreamed of flying high and laughing as the sun's rays warmed my wings.   
The sweet, delicate press of lips along my shoulder and my neck. Strong arms encompassing me and telling me that I was safe and loved.   
I dreamed well into the night, lost in the bliss and light that thrummed between me and Lucien.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a Kudos or a Comment! Much Appreciated <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such a long wait! Enjoy!  
> There is a sex scene in the middle of this chapter.

Waking up was a... strange experience.  
I felt totally at peace, my body didn't feel cold, I felt warm. To warm, actually. I groaned when I stretched, I had moved positions and was on my stomach.  
When I opened my eyes and pushed myself up and realised the spot beside me was empty. I rubbed my eyes and yawned, Lucien must've gotten up and went who knows where.  
I had to repay him for what he did for me, saving me and lending me comfort afterwards. I did some stretches for my wings before I got off the bed. I saw the bathroom door slightly ajar and decided to wash up quickly before I hunted Lucien down.  
I didn't even know where to look. I don't know the layout of his house, what if he didn't want me to walk into a room that was private? Or what if he had a room that was... dirty? I snorted at the thought, Lucien wasn't the type to like that side of sex. Especially not with ropes and whips. Or was he...?  
I smirked lightly at the thought, I didn't mind experimenting different styles. I was open to all things, really. I'd tried to get Nate to help me but he refused to do so. No idea why. I rubbed my arm and pushed open the bathroom door. And my entire body froze.  
In the bathroom was... Lucien. Who was stark naked with a towel in his hand. His entire body was a beautiful golden brown as if he spent years beneath the sun. There was a slight glow to it, the water droplets adding the shine. I couldn't help but gawk when those muscles shifted, his entire body was like someone had carved him from marble. Perfect, strong and lethal.  
As if he knew, a low chuckle came from him, "Liking the view, Vi?" His voice was ragged, hoarse as if he hadn't spoken for a while.  
"U-U-Um..." I stuttered and slammed the door shut, the fire burned within me as I backed up from the door.  
I ran out of the room, my cheeks heating up as I couldn't help but kept thinking of his body. That glow... I managed to find my way into the kitchen and place both my hands on the counter to steady my rapid breathing.  
Being somewhat calm and controlled I began to make breakfast, to help me at least to deluge the burning, throbbing sensation between my legs.  
There was something wrong with me, why in Mother's name was I _like_ this? And to him only?! Why was this desire overflowing my entire being, my very core, screaming at me to just... let him in?  
I started to cut into the bread before Lucien's voice startled me, "Morning," I turned and looked at him.  
I swear, he was doing this on purpose. He wore the towel low on his hips, his abdomen was... I forgot to breathe and let out a shaky sigh as he walked around the table. I eyed that line of fine hair that went from his navel and disappeared beneath the towel and saw something defined-  
I turned my back to him and picked up the knife again, I cursed myself as I locked my legs tightly.  
"If you want to see more," He was right behind me, inches apart, "You can just ask me." His hands now rested on the counter, I was encompassed in his arms.  
His body neared mine and I felt his hips press up against my rear. And dear gods I melted at the hardness that greeted me. This bloody _bastard_ -  
Air escaped me when I felt the brush of his lips on the curve of my wing, I dropped the knife as I gripped his wrist, his hand now moved to stroke my bare leg.  
His kisses moved along the bone of my wing as I let out a breathy moan. His hips pushed harder against me, his fingers dangerously moving to my inner thigh. Every caress of those long fingers sent my body into an overdrive of scorching hunger.  
My own hips betrayed me as I began to ground them against him, his fingers so close to my cleft. I tilted my head to the side as his lips found my neck, his chest rumbled as a groan slipped from him, "Vi." Was what I heard, and a whimper laced with a moan emitted from my throat.  
With a flex of his fingers, they- I gasped and jolted back into him. "Lucien- _Lucien_." I gripped his wrist and yanked his hand away from me, and when he stepped back this angry pulse replaced that heat.  
I hunched over and caught my breath, my legs shaking as if I had run for hours. Every thought had left my mind and just... the feeling of him. So damn thick and pulsating-  
"Vi," His voice was soft behind me and I slowly turned to look at him. He leant against the island, his eyes trained on me. I saw that predatory look in his eyes, the territorial flame.  
My breasts ached, my nipples peaked beneath my shirt and I placed an arm across them, to hide his penetrating gaze.  
"I'm sorry," He finally said after a few beats of silence, "I didn't mean to come on you so... much. I-I don't know what came over me." His throat bobbed as he looked down, in shame!  
I shook my head and pushed myself off the counter and stepped to him, placing my hand on his bicep. "It's... It's okay Lucien. I just- I'm... I don't know. I..."  
"You're with someone else," He said softly. Almost... bothered. Though I didn't give it much thought. Most men were annoyed that I was with Nate, I had no idea why but figured it was because of my pretty little innocent face beside a beast of a man.  
I sighed lightly and pulled my hand away from him, "I um... I'll finish breakfast off."  
"You didn't need to," he seemed a little more relaxed from the change of subject.  
"I want to," I smiled tenderly at him as I turned away and began to prep toast.  
"Alright, boss. Whatever you say." He chuckled, "I'll go get dressed."  
"It'll be almost done when you come down," I replied before he slipped out of the room.  
I worked quickly to make the breakfast. I finished just as he came back in, donning a simple white shirt and trousers, his red hair out and shining.  
"Mmm," he sniffed the air as he came over to look at the brightly coloured plate. Yellow eggs with evenly cooked bread, fresh tomatoes and mushrooms, "This looks great."  
I blushed and as I turned I bumped into his raised hands. The plate clattered to the floor in a loud crash and the food went everywhere. "Lucien!" I cried as I bent down to pick up the broken shards.  
"Sorry. Let me do it, Vi." He batted my hands away and I stood up, "You go eat." He looked up at me and smiled.  
I scowled, "Rude," Though I went to my seat and watched as he quickly cleaned up the mess before filling another plate of food.  
He sat and instantly dug in, I laughed as I began to empty my plate. He went for seconds and I rolled my eyes, "Can't taste that good. I should've added more salt..."  
He scowled, "Vi, its does taste good. It fantastic." He nods as he sat down and shovelled his food into his mouth.  
I didn't seem convinced, and shook my head, "Sure." I laughed and sat back, crossing my arms. "Entice me." I gave him a challenging look, my lips upturned in a smirk.  
He looked at his plate for a while, "Hmm... Well, the eggs are perfectly cooked, the right amount of salt..." He tilted his head to the side, "Toast isn't dry. I like it just cooked. And don't get me started on the mushrooms-"  
"Alright, alright. Fine. I get it. But you win this time. You still gotta taste the other stuff I cook." I stood and took our empty plates and left them in the sink.  
"Are you asking me out?" He sat back in his chair, an excited look crossed his features.  
"U-Uh..." I blushed, "Hmm, m-maybe," I crossed my arms and looked away.  
"Well, I accept your offer, Vi," He smirked, "When and where?"  
A knock at the front door made me close my mouth and Lucien stood.  
"I wonder who it is." He pondered and headed out of the kitchen and I followed behind him. He opened the door.  
Nate stood there, his body stiff as he eyed Lucien with such wrath. He didn't even look at me.  
The males stood so damn still, you could cut the air with a blunt knife like it was butter. So I cleared my throat and Nate slowly looked at me, took in what I wore.  
"Viviana." He said, his voice was rough, dry as if he was screaming for ages.  
I gulped, "Nate," I said shakily. Seeing him somehow alleviated me, I wanted to just hold on to him and not let go. I stepped closer and tentatively took his hand. He squeezed and my shoulders relaxed a little, seeing the coolness in his eyes and not that murderous glare.  
"I'll be taking her home," Nate said and with that began to tug me out of the door.  
I didn't get to speak or ask for a change of clothing, so Lucien spoke up for me, "She's naked and you will haul her to the street? Do you not have any decency for your own lover?"  
Nate stopped and slowly turned to the male, a deadly gleam in his eyes, "You have no right to tell me what is decent and what isn't."  
Lucien crosses his arms, this... territorial pulse came from him and I felt the anger rolling between the males. "At least let me give her a coat or something."  
Nate was about to refuse but I shook off his grip and walked up to Lucien who reached around the door and handed me a knee length coat.  
He gave me a pleading look, "Please, Vi." He said softly, only for me to hear.  
"Lucien, I'm sorry." I gave him an apologetic look as I wrapped the coat around me, "I can't do this." I stepped back, away from him.  
He reached out and took my arm, his tight hard but not painful, "Understand me. Please, you know what is best for you. You know this isn't-"  
I snatched my arm away from him, "You have no right to tell me that. I do know what is right for me and it's with _Nate_." I said with such a bite Lucien took a stumble backwards. And the hurt... Gods, the absolute pain on his face made me instantly regret my words.  
I had struck him hard and before I could apologise, Nate growled behind me, "Let's go, Viviana."  
I reluctantly obeyed and hurried down the steps to Nate. And as I followed closely behind him, I looked once back and felt the hit of emotions slam into me.  
The hatred. The pain. The craving. Every single one came from him.  
A gasp came from me as I looked away quickly, ' _No... No, it can't be._ ' I thought with a mixture of panic and confusion. ' _Impossible!_ ' I was breathing hard as I wrapped the coat around myself more tightly.  
I pushed the thoughts out, needing to keep myself together as I followed Nate up to the house.  
Upon entering the house, Cecilia was walking down the stairs slowly, pale amber eyes examining me.  
"Viviana, where have you been?" She moved past Nate who stood at the foot of the stairs, arm crossed.  
"Out, that's all." I gave a weary smile, noting the absence of the pain that would make me wince.  
"For three days? You missed work and haven't returned home." She came closer, a hand on my arm. Her eyes widen slightly as she drew her hand back quickly.  
"Stuff happened. I had to fix a few incidents." I replied easily, gulping as I started to head for Nate.  
She grabbed my arm hard, "New spreads fast. The girl-"  
"That you murdered." The room instantly became cold, frost crept along the honey coloured walls as I turned to see Bathsheba standing atop the staircase. She wore a robe like a gown, entirely made of pale blue and crystals lined the plunging neckline and the cuffs of the open sleeves. Her hair, much like icicles, twinkled with each movement she made. Her face was narrow with sharp features, a hard look on the usual grinning face.  
I met the crystalline eyes, and my blood chilled instantly, "I didn't murder her." I gasped, feeling that invisible hand wrap around my throat.  
Nate turned to Bat who stalked past him, he was held still and growled, "Bat," He hissed between his teeth.  
"You. _Murdered_. Her." The winter court fae snarled, her eyes becoming a snow storm.  
I struggled against the grip and fell to my knees, Bat now looming over me like the white bears that roamed the snowy landscapes of Bat's home.  
The grip tightened, "I-I'm sorry! P-Please Bat- I can't b-breathe!" I looked over at Cecilia who was also stuck in place.  
"Bathsheba, enough." Cecilia pleaded softly, her fire continued to die at her fingertips. The air was so cold I could feel my body growing numb.  
"N-No," Tears streamed down her pale cheeks, "She needs to suffer. She killed my best friend!"  
"Hurting your friends is not the way to go, Bat. Let her explain." Cecilia tried to soothe her, but it just made her hostile.  
I whined as black spot began to shroud my vision, the air becoming less and less. "Bat..." I gasped, hunching over before falling to my side.  
Their voices became distant and I was once again faced with that open chest. I did not need this, not again. If I lashed out at my friends I would never forgive myself.  
I inhaled deeply, "What do you want?" My voice was soft, quiet as I faced the chest.  
No reply.  
I stepped closer, "I know you can hear me," I said, pushing back the fear that started in me. I stepped up to it, my hands bunched at my sides, "Why are you not here to taunt me again? Huh?" I peered over the edge, seeing nothing but inky darkness.  
I screamed in frustration and the power inside erupted out, knocking me back on my ass. I gasped at the impact and I was staring up at the glass dome. My body was shaking, my blood thrumming with the dark power.  
Slowly, I sat up and to my horror, I saw Bat curled on her side with Cecilia crouched beside her.  
Danika had also made an appearance, inspecting the oddly bent arm.  
I made a sound much like a choke, silver eyes snapped to glare at me, "The fuck is _wrong_ with you?!" Danika snarled viciously.  
I couldn't speak as I felt a strong arm wrap around my waist and I looked up to see Nate. He was frowning but he helped me to my feet, I clung to him tightly.  
Danika stood. She wore cream coloured pants, which was loose and gathered at her bare feet with a silver band. Midriff exposed, her top matched the colour of her pants but was more like something for the bedroom than day wear.  
She stormed up to me, her blue hair, multi-shades, was held back in a messy braid as if she had just woken. "Viviana!" She stood in front of me, "Hey! Look at me!"  
My eyes drifted back to her, instead of the hate I had just seen moments ago, I saw concern. Genuine concern. "It'll be okay. Shh..." Her hand reached up to touch my cheek but I winced and backed away.  
"It-It won't be okay. I hurt her. Oh, gods what have I done." I felt my tears fall down my cheeks.  
Nate held me steady, rubbing my arms, "Come, let's go to our room." He said softly before he gave Danika a short nod as he guided me up the stairs.  
Bat's soft whimpering followed me and stopped once the door shut behind us. I stumbled to the bed and sat, holding my head in my hands as I cried.  
Nate came over and wrapped one arm around me and held me close, giving me his strength and support I had craved from him.  
His fingers found my chin and my head was tilted back, I looked into those beautiful eyes of his and saw the pain and sorrow in them, "I am so sorry, Viviana." He whispered, "For how I treated you the past few days. It was so selfish of me," He touched my cheek. "I-I want to mend things again. I don't want to lose you."  
I gulped as I placed my hand over his hand, my thumb caressing his knuckles, "Oh Nate... Nate..." I pressed my forehead to his. Seeing him like this... so vulnerable and troubled... "It's okay Nate. I forgive you."  
His eyes snapped back to mine, widening slightly, "What? You do?"  
I nodded, "You didn't mean it. It was just a mistake." I pushed back a strand of his hair, my fingers running along his cheek as I moved closer.  
"Oh, Silvy." I shivered at the name as I pulled him close, my lips locked on his.  
His arms found my waist as he pulled me into his lap, our bodies tightly pressed together.  
I opened my mouth for him, his tongue instantly exploring inside and rolling over mine. I moaned softly as I popped the buttons near his wings, before helping him take off his shirt and discarding it aside.  
The coat I wore found its place on the floor, alongside the shirt. I was completely bare before him. His eyes moved up and down, taking in each curve and freckle on my skin.  
"Nate," I whispered, taking his hand and placing it on my breast, his grip tightened and I let out a gasp as he started to palm both. I bit my bottom lip as heat bloomed between my legs.  
The peaked nubs rolled under his hands, causing small pleasurable shocks to ripple through me. I arched more into the touch, looking down to see that massive bulge in his pants.  
I looked up to see the look he gave me, the silent command which I slid off his lap and went on my knees before him. He was first to please, and I readily accepted that.  
I gulped as I reached up to untie the lace and buttons on his pants, he moved so I could tug them off. Nate never wore anything under his pants, said it made it easier when it came to sex.  
I eyed his hard cock, watching it slightly throb, "Go ahead, Silvy. Have a taste." His fingers were tangled in my hair as he tugged me closer.  
I took his cock with one hand, slightly rubbing him. His groan was the answer I desired, I pressed my lips to his shaft as I began to suck and kiss up to the broad head.  
"Silvy-" His grip in my hair tightened and yanked a little, "Take me now." I whimpered at the slight pain as I opened my mouth and his cock was shoved deep into my throat.  
From this point on, I had to keep my lips around him as he face fucked me. I moaned to allow the vibrations to go through him, gagging a little each time his cock prodded the back of my throat.  
"Silvy! _Oh_!" His cries sent bliss through me, I loved the sounds he made as I had him wholly in my mouth.  
I looked up to see his jaw clenched, his eyes burning with lust. Each thrust he made, reminded me of every other time we fucked.  
Unyielding. Rough. Wild.  
I closed my eyes as I bobbed my head, easing him into the release he shouted out. His cum spilt into my throat, filling it entirely.  
Even as I pulled back, some of his ejaculation went on my face. He calmed and I met his gaze once again, swallowing his heavy load.  
His smirk made me growl, "You are one hell of a girl," He cupped my face and pulled me up, kissing me roughly and sloppily.  
I giggled innocently, "I am?" He had gotten me to lay down on the bed where he had sat, now kneeling before me.  
"You are. Now it's my turn to taste you." My legs hung over his shoulders, his soft kisses that trailed down my inner thigh made me squirm. "Hold still, Silvy." His arm across my stomach held me down, I couldn't move as he teased me.  
"Stop teasing then." I gasped as he kissed around my cleft, each one was the fuel to the burning passion within me. "Nate~" I rasp, my head was thrown back as his hot breath tickled me.  
"Beg." He murmured, nipping at my thigh.  
"Please, Nathaniel. _Please_. I need you. I _need_ you to eat me." I managed out, every focus I had narrowed down on his mouth and the ideas of what it did to me.  
I saw that devilish smirk spread across his rough-hewn face and every part of me went taut when that sinful mouth was upon me. He didn't need to use his fingers to pry me open, only that wet tongue was enough as it pushed between my pink folds.  
His tongue sought out each spot, occasionally sliding over my clit which caused my body to raise up and lower with a long moan that rattled through my chest.  
The sensation was glorious, the press of a finger to my bundle was the switch to wake the flurry of primal need.  
"Nate! Please!" I cried, both hands knotted in his hair that came unbound from his ponytail.  
His growl was the only response as if telling me to stop begging and allow him to just devour me slowly. But his wicked tongue kept edging me to that release that he would drag out as long as he wanted.  
I let out an animalistic growl, bucking my hips slightly to bring more friction. "Fuck! Goddamnit _Nate! Nate!_ "  
I was so desperate, I needed him. His fingers danced at my leaking entrance, enticing my soul as another whine came from me.  
"Is this," He pushed his middle finger into me, "what you want?" It was but it wasn't enough to sate the beast.  
"More!" Another finger went in until he started to pump them in and out. Slow at first, testing me before his pace became faster.  
His fingers were so deep in me, right to the knuckles. He knew when to flex and how much to press inside me, he was an expert to pull out the relief that was swelling very fast.  
With each push, the frantic, sublime concupiscence made my moans become incoherent sounds. My body writhed under his touch, succumbing to his hold as I let him break me apart.  
He was so good, so efficient and swift. His third finger had joined with the others, his mouth ravaged me like a wolf at its prey.  
I felt it. I was close, on a collision course as sparks tore from me. Nate was relentless, his knuckle slamming hard against me as he coaxed my body to let go.  
And I did.  
I was incandescent as I tumbled off the cliff. That flurry reached me as I cried out his name, my body shuddering as I came undone. He fingered me until my high was pliant.  
His fingers slipped out of me, and I watched as he brought those fingers to my lips. A silent order in his eyes, I opened my mouth and I sucked them clean.  
"Silvy," He purred as he slowly crawled atop me. I moved back so we were more on the bed. His fingers stroked my wings, and I stifled a moan. "You like that?" His head lowered to my neck.  
A breathless gasp, "Yes," As I turned my head to the side for him to have room, his lips pressing soft, deep kisses.  
My legs were splayed open, his cock stiff and ready to be pushed into me.  
Hips lowering, he gripped his shaft and rubbed the head along my wet slit. I whined at the contact, my fingers tightened in his hair. "Nate." I managed, lifting my hips up.  
And then he slipped into me.  
My worries and the hell I endured these past few days had dispersed like mist under the sun.  
His cock stretched me wide open, the pain was a mixture of utter euphoria as he went deeper and deeper and deeper... Until our hips were now united.  
He didn't allow me to recollect myself as he sat back, gripped my hips and began to thrust. I reached over my head and gripped onto the sheets as I cried out as he slammed hard, a growl tore from him.  
I swear I heard another cry but not one of mine or Nate's.  
But I didn't pay much attention to it as I was once again, submerged in the cloud of passion. Utterly lost to the electrifying madness of Nate's thrusts.  
It wasn't long before I was on my hands and knees, but he pushed me down so I was flat on my stomach.  
"Keep your legs together." His voice guttural I almost couldn't understand him.  
He held my wrists in an iron grip, a bit too tight for my liking but I didn't say anything. He held the reins in bed.  
I felt that beckoning again, the unruly hand of the ecstasy that was sure to cascade down on me if Nate kept up his pace.  
His loud grunts indicated he too was at his peak, his cock pushing against each crevice unveiling that cloud. I pushed my hips back into him, my body slick with sweat as I helped him to his finish.  
" _Viviana!_ " His cries were my undoing, and we both tumbled together as our climax shot through us both.  
He filled me with his cum, I could feel some of it leaking out as he kept thrusting to ease me through mine.  
I panted hard, my body still buzzing from the merciless fucking. The bed jolted as Nate laid on his side beside me, his male smile made my skin prick a little.  
"I love you, Silvy." He murmured, reaching over and pushing back a strand of silver hair behind my ear.  
I pushed myself up before I moved closer to him and kissed him deeply, his arms moving around me, one hand pressed under my wings the other cupped my rear.  
"How much?" I asked as I pulled away.  
"A lot." He replied.  
My smile widened, "A lot, a lot?" I raised a brow.  
"A million times a lot." He kissed my brow and pulled a fur blanket over us.  
"Oh wow, that's a lot." I giggled, "Okay let's stop saying a lot. It's starting to sound weird."  
"Agree." A chuckle reverberated from him.  
We both fell silent, relaxing after our session. I must've fallen asleep or something along the lines of it, my mind had become light like a feather and when I woke I was standing in my room.  
I blinked and turned around and gasped. I was still on the bed, curled against a sleeping Nate.  
I looked at my hands and saw I was nothing but a smoky figure. I tested it. Moving around the room and simply going through tables and chairs. It felt natural to me.  
Was this what it was like to be a shadowsinger? I didn't ask Azriel what it was like for him. And this feeling... I didn't feel scared of this power.  
I owned this and I was free to use it as I want. So I did.  
I explored the house in my ghostly form. Finding no one in their rooms or to haunt I went downstairs.  
And paused before the large study room that was situated near the foyer. I could hear voices behind the double doors and my curiosity tugged me towards it.  
I drifted through the doors and spotted my friends in the room. Saleem, sitting at the large study desk, dressed in a simple royal blue robe embroidered with gold.  
Danika sat beside Bat whose arm was now wrapped. Cecilia was perched in a single seater her face grave.  
And of course, the Twins stood near the large window that overlooked the street, both in dark attire with ankle-length coats.  
"What are we going to do?" Fade asked, arms crossed.  
"We can't kick her out." Fadil looked at his brother.  
"No. She brought us together, she is family," Saleem said.  
Their anger seemed to be directed to Bat who clearly looked infuriated.  
"What if she snaps again? What if she kills one of us?" She hissed, snatching her hand away as Danika went for it.  
"That," Saleem said, voice low and steady, "Was not her fault. Something is brewing within her and she must take hold of it."  
"She's been refusing for years! Why would she change her mind now?" Bat seethed.  
"She better," Fadil replied, "Because she shouldn't be worried about hurting others. It's herself. That power is-"  
Fadil's voice became distorted as if the world around me was underwater. Even my focus had gone hazy and I blinked away before everything turned to normal.  
"We need to tell Azriel. Or it'll be too late." Saleem was writing something and I tried to get closer but as I looked the words were an inky mess.  
I tried to focus but it made me ill instantly. I stumbled and knocked over a vase, it crashed to the floor causing everyone to jump.  
"By the Mother!" Danika got to her feet.  
Saleem had paused his writing and seemed to be staring directly at me.  
An invisible hand pushed me back, and I was sucked into my own body. I shot up into a sitting position, gasping and clutching my chest.  
Nate stirred and looked at me with wide eyes, "Silvy?"  
I looked around, "Oh gods." I ran my fingers through my hair, standing up on my feet.  
"Hey," Nate was in front of me, hands on my arms, "What happened? Did you have a nightmare?"  
I shook my head, "No- No. I- I need to shower first." I was shaking. I was so cold and stumbled to the bathroom. The bathtub filled instantly with steaming hot water and I slipped in.  
Nate came in and sat on the edge, watching me closely as I lathered soap to my body.  
"I stepped out of my body." I finally said, untangling my hair.  
"What do you mean by that?" His brows furrowed slightly.  
"Like. When I fell asleep, a part of me... Was out of my body. Like a ghostly form. I could walk around." I wasn't going to tell him what had happened. He might make the situation worse, and I didn't want anyone getting their teeth punched in.  
Nate cocked his head to the side and frowned, "And?" He seemed to notice my restlessness.  
"I don't know how it happened. And it felt so... Strange. Yet natural and easy. I don't know." I shuddered.  
"Oh," He nods a little. He seemed unsure what else to say so I took his hand.  
"Can you," I gave him the best smile, "Make me something to eat? I'll come down."  
"But you already ate." He raised a brow.  
"That was hours ago now, it's close to dinner time." I pouted.  
"Fine," He drawled out, "I'll go. Don't have too much fun without me." He kissed my lips before he left the room.  
I rolled my eyes before I finished up and dried myself off. I pulled on some thick pants and a pale green jumper. I left the room, wearing cosy slippers.  
Saleem was heading towards me, no sign of a letter in his hands.  
"Hey." I smiled as we stopped.  
He gave me a look and smiled back, "How are you feeling?"  
"I could be better. Just tired." I tugged at my hair.  
"Oh. I can tell," He nodded at me.  
I looked confused and turned to the window and could see my reflection vaguely, and the dark spots that littered my throat. "Oh!" I blushed darkly.  
Saleem chuckled, "I'll see you later," He patted my shoulder and swiftly walked past me, as if in a rush.  
I watched him head off, noting the odd look he gave me but I decided to keep moving and not think too much on it. I already knew why he gave me such a look.  
The thought of it made me feel... sick in the stomach. My own friends were shit scared of me and were already thinking of kicking me out.  
And what the hell did Fadil say? About my power? They all had looked worried, fearful even.  
Whatever was said, my friends were concerned for me. And the idea of training... I ground my teeth. I'll have to discuss it with Nate, might give me some light on it.  
I could smell the fresh bread and spices in the air once I stepped into the cherry kitchen.  
"Look at you," I smirked as I watched Nate cut up vegetables and throwing them into a boiling pot. I sniffed again, "Lamb. Yes." I sat on the stood and watched him keenly.  
"Your favourite." He looked up from his cutting and gave me a male smirk.  
"Not the only meat I like to eat." I murmured, licking my lips.  
He flashed me one of his male smirks and I blushed, "The only meat you should have."  
"You guys are disgusting," Fadil breezed in, giving both us a horrified look.  
I watched as he went over to the cooler and pulled out a raw heart that looked like it came from a cow.  
"Deal with it." Nate snickered as he finished up the dish he had prepared for us both.  
"Have been for the past years," Fadil replied back as he cut into the heart, needle teeth flashed before he munched down on it.  
"Could you maybe go and eat somewhere else?" I paled at the sight, watching the blood drip down his fingers, his chin...  
I gagged and looked away quickly, hiding my shaking hands under the counter.  
Fadil seemed to notice and set the half eaten heart down before putting it away and cleaning up. He walked around the counter and stood beside me, "I owe you an apology."  
I looked up slowly, meeting those pretty green eyes. Up close, his beauty was breathtaking. Fadil and Fade were the 'Princes of the Hewn City', everything about them was pure elegance and ethereal. Something out of a book, that didn't seem real but was.  
"An apology indeed." I kept my chin high, feeling Nate's eyes on me.  
Fadil looked down, "I am sorry. I stepped out of place and shouldn't have pushed you. I took the wrong approach and I hope you could forgive me."  
I stayed silent. Mostly to let him suffer for the pain he put me through that morning, I smiled, "Of course, Fadil. I forgive you. Just... Don't do that again." I said softly and took his hand.  
He looked down and squeezed gently, "We good?"  
"We good." I nodded and stood to hug him tightly.  
His arms wrapped around me and patted my head, "My little Vivie."  
"I am not little!" I exclaimed and punched him lightly in the stomach.  
He grunted but laughed, tugging on my hair, "Little." He turned into shadows before my next assault could reach him.  
His laugh echoed around me, causing me to smile broadly. "Hate you!" I called out.  
Nate rolled his eyes as a bowl of steaming soup was placed before me. I looked at it and groaned as the different spices and scents reach my nose, "Best cook ever. I knew the camps taught you something about the domestic ways."  
"I was also taught how to fight, Silvy." He sat across from me and dug into his food.  
"Mmm," I tapped my chin with a spoon, "I guess so. Though, you kinda fight like a girl."  
"Excuse me," He jabbed his spoon at me, "I do not."  
"Nickolas beat your ass. Three times." I stuffed a broccoli into my mouth.  
"He is older than me." He retorts, giving me a wounded look.  
"Age doesn't matter. I could so take you down." I pushed back my hair.  
"Little." He mimicked, "You wouldn't even last a second."  
"How would you know? We never tried. You refused all the time."  
"That," he started, "Is because I will hurt you."  
I gave him a good long look, "Hurt me? No, you won't. You're just afraid a woman will beat you."  
"No," He shakes his head, a few dark strands coming loose, "I just don't believe a woman should be fighting."  
I set my spoon down slowly, my skin prickling as a flash of white hot anger simmered within me. "Excuse me?"  
"What?" He gave me a nonchalant look as if his words weren't wounding me.  
"How can you _say_ that? What do they teach you in the camps?" I was mortified, the urge to slap him was tempting.  
"How to fight and live. That's it." He shrugged and went back to eating.  
I shook my head, "Azriel tells me things." I went back to eating, yet the food tasted bland now.  
A growl came from him, "Yeah? Like what?"  
"That the Illyrians," I said slowly, "Use the women for breeding and fucking. Even go as far as clipping their wings to prevent them escaping." An ache began at the base of my wings. The thought of them cutting them off...  
"Lies." Nate snapped, eyes brewing with ferocity, "We do not do that."  
I raised a brow, "Coming from a man who has lived for over five hundred years... It's kinda hard not to believe him. Even Cassian and Rhys backed him up."  
Nate simply rolled his eyes and stood, cleaning his empty bowl. "They came from a brutal camp. I didn't. We are not doing such things, we are- are training them." His back was to me, but I heard the waver in his voice.  
"Yeah? What about the numerous other camps across the mountains? I highly doubt that some of them are actually listening to Rhys' orders to have women fighting."  
Nate turned to me finally, his face now unreadable. "Then I'll have to show you. We'll go after Danika's birthday."  
"I've got work-"  
"Tell Cecilia you just need two days off, it'll be a quick visit." He cut me off, his shoulders set.  
I considered it, "I'll talk to her tomorrow then." I got up and handed my bowl. "I'm going back to our room. I'll see you upstairs." I turned and left the kitchen.  
Coming to the room, I let out a long sigh. I saw the coat that Lucien gave me and picked it up, the scent on the coat was strong as if he had worn it almost constantly.  
Without a second thought, I hugged the garment to my chest. I yearned for the autumn court male, that feeling, the tether to him... I reached out for it but there was just silence.  
Like a door had been closed.  
I wasn't sure what the hell it was, or understood why him. But whatever it was, I hoped it went away. It confused me, my needs for desire and touch was muddled by it.  
Did I want Nate or Lucien who was a stranger still in a way? Especially what happened this morning with him.  
I walked to the chair before my dresser and laid the coat over the chair, I'd have to go and return this to him soon enough.  
I released a sigh as I started the fire in the fireplace. I crouched and coaxed the embers with a poker, Lucien's smile flashed in my mind, the relief on his face when he looked at me.  
I stood and got dressed into a nightdress before taking a book off the shelf. I closed the curtains before I slipped into my bed, fluffing up the pillows and settling against it.  
It wasn't long until I heard a knock at the door, "Come in," I called.  
I didn't expect when Bat came in, wearing a tight midnight blue gown made of entirely velvet.  
There was bruising on her neck that disappeared under the neckline, her bandage visible under the sleeve. Her face was set in a frown.  
"Bat?" I tilted my head to the side, my voice broke her distant gaze.  
"I came in to see if you were okay." Her voice was softer, not like her loud, boisterous shrill.  
"Fine as ever I can be." I smiled, then gestured for her to come over, "How is your arm?"  
She walked slowly, a bit stiffly as she perched on the edge of the bed, "Healed. Danika set it back into place. No pain." Her eyes were trained on a painting across her.  
I closed my book and moved beside her. I went to take her clenched hands but she snatched them away from me.  
"Look," I started, my shoulders slumping as I rest my hands in my lap, "I am sorry for what I did earlier. I really am. I didn't mean-"  
"Sorry won't bring her back," She said, no trace of emotions behind her words.  
I looked down, the guilt rising once again. I was seriously at a loss for words. What am I supposed to say? There were no witnesses to the event, just myself.  
Not even Lucien would be able to justify my innocence.  
"I loved her." She said, "Galatia was her name. Her family is from the Day Court." She unfolded the piece of paper that was scrunched up in her hand.  
It was a painting of Galatia. Her hair was onyx and her skin was dark but also white patches covered her face, arms and chest. Her eyes were a brilliant amethyst colour. She had a lopsided smile that made her features seem childish but still utterly gorgeous.  
"She's beautiful," I murmured.  
Bat nodded, "Her laugh was golden. Her eyes sparkled whenever she saw something that was odd or out of place. She described them unusually perfect," Her smile was sad. Loss clearly taking a toll on her and I felt for her.  
"She was always singing. Even in her home, you could hear her voice from the gardens. Her father was once a singer before he became a merchant. She was even invited to High Lord Helion's parties to sing."  
Slowly she looked up to me, her eyes glossy with tears, "I want to hate you." My heart clenched at the words, "But I can't. You- You are my friend who has been there for me all the time." My hands were covered by hers, warmth running up my arms.  
"I received a letter today," She exhaled softly, "Lord Mablevi wants you to come to the day of Mourning. It's two days before Danika's party but we will return in time for it."  
"Oh," I nod, "But... why does he want me to come?"  
"To mend whatever has happened. He wants to hear your side of the story but I believe he wants to forgive you as well." Bat explained.  
"Of course. I'll come." I smiled softly.  
"We leave tomorrow afternoon. We will stay the night there," Bat got up and so did I.  
"Before you go," I looked directly into her eyes, "Know that I have no intentions of hurting anyone. You know I am not like that."  
A slight nod from my friend before she gave me a quick hug, "I know. Get some rest, I'll see you tomorrow."  
With that, she left the room and I was once again alone. I got back into bed and resumed reading, getting lost in the words.

 

* * *

 

I woke up.  
But it wasn't daytime yet but early morning. The fire had long since died down and a cramp started in my back from the way I had fallen asleep.  
I sat up and stretched to ease out the tightness. I looked over and saw that the sheets had not been touched, and I couldn't pick up a fresh scent of Nate.  
I got up and pulled on a robe, picking up a copper candleholder, the wick coming to life and illuminating a pale green colour.  
I made my way down the silent halls, tapping into a little bit of my power and hearing the creaks of the roof or of a bed. Even the muffled sounds of someone snoring.  
The foyer was silent, the moonlight making it eerie almost. Somehow the shadows and darkness comforted me.  
I came into the kitchen, feeling slightly peckish and picked up an apple, munching into it.  
I thought about where Nate had gone to. What was so important to be out so late? He'd have come and told me or at least say something at dinner.  
Setting the apple core down, I pressed my palms to my forehead and sighed.  
"Early riser, I see." Fade's voice made me jump and I turned to see him float in, his lower torso complete encompassed in writhing tendrils.  
"Not really, felt a little hungry," I gave him a slight smile as I watched him move to the cooler to fish out the heart his brother had taken two bites in. Fade was more of a clean eater, setting the piece down and cutting it into neat slabs.  
"Why are you up?" I watched as he cut the two slabs into neat cubes before popping one into his mouth.  
"I don't sleep, remember?" He chuckled.  
"Oh yeah, sorry." I yawned, "Hey, question."  
"Mm?" He looked up.  
"Do you know where Nate is?" Fade had to have known, he was almost like a shadowsinger, knowing exactly who and where everyone was. But his power was much more in-depth and personal, he and his brother were Daemati. Mind readers.  
"Oh! Yes. Nickolas had come by not too long after you left, he needed Nathaniel right away so he couldn't come tell you." He shrugged.  
"So? Couldn't he run upstairs to just say he had to go out?" I felt a pang of hurt.  
"He told me to tell you." Fade packed away the heart and turned back to me.  
"But you're telling me now." I narrowed my eyes, the wound opening more.  
"I did come in but you were asleep and I didn't want to disturb you." He gave me a look that made my heart melt.  
"Right." My shoulders slumped as I got to my feet. Fade was in front of me immediately.  
"Don't think I was keeping anything from you." He placed both hands on my shoulders.  
"I'm not. I just, I would've preferred if you woke me and told me so I didn't wake up feeling upset." I fiddled with a button on his jacket.  
"I'm sorry," He hugged me, his chin resting on my head.  
"It's okay. You were being considerate and I appreciate that." I wrapped my arms around his waist and held tight.  
"Well, next time I'll disturb you and tell you." His chest rumbled as he let out a soft laugh.  
"I hope there won't be the next time. But thank you." I pulled back and patted his shoulder.  
"I'll leave you to it. Gonna go back and make paper figurines for Dee's party." He kissed my head before he floated away.  
"Have fun," I mumbled as I began to head back to my room. Voices caught my attention and I stopped in the middle of the foyer.  
Again I tapped into my power and went still.  
It was Nate's and a woman's voice.  
I hurried into the study room and peaked between the curtains.  
In the middle of the pathway was Nate, wearing what I saw him before, and the fae woman I saw touching Nate in the cafe.  
She was wearing a tight gown that exposed every curve she had, and if I looked closely enough it was almost see through. She was holding on to Nate's arm, her lips puckered.  
So I listened.  
"Please Nate," She purred, "Let me in. We could find another room and I'll sound proof it."  
A low growl unleashed from me.  
"No," Nate shook his head, "Go home. You've had too many drinks tonight." He pulled her hands away but she was quick and snatched them and pressed them to her breast.  
"Oh come on, Nate," She drawled, moving his hands up and down, "You love these so much. Why are you refusing me now?"  
He hissed and gave her a good shove, she stumbled back, "Piss off." He snapped.  
She rolled her eyes and pulled the sleeves of her gown down, right under her breasts.  
Nate's body had gone rigid as he stared at her exposed chest, "I can see your friend making an appearance." She again stepped closer to him.  
He didn't step back.  
"She doesn't have to know. Just don't say anything." The fae woman continued, wrapping her arms around his neck.  
I watched in horror as she pulled him down for a kiss, but he covered her mouth with his hand and let out a deadly snarl, "I said, _piss off_. I do not want you. I do not. Go fuck someone else, whore." He gave her a good push and she finally took the idea he didn't want her.  
She gave him a vulgar gesture, "Asshole," She pulled her gown up and stumbled down the street.  
Nate turned and hurried up the steps, I quickly removed myself from the window and stepped out of the study just as he came in.  
"Silvy?" His surprise made me turn as I closed the door.  
"Hey," I tried to hide my shake as I gave him a tired smile.  
"Why're you up?" He walked to me, concern laced his features.  
"I was reading and fell asleep, woke up with a back cramp and came down to grab a quick bite," I explained, another yawn escaping me.  
"Oh," He runs a hand through his dishevelled hair, "I'm sorry I-"  
"Fade told me not to long ago. It's fine." I quickly said, unable to hide the annoyance from my tone. I stalked past him, heading back up the steps.  
Nate followed without replying, and the smell of alcohol and sweat, "You better bathe before you get into bed." I said as I shrugged off my robe and got back into bed.  
He nodded and grabbed clean clothes and headed into the bathroom. I sunk into the bed and tucked my wings tightly behind me. I listened to the splashing of water and soon drifted to sleep.  
I only woke when Nate had gotten into bed, smelling like mango and apple but the hint of alcohol still lingered.  
"I love you," He said, waiting for a beat before he turned and had his back to me.  
I didn't return the words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment and a Kudos if you enjoyed this chapter!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A wonderful morning ends with a fight with Viv and Bat. Viv spends most of the afternoon with Lucien and greatly enjoys herself. She then heads to Lord Mablevi's estate in the Day Court to attend Galatia's funeral.

Fog clung to the city streets even when the sun had risen. The air was frigid, not even my cloak could chase away the shiver that managed to slip under my skin.  
Danika had managed to convince us, as a group, to go out for breakfast.  
"It's so cold! Why can't we be inside?" Fadil huffed, he was wearing his trademark heavy coat atop a jacket. He even went as far as wearing his gloves. His twin, sitting beside him, wore the same attire, the only difference was that Fade wasn't wearing gloves.  
"Because it's a clear day and it's good to be out needle mouth." Danika flicked her blue hair over her shoulder. Danika had donned a very lacy, tight frost blue gown.  
I gave a short chuckle when Fadil gave her a vulgar gesture, earning a kick under the table. It resulted in them bickering.  
I sat near the end of the table, Saleem across from me. His tunic matched his eyes, sea blue and silver embroidered.  
Beside him was Bat who stared at the table mat, she was still in that gown she wore last night. It seemed she had slept in it. I was concerned for her, the vibe from last night... It seemed off.  
Cecilia sat beside me. She wore a coral chiffon dress, the neckline cut across just under the hollow of her throat. The sleeves dropped open at her wrist but there was an undersleeve beneath it. The bodice was covered in little semi-precious stones, flashing bits of yellows and oranges like flames.  
It reminded me of him.  
"I feel like winter might come early this year," Cecilia said beside me, sipping her tea.  
"How do you know?" I asked, looking at her.  
"Usually the fog starts just a few days before winter." She explained.  
"Or today could just be an odd day where the fog comes," Danika said.  
I watched as the waitress brought our plates and set them before us, the twins were the only ones who didn't order.  
"Anyways," Danika said, changing the subject, "Are the preparations for my birthday almost done?"  
"Almost. We need to just get the cake." Cecilia said, picking up her toast and taking a small bite out of it.  
"Will it be what I want?"  
"Big, colourful, sparkly? Yes, it will." She gave a slight nod.  
"Why can't you just enjoy what you get, Danika? Why do we have to make this party such a big deal." Bat spoke up, her tone was dead and ruthless.  
Danika gave her a look, "Because... I want to?"  
"Having close to a hundred people you barely speak to? Why would you want strangers at a party?" Bat gripped her fork tightly in her good hand.  
"Firstly, they are not strangers. I do speak to them, they are my friends-"  
"So we are not good enough to be around? Anyways, my friend died why can't we move the party to another day?"  
The table had grown considerably tense, everyone watched Bat and Danika. Someone had to step in, or an exchange of words will soon hurt someone.  
"Bat, please, we understand that you are hurting but you shouldn't take it out on someone else," I said softly, seeing the turmoil behind her eyes.  
Bat glared at me, "How would _you_ understand loss? Huh?"  
I winced at the words, "I understand it, Bat. I do. I struggled at that time to accept it and move on. I-I was only a little girl." My hands started to shake, I placed them on my lap and scrunched up the deep purple silk of my skirts.  
"What did you lose?" Bat asked, that hardness still in her eyes.  
"Bathsheba, enough." Saleem finally spoke up, a hand over her ice coated hand. "It is disrespectful to ask such question."  
She snatched her hand away, the hurt cut through Saleem's handsome face.  
"Yeah, whatever." She rolled her eyes, crossing her arms and sitting back.  
Conversation over, it seemed.  
Though Danika looked like she was on the verge of tears and suddenly got up and left the table, giving Bat a nasty glare.  
Fadil, who was quietly seething, watching her go, "What a way to ruin breakfast, Bat." He hissed as he got up and chased after her.  
It was a first time I had seen genuine concern in his eyes, especially towards a woman.  
Cecilia seemed to see the same thing and sighed, picking up her cup of steaming tea, "So," She started.  
I looked up from my plate and eyed her, "So?"  
"Where is Nate?" Cecilia asked.  
"Mmm," I bit down my toast, "Had work to go to," I replied with a mouth full.  
Bat snorted, shaking her head.  
I cocked my head to the side, "What?"  
"Oh, nothing. Nothing." She pushed the food around her plate.  
I knew she wanted to say something, so I was going to drag it out of her, "No, spill. What makes you so... hateful about him?"  
Slowly, Bat raised her eyes to mine, "That's a bit of a strong word, hateful. I don't hate him, I just... dislike him. He's always after you."  
"So? How does it affect you?" My brows furrowed. Cecilia took my hand under the table, a soft squeeze to tell me to pull back.  
I wasn't going to let this go.  
"Oh, it doesn't. Not just me. Everyone here hates it, seeing you sucking his face and riding him like some who-"  
"Bat." Saleem let out a warning growl, a sound that never came from him.  
But right now, I wasn't focused on that. My eyes were trained on Bat, darkness, raging darkness began to spill over the edge of the open chest. "Whore?" I finished with deadly calm.  
"Looks like it," Bat had blatantly ignored the warning in Saleem's voice, unfazed that she had stirred a beast before her.  
"Don't call me that," I said, my voice shaky, "Don't you _dare_ call me that when you are one _yourself_." The words had just... fallen from my poisoned lips.  
There was no way I could've taken them back from the utter hurt on her face. The already broken wall crumbled down around her as a mix of emotioned swirled in her eyes.  
And yet, I did not feel a single remorse for the words. How dare she treat me like this!  
Bat stood up and spat at me, "You bitch! I hope you die!" Tears streamed down her pale cheeks, she screamed at me and a wall of ice slammed into me.  
I was thrown violently backwards, the railing behind me snapping and I tumbled into the water. All I could hear was the muffled cries and someone diving after me.  
Strong arms wrapped around me and dragged me back to the surface, Saleem didn't hesitate as he swam to one of the docks. The sailors helped me up but I didn't move from my spot on the ground.  
I was in a total daze, my body numb all over. Why did I have to add more wood to the fire?  
A blanket was placed on me before I was bundled into the arms of Saleem. He was soaked from head to toe but he did not show one bit of unease as he silently carried me through the streets.  
Whatever happened seemed to cause a commotion, I watched over his shoulder as two Illyrians landed at the restaurant and disappeared inside before hauling out a thrashing white-haired woman.  
"I'm sorry," I whispered, yet it didn't seem like the truth.  
Saleem didn't reply as he came to the back of some building and shuffled into the back room. I recognised it to be the art room Cecilia and I used.  
He set me down on a stool just as Cecilia came in, Fade in toll behind her. I looked away from them and stared at the floor. My skin was pale and I finally felt the cold that started to eat away the warmth in my veins.  
Fade moved to start a fire with Saleem, their backs to us as Cecilia stood before me. “We need to get you out of this.” She said.  
I wasn’t sure if she was mad or angry at me.  
I nodded as I reached up with shaky hands and started to undo the tight bodice, I got to my feet and slipped the soaking gown and silently took the pants and jumper from Cecilia.  
Without another word, I headed to the now lively fire and sat down on the ground, warming up slowly.  
“I need to get rid of the ice on your cheek and neck,” Cecilia sat beside me holding a pair of tweezers. I turned a little to her so she could start.  
I whimpered softly as she started to pluck the ice, it felt like a knife cut, blood oozing a little from the wounds.  
“Lucky for you, this won't scar or leave a bruise,” Fade said as he joined me on my other side, taking my hand in his and I felt his power seep into my skin.  
I could only offer him a small smile but as of now… I just wanted to be left alone. To brood over what I had said. Instead, I spoke up, “I didn’t mean to say that to her.”  
Everyone was silent then, the only sound was the fire crackling and my occasional hiss as the ice was plucked from my skin.  
Cecilia paused her work, “You did mean it.”  
I met her gaze, “I swear! It just came out of my mouth, I-I didn’t mean to…” I felt the tears spring up in my eyes. I turned to Fade, “You can tell the truth, tell her I’m telling the truth.”  
The eldest twin looked away, guilt shone in those eyes.  
I looked back at the fire, pulling my knees to my chest. I did feel bad, but when the words had come out… “I really am sorry. I am. I am…” I trailed off, letting Cecilia clean the rest of the ice from my face.  
“Cassian and Azriel were nearby and came to help before Bat could’ve frozen everyone,” Saleem said behind us, he was looking at the paints.  
“Oh… I see.” I nod and turned back to the fire. Cecilia got up and fiddled with something on the table.  
“I need to open the shop. If you all are staying here, don't bother the customers when they come in.” She said and headed to the front.  
“I should go and check on Bat,” Saleem said, rubbing the back of his neck.  
I nodded, “Okay.” He gave me a gentle smile before he left the room. I turned to Fade who kept his focus on the fire.  
I reached out and took his hand, “D-Don’t be upset. Please. I’m not upset with you.” My fingers slipped in the empty spaces of his fingers.  
He looked up at me, “You’re not…?”  
“Does it look like I’m upset with you?” I raised an eyebrow and gave him a light smile.  
He shakes his head, “No.” He sighed, “I just- You know I can’t lie to you or anyone.”  
“I know,” I gave him a tight hug, his arms wrapping around me.  
He let me go and we sat back, eyes on the fire again.  
“You are not obliged to stay here with me, you know.” I picked at the blanket that had been placed over my shoulders.  
“I know but I don’t want to leave you just yet. Not until you’ve been feeling better.”  
My heart clenched at the kindness and I leaned against him, his arm going around my shoulders.  
“Softie,” I mumbled and elbowed his side gently.  
“I am not!" He objects, pouting a little.  
"Soft," I poked his stomach, "Mmm yeah. You might need to work out."  
He rolled his eyes and kissed my head, "Cute."  
Someone cleared their throat behind us.  
We jumped and turned to see Lucien standing with his arms crossed. He wore a dark blue tunic with black leather pants that really defined his muscled legs.  
I felt warm all over again as I dragged my eyes up his body, I remembered what he had looked like without clothes on.  
Fade gave a short snort, standing up, "I was just leaving."  
I gave a small whine but he simply gave me a wink over the shoulder, there was slight fear in his eyes as he quickly slipped out of the room.  
Lucien watched his back with a glare but relaxed once he was gone. He turned back to me, concern and a hint of worry was clear in his remaining eye.  
Quietly he came over and sat beside me, a soft groan came from him. He leaned back on his hand and propped a leg up, he was quite close to me but that closeness comforted me.  
"What brings you here?" I asked, slightly leaning towards him.  
"I wanted to drop in and see how you were going." He replied.  
"Ah," I licked my lips a little, "I've been alright. Nothing exciting has happened since the last we met."  
"Nothing?" The scepticism in his voice made me look up, he was staring at me, his metal eye clicked as it focused on my face.  
"Nothing," I said confidently, giving him a smile that didn't feel right.  
He gave a short laugh and looked back at the fire, "I can tell when someone is lying, you know."  
"Excuse me?" I blinked and sat up straighter as I glared at him, "How can you say that."  
He frowned and his features softened, there was no judgement in his expression.  
Only kindness and patience.  
I sighed and stayed silent for a bit before I spoke up, "I said something really bad and I got what I deserved, I guess."  
"What was it that you said?" He asked.  
I fidgeted, guilt rising in me. "The morning started fine. We went for breakfast, my group, and Danika mentioned her party. And I guess Bat was having none of it and told her how she should be grateful for what she got and brought up her... deceased friend and how we should move the party to another day." I sat up more, twisting the rings I wore on my fingers. "Danika doesn't like being talked rudely to and she got upset and left. Bat even had the nerve to ask me who I lost."  
Lucien listened intently, his face indecipherable.  
I continued, "Then Cecilia asked where was Nate and I said he was at work, Bat made a comment about it and almost called me a whore." I choked out the last word. "And I couldn't hold back my words and called her one as well." I still remembered how triumphant I felt when I said it to her, how... good it was.  
And I hated myself for it. Cursed myself about it.  
Lucien was still, not saying a word. His brows furrowed slightly, "And what did you mean by you deserved what you got?"  
"Well, Bat lashed out and told me to die... Her power exploded and I was knocked back into the water." I left out the part where half my face was covered in ice.  
"What?" The air seemed to grow warmer and I turned to see that territorial flames dancing in his russet eye. His hair seemed to be ablaze like wildfire.  
"I got what I deserved, Lucien. I shouldn't have said what I said." I was in total awe by the power that came from him. There was a slight glow to his golden skin, like the sun simmered beneath it. I couldn't help it and reach out to touch his scarred cheek, his throat bobbed as I brushed my thumb along his cheek.  
"You didn't get hurt, right? Physically I mean." His voice was low, his eyes now half closed as he leaned into the touch.  
"I didn't. I did get wet though." We both smiled.  
"You want to um... spend the day with me?"  
I was taken aback by the question but a smile bloomed on my face, "Sure, it would be nice."  
He got up and held out a hand for me, I took it and he pulled me to my feet. Before we left the shop I grabbed a small bag that had my carving items inside.  
We headed to the street and as we passed the shop I saw Cecilia watching me. She smiled at me and waved, I returned the gesture.  
"So, what do you have planned for our day together?" I asked as we walked side by side, mere inches apart.  
"I didn't really plan ahead." He laughed, rubbing the back of his head.  
"Oh well, that smart, Lu." I bumped his arm with mine.  
"Lu? Is that a new nickname?"  
"It is now," I grinned.  
"I don't mind it. I'll call you Vi then." He said proudly, a playfulness vibe came from him.  
"Alright, Lu," I smiled all the way to the house.  
From the outside, it seemed small. The house was a pearly colour with bright yellow window frames that had planter boxes along the window sill.  
"You should plant something in those," I said as I followed him up the short stone pathway.  
"One day I'll get to it." He said as he opened the door.  
"Which means it won't happen. You are missing out on some great creativity." I scoffed as I stepped into the warm house. Again that lovely smell of wood fire and cinnamon filled my nostrils.  
I hadn't really paid much attention to the interior of his house. But it was almost like his room. Rugged and Autumn Court feel. Soft browns and bursts of red and oranges that were expressed in the wallpaper and the furniture.  
As he headed into the kitchen, which I very clearly remember what had happened in there, I went to the room across it. It was almost like a living room.  
Plush couches sat before a dark fireplace, a large mirror was above it and along the mantle was little figurines and an old looking dagger on display in the middle.  
The heavy red drapes were pulled back to allow the warm sunlight to filter in.  
I turned to gape at the floor to ceiling bookshelves lined with many, many titles of various genres. The book lover in me came alive as I scanned the spines, sometimes pulling a book out to read it and putting it back and continued. There was even a ladder to be able to reach the top.  
"Do you like my collection?"  
I jumped when Lucien spoke beside me, I growled, "Don't sneak up on me like that!"  
He laughed, "Sorry, you were in such awe I didn't want to ruin it."  
"Well, you did anyway." I punched his shoulder lightly, then crossed my eyes, my bottom lip jutting out.  
He cooed, "Upset Vi is so cute." He pinched my cheek before he held up his arms from my onslaught of slaps.  
"Shut it!" But I was laughing and he was as well, this beautiful feeling erupted in me and I felt so light and... bright.  
I found myself on the floor, wiping away my tears and catching my breath. "Oh, gods... Why did I laugh so hard..." I gasped.  
Lucien sat beside me, grinning like a madman, "Because you find the smallest of things hilarious?"  
I raised my brows, "That, is actually true. But not in this case, no." I shook my head, leaning my head back.  
"Just felt like laughing?"  
I nodded.  
"Hmm... Oh, I want to clear some things up with you."  
I faced him, "Like what?"  
"Uhh... yesterday morning... I want to apologise for what I did to you. I-I didn't want to- I don't know what had come over me. And I promise you I'm not like that, I swear." He said in almost one breath.  
I blinked, I hadn't really thought so much about what had happened. "I... It's fine. I believe you won't do that again...?" He nodded his head furiously, "Well, then I forgive you. Let's just keep it in the past."  
He seemed like he was holding his breath and sighed, "Okay. Good. Thank you. I was so worried I might've ruined our friendship." He ran a hand through his hair, a few strands coming loose from his tied back hair.  
"You didn't, so don't fret too much." This time, I pinched his cheek.  
We both got up, “So,” I started, “Shall I sneak around your house or will I have you to accompany me?”  
“You can sneak, but that will be impossible since I’ll find you easily. It’s not a big house.” He slipped his hands in his pants pocket.  
I raised a brow, “Let’s play hide and seek.”  
“What?” He looked confused.  
“Hide and seek. Do you not know what that is?” I crossed my arms.  
“No I do- Why would we play that?”  
I started to back up, smirking, "Because it's fun." I turned and ran up the stairs.  
“Vi!” He cried as I heard his footsteps follow after me.  
I found a room and snuck in, I looked around quickly and hid behind the curtain. I tucked my wings in tightly and stayed as still as possible.  
“Vi, come on,” He drawled out, his voice echoing up from the hallway before I heard the door to the room I was in open. “I know you’re in here.”  
I could hear the smile in his voice, his steps were soft as he searched the room. I knew he could pick up my scent.  
I felt something tickle my shoulder and I turned to see a spider had crawled on me. I let out a scream and flung the curtains and slammed into Lucien.  
“Get it off!” I cried as he gripped my arms, “Oh gods get it off get it off get it off!”  
“Hold still!” He was laughing and I tried my best to compose myself as I watched him put his hand under the spider and carried it to the window. He opened it and set the spider in the flower pot.  
He turned to me with a big grin, “So much for me finding you, chicken.”  
“Shut up!” I pouted and huffed, brushing myself off in case there was more. “That was a big spider.”  
“It wasn’t that big,” he boasted, “Innocent little thing. It must’ve had a fright by your scream.” He frowned, a bit dramatic. “Just wanted to get by.”  
I rolled my eyes and kicked him in the shin and then ran out of the room. I felt totally childish for some reason.  
“Hey! Get back here!” He ran after me down the hall.  
I laughed as we chased each other around, back and forth, around tables and couches. It was exhilarating, fun.  
After the morning joy, we moved to the backyard and laid down on a blanket under a tree. Lucien had even cut up some fruits, cheeses, biscuits and made tea for the both of us.  
“You have a lot of energy,” Lucien mused, he had changed into a white shirt that did little to nothing hiding that magnificent body.  
“I know,” I replied. I kept my eyes trained on the orange leaves above, yet I was so tempted to look. “It's been bottled up for the past weeks.”  
“Been busy?” He asked.  
I nodded, “Yeah. Danika’s party is a big deal, we all want it right and perfect for her. And on top of that, business at the shop has gone up and a demand for products is in need.”  
“That… sounds stressful.” He gave me an apologetic smile.  
“Do you work?” I asked, turning to look at him. A small gasp came from me as I admired the male beside me. He had unbound his hair and it was much longer than I had expected.  
“I do,” A sly smile started to creep across his face, “I work at one of the three big libraries here. And sometimes help with training.”  
“Training?” I popped a blueberry in my mouth.  
“Like, fighting. It was my idea and Feyre liked it, so I found an unused warehouse and turned it into like a school for anyone who wants to learn how to fight.” He explained.  
“That’s nice,” I licked my fingers from the raspberry I finished eating.  
“Uh… Y-Yeah.” Lucien stuttered.  
I gave him a questioning look, “What?” I sucked on my fingertips and made a sound at the sweet taste of the juice.  
His expression changed, he looked haunted and almost on the verge of tears.  
"Hey..." I moved the plates and cups away and came closer. He winced and leaned away, "Lu... I'm not going to hurt you." I held out my hand to him, worried for whatever had crossed his mind to make him so afraid.  
He looked at my hand, our fingers laced and I gave a gentle, supportive squeeze. He then wrapped his arms around me and laid his head on my chest.  
I gasped softly but slid my arms around him. I figured he needed someone to hold onto and allowed him to have that solace. I didn't move, thinking that all he needed was this.  
He reached out and dragged his fingers along the silver feathers of my wing.  
I sucked in a breath as his fingers trailed higher, then he pulled back to admire the substance.  
"What is it?" He asked softly.  
I moved so I was leaning against the tree, he was curled beside me but was still hugging me. "Well, it's kind of like a healing element. Feyre had tested it."  
"Does it heal old wounds?"  
I was taken aback by the question, opening my mouth to reply but he cut me off, "Sorry. Fuck. Sorry, I-" He got up suddenly, his warmth running away with him.  
"Lucien." I called as I got to my feet and grabbed his hand before he truly escaped from me, "Hey. Hey." I said softly, cupping his cheek.  
He looked into my eyes, his eye watering a little before a tear slid down his cheek.  
What had triggered his turmoil? I could feel the anguish and the old wounds he mentioned. Something dark and painful had plagued him for a long while. And there was shame amongst it.  
"Whatever it is, Lu," I gently wiped away his tears, "And even though our friendship is in the early stages, I am here for you. You can talk to me and I won't ever judge you."  
His throat bobbed and he smiled, placing his hands over mine, "Thank you, Vi. I appreciate that." He pressed a kiss to my forehead before he pulled me against his body.  
I wrapped my arms around his waist and felt a slight buzz in me, "Anything for you," I murmured.  
"Want to go back and eat the rest of the fruits?" He asked.  
"Sure, even though I was mostly eating them."  
He laughed but didn't make a move to let go. We stood there in each other's arms, waiting for one or the other to let go.  
I clear my throat, a smile on my face, "You do know if you want to eat the fruit, you must let me go."  
"Oh yeah," He stepped back, rubbing the back of his head and headed to the blanket and laid down. He stretched out his arm, his expression was an invitation for me to lay beside him.  
When I just stared at him, I felt that familiar mental tug and my body responded to it. I snuggled down next to him, my head on his chest.  
I could hear his heartbeat, a little fast than normal actually.  
“Tell me about your friends.” He said, his other hand resting over mine that was splayed on his chest.  
“Hmm… Well, Saleem, his family was rich. He had two younger brothers…  
“Had?” Lucien cocked his head to the side.  
“He lost his family when Hybern had attacked Adriata. He came here to Velaris to seek refuge and protection.”  
“Has he gone back?” Lucien asked, frowning.  
“No. He can’t bring himself to, so we never asked him again. He occupies his day's tutoring”  
Lucien nodded.  
“Bat, or Bathsheba, comes from a wealthy Merchant Family. Her father works with Kallias closely for trade and all that. She has a younger sister who is a bit… egotistical. She cares about herself more than anything else. Her sister had lashed out when they were children, and Bat has retained that scar since then. She doesn't talk about what she does here, no one asks.” I chewed on the inside of my cheek, “Danika lived in a remote town in the Summer Court, clustered near cliffs along the ocean. Though her father was from the Dawn Court so she has some healing abilities and works with some skilled healers in Velaris. She's the only one among the healers with blue hair. Oh well, I mean like in her group.”  
“Wait, blue hair?” Lucien’s eyebrows rose.  
“You know her?” I asked.  
“Yeah. She came in yesterday to heal some kids who scuffed their knees. She’s super sweet and very energetic.”  
I felt a pang of jealousy ripple through me. “Oh, she is. Even in the morning, she's bouncing around. Unlike me, I like sleeping in.” I giggled, trying to push away the feeling.  
“She invited me to her birthday as well. Will you be there?” He asked.  
“Hmm,” I gave it some thought, “I don't know…”  
He pouted, it was the cutest thing I had ever seen, “But she is your friend…?”  
“She is. Of course, I'm going silly, I’ve been organising it.” I pinched his stomach a little.  
“Yeah, I knew that.” He rolls his eyes and scoffs.  
“Cutie.” I murmured and moved closer to his body.  
“Cutie? I'm cute?” His arm under my head moves to wrap around my shoulders.  
I blushed, “Uh, yeah. You are.” I looked up and saw his cheeks were a rosy colour. I poked his cheeks, "Blushing!"  
He battered my hands away and looked the other direction, he let out a sigh, "Anyways," He drawled out, half smiling.  
"Anyways. More about my friends... The Twins, both came from the Court of Nightmares, or as known as the Hewn City. As much as I find them annoying, they trust me, especially Fade. What they've been through... I honestly don't know how they pulled through. They are pretty old as well." I chuckled.  
"How old?"  
"Close to millennia. Fade only being like a minute older, apparently." I remembered how the pair argued over it, I just called them grumpy old men.  
"A millennia!? How did you meet them?" Lucien gasped softly, in total shock.  
"Uh, in a club I guess. They flirted with me but I shut them down and they found it amusing." I gave a light shrug.  
"Right. That's... amazing. I've never met anyone over the age of five hundred." He shook his head, clearly still awe-struck.  
"Baby." I cooed and made a kissy face.  
"Says you. How old are you?" He poked just near my heart and I jumped.  
"It's rude to ask a lady how old she is!" I sat up and moved so I was half on top of him.  
"Sorry, sorry. I apologise, my lady." He mocked and I laughed.  
"I'm almost a hundred and eighty. Happy?"  
He gave me a wolfish grin, "You are a baby." His hand was splayed on my back, just beneath my wings.  
I sighed, "Insufferable." I rolled my eyes but his smile was addicting and found myself matching him.  
We met each other's gaze, our smiles wavering slightly.  
"Um... Anyways. So Cecilia is-" I coughed.  
"Yes, I know who Cecilia is. She is... mated to my brother, Eris." Lucien intervened, tracing my knuckles with a finger.  
"Eris is your brother?" I would have never guessed Lucien was related to him. There was subtle similarities but Lucien... Lucien was brighter. His fire that burned within him was not an angry red but a scintillating gold much like a sunrise.  
"Well," his fingers moved to my wrist, "He... I only found out about this sometime after the War. He's my half-brother. I was approached by my mother and she told me... the truth." He turned my hand so the inside of my wrist was facing up. He idly traced shapes along the soft skin.  
"I see." The roughness of his fingertips sent a prickling tremor up my nerves.  
"Still, it- it just... I'm still in a shock. But I've grown to accept it into my life." His grip was light on my forearm.  
"I'm glad. That's a good thing, Lu," I smiled encouragingly.  
Relief washed through him, "You didn't ask who my father is."  
I fiddled with the string on his shirt, twirling it around my finger, "Didn't think it was appropriate."  
"Helion is my father. My true father."  
"So that's why you got all weird when I mentioned him," I said softly. I stared at him closely, and not only the light that settled in him, but his skin colour was much darker than the Autumn Court residents.  
He nods, "Growing up, I... knew I was different. Physically, yes. I was the youngest of the seven, always picked on, always pushed aside, the last to know."  
The misfortune was visible on his handsome face. He sighed, "Sorry. I don't mean to bore you with my past."  
I blinked and shook my head, "N-No. It's fine. If you need someone-"  
"I know," his smile chased away that pain. But I could still feel it, "I've got you. But I don't think- I don't think I'm ready to divulge into that part of my life. Not yet."  
"Whenever you're ready, Lu." I began to get up but his arms wrapped around me and I was pulled against his body.  
"Why are you moving? It's comfortable like this," He frowns.  
"Ah, I need to head home." I copied his facial expression.  
"Is it because I rambled? I'm sorry, I pro-"  
I placed a finger to his lips, "It's not that. I need to pack."  
"Pack?" I saw the slight panic in his eye, "Where are you going?"  
"To the Day Court. I am invited by Lord Mablevi to attend the interment of his daughter." I explained. I found Lucien's worry charming.  
"Ah," His arms eased around me, "That seems nice. Does he wish to make amends with you?"  
"I don't know, but I believe so. Azriel hasn't come to me again since that day so I feel Lord Mablevi had said something to him." I removed myself from his arms and stretched my arms above my head. The jumper I wore rode up to reveal the flat planes of my stomach, and as I looked down Lucien's eyes were staring at the soft skin.  
"I'll be back by tomorrow evening I hope," I added, bringing his attention back to my face.  
"You hope?" He followed each movement as I sat up.  
"Well, I don't know when to leave. I leave when I am told to." I got to my feet and placed my hands on my hips as I looked down at him.  
He got up as well, fixing his shirt, "I'll miss you."  
My cheeks heated, "It's only a day I'll be gone."  
"I know, I know. I just... Spending today with you makes me want to do it again tomorrow." He let out a quick sigh, shifting on his feet like he was shy.  
"Oh," I managed to swallow, "Well we do get that extra day before the party to spend time together. Why not we uh... go for lunch or something?" I asked, reaching up to tug my ear.  
"Are you asking me out on a date?" He teased, his smirk appearing again.  
"It's just a little outing, you butt." I pinched his arm and he yelped.  
"Uh-huh, yeah, outing." He tugged on my hair before we both headed back inside, taking the little picnic items with us.  
He walked me to the door, "You want me to walk you home?"  
"No. Um. No, it's fine." I replied.  
"Okay. Well, I hope you have a safe trip and see you soon, yeah?" He opened the door for me.  
I turned to him, "Thanks. Hey, that day when I stayed here... I didn't mean to blow at you like that. It was just a frustrating morning with everything-"  
"It's okay. I was being pushy," He shakes his head slightly and smiled.  
That fluttering feeling appeared in my stomach again, "So... We're okay?"  
"Mhm," he opened his arms and I stepped into them, my own going around his waist. He was at least a head taller than me, just coming under his chin.  
I rest my head on his chest and his arms closed around me. Lucien kissed my head and we both stepped back, his hands running down my arms.  
"Stay safe, Vi." He said and I nodded.  
"I will." I gave his hand a light squeeze before I turned and headed down to the pathway. I looked back once and waved at him as I walked away, feeling jubilant and light.  
I skipped along the pathway, humming softly. With the morning turbulence, spending time with Lucien had erased all the aches and pain in my body. My soul.  
I figured the day court power in him somehow soothed me, his touch and hold had utterly comforted me.  
I liked Lucien. I liked him a lot, and I looked forward to what the future would hold for us even if Nate puffed out his chest.  
Thinking about him I heard powerful wing beats behind me and felt dread start to pool in my stomach.  
I did not want Nate to ruin my mood but as I turned I saw Azriel walk towards me.  
I relaxed at the sight of my best friend and was gathered in his arms, the shadowsinger buried his face in the crook of my neck as his shadows found their home in my hair.  
My power buzzed at the sweet, cool kiss of his power that brushed my body.  
"Az," I murmured as I inhaled the musky scent of metal and a hint of snow and blueberries.  
"Viv," He pulled back enough to look into my eyes, shadows curling behind his ears, "I came as soon as possible. How are you?"  
I moved my hands up his armoured chest, resting on his shoulders, "I'm fine. Cecilia tended to me-"  
"You got hurt?" His eyes widen as his arms tightened around me.  
"It was just a bit of frost coating my cheek. Nothing life-threatening," I patted his cheek and smiled softly.  
He reposed just a bit but didn't let me go, "Bathsheba has been subdued. She is resting up at the House of Wind."  
I nodded, "Oh good. I must apologise to her soon, I stepped out of line." I ran my fingers along the scaled armour.  
"She was also in the wrong as well, she is lucky you did not lash out back at her."  
I knew what he meant. My power was unleashed and any small trigger could make it explode, and I wasn't sure what the hell it would be.  
"The water had cooled me down, Saleem jumped after and helped me out," I explained.  
"Fade told me what had happened. I'm just glad no one got seriously hurt." He cupped my cheek, inspecting the skin.  
"Since Bat is asleep, how will I attend the mourning at Lord Mablevi’s estate?" I asked, linking my arm in his as we walked to my home.  
"Rhys will take you. I am glad you are going, it would make the tension lessen." He said.  
"I'm guessing you had some part in convincing the Lord?" I met his gentle eyes.  
"A little. I believe forgiveness is the key to moving on, and Lord Mablevi wants that. He isn't a hateful man, nor can he hold onto grudges for long." Azriel replied, the corners of his mouth lifting a little.  
"Thank you. I don't think I could live on with the feeling of someone hating me for the death of their beloved daughter." I said softly, looking ahead. Women watched Azriel with bashful eyes, giggling behind gloved hands, or webbed hands.  
“I don’t think he hates you,” Azriel frowned.  
“Well, the way you explained it to me…” I trailed off, thinking back to when he said he had to deal with the ‘angry people’.  
“Well, it was before I had told him what had happened. And now he reconsiders and wishes to make amends.” He stopped walking and looked down at me. “I didn’t mean to come off rude and harsh then, I was to stay formal and deal with the problem under Rhys’ commands.”  
“Understandable. But I am glad we are moving on together and finding solitude.” I squeezed his arm a little and we kept walking.  
“With that out of the way,” He said, “Have you considered training or some sort?”  
I grumbled, “Way to make the mood drop. No, I haven’t really. Been too busy with things to even stop and think about it.” I still remember what my friends had said about me and the fear that came from them.  
“But would you like to train?” He asked.  
“Maybe. I don’t know.” I was tempted to tell him what I had done while I was asleep.  
Azriel sensed my thoughts, “What is it?”  
“Um, yesterday, when I had fallen asleep. I think my magic spiked and I was… out of my body. Like I was standing beside the bed and I could see my sleeping form.”  
“Could you move around? What did you feel?” Azriel watched me, his attention alert and ignoring the cooeeing ladies.  
“I could! I moved between walls and I felt so light. Like I didn't feel any weight on my shoulders. I couldn’t hear properly but if I concentrated on the source of the sound then it's clear. It was so weird when I went through a door, my body broke apart then reformed… It’s hard to explain.” I said.  
Azriel looked thoughtful, “That’s almost like how I able to hear and feel with my shadows. But you moved physically and out of your body. I’ve never heard about such power before. Especially with another Shadowsinger.”  
I spotted the excitement in his eyes, I grinned, “It was really cool. And I had control over it, and it felt like it belonged to me.”  
He nodded, “Good. That’s really good.” He looked at me proudly. “Does that mean you want to train?”  
I glowered at him, “Maybe. I’ll see next week.” I smiled, a promise lined with it.  
“Good. I just don’t want you to get seriously hurt, I… I care about you.” The last words were said under a whisper as if he was anxious for someone overhearing.  
“I know, Az,” I stood in front of him, holding his hands, “I'll take your word for it.” I hugged him tight before we walked up the street in silence.  
As I opened the gate to the estate, Azriel said, “I’ll come back in two hours with Rhys. Be ready by then.” With that, he shot into the sky.  
I walked up to the doors and came inside. The smell of pancakes greeted me and my mouth watered. I followed the smell to the kitchen to find Danika attempting to cook the batter.  
I quietly came in and looked at the pan, “The batter is too thick.” I said.  
She jumped and the pan almost fell out of her grip, “How can you move so quietly? I didn’t even sense you.” She stuck her tongue out at me.  
“Sorry, you looked so concentrated on what you were doing I didn’t want to break that.” I leaned on the counter and picked up the thick pancake and munched on it.  
“Well you did break my concentration, and now this is burnt.” She pouts as she places the half evenly cooked half black pancake on the pile.  
“It’ll still taste good.” I laugh softly, “A bit of crunch to it,” I added.  
She rolled her eyes at my statement, “How was the morning?”  
“Oh uh, it… It got a bit rocky. Bat said something, then I said something and it made her mad, and I was thrown back into the water by her magic.” I half smiled.  
“Are you alright?” She blinked, looking me over.  
“Yeah, I didn’t get hurt. Just wet. Az and Cassian came to take Bat away, right now she’s asleep up at the House of Wind.” I replied as I took another pancake and slathered on some plum jam.  
"Ah, okay." I could see she was still upset over what happened.  
"I want you to know that I'm here for you, okay? Anything, I'll do my best to achieve it."  
Danika gave me a small smile but clearly was grateful, "Thanks, Vivie. I love you." She hugged me and I returned it.  
"I love you too. I'll leave you to cooking. I'll be in my room." I headed up to the second level.  
I packed little, folding a thick, woollen lined gown made of black silk. I added another one but it was an emerald green and gold. Among the clothing, I added my carving bag.  
I knew emotional support would be needed, but I wanted to create something for Galatia to take with her to the Afterworld.  
I took a quick shower, dried my hair and walked out while braiding my hair.  
Nate was lounging back against the headboard, eyes closed which now opened and focused on my bare body. "Silvy," He smiled.  
He had a nasty black eye and I gasped, "What happened?" I finished the braid and straddled his lap, cupping his face.  
He gave a soft chuckle, "I'm fine, it'll heal up in a few days."  
I scowled, "Who did it?"  
"Just someone in my group, we got into a brawl." He placed his hands on my hips.  
"Did you win?" I run my fingers through his hair, liking the silkiness of the strands.  
"Of course I did," He pulled out a ring from his pocket.  
I gasped. The rock was a beautifully carved ruby, surrounded by little diamonds. "It's astonishing," I whispered as I slipped it on my right hand.  
"I won that for you," He said, admiring my expression.  
"Oh, Nate!" I hugged him tightly, "I love you. Thank you."  
He grinned, "Anything for you, Silvy." He kissed me deeply, our bodies pressed together.  
The kiss was passionate and long, we savoured each other taste but I had to do the painful move of pulling away.  
He pouted, "Why did you do that? I was enjoying it."  
"I have to get dressed," I whined, tilting my head back as he pressed soft kisses along the column of my throat.  
"Where are you going?" His hands moved up my spine and stopped just under my wings.  
"I am going to give my respect to Lord Mablevi and his daughter." I arched slightly into the touch.  
"Oh." He pulled back enough to look into my eyes, "How will you get there?"  
"Rhys will take me. I'll be back tomorrow evening." I tucked a strand of his hair behind his ear.  
"And when will he get here?" His fingers brushed the base of my wings and I couldn't help but moan.  
"Little less than two hours," His smirk grew and he ran his hands along my feathers.  
"We can squeeze in a quick session," He purred before he latched onto my neck.  
I did not object as he laid me down and his clothing had found their way to the floor. Our bodies came together and our voices filled the room.  
The bliss ended with a knock at the door, "Hey Vivie, Rhys and Azriel are here." Danika called.  
Nate groaned, "Do you have to go?" He looked at me.  
I peeled myself away from him, "Yes I do." I poked his bare chest and quickly cleaned up and got dressed.  
I buttoned up the heavy gown I used whenever I went on for long rides during winter. Nate helped with my buttons for my wings and got dressed in trousers and a loose shirt.  
I grabbed my leather gloves and my bag, heading down with Nate behind me.  
Az was staring up at a painting in the foyer, hands clasped behind him. Rhys was leaning against the wall, clad in his usual Night Court garb. A dark blue tunic with silver embellishments with the Night Court sigil over his left breast.  
Rhys looked over and smiled, "Hello, Viviana. You look well." His smirk told me he could scent Nate on me and I blushed.  
"You do as well," I clutched my bag.  
"Let me take that," Rhys took the bag from me before I turned to Nate who still didn't look pleased.  
"Don't be so sour, it's only one day." I pulled him close and kissed him deeply.  
"I'll miss you." He said as he stepped back, rubbing my arm.  
I smiled and turned back to Rhys, Azriel watching me closely.  
"If you wish to come home early, just ask Lord Mablevi," Az said, giving me a hug.  
I appreciated that he had come to see me off, "Of course. Thanks again." I squeezed his arm.  
"Shall we go, Miss Viviana?" Rhys asked.  
"Yes we can," I stepped to him and he lifted me up in his arms. It felt weird being in the High Lord's arms, it felt like an honour.  
I gave a little wave to the two Illyrians who watched as we disappeared. I sent a little silent farewell to the sky for Lucien, hoping he wouldn't miss me much.  
Rhys appeared at the estate, right in the middle of the grand foyer. The foyer was like a tower in a way, beautiful stone carvings of winged people sat proudly above us. The dome was entirely made of glass and the afternoon sun reflected off the crystal chandelier.  
I looked around, it was mostly cream and gold walls, patterned to look like exotic birds with fanned out tails and curled crests.  
Rhys set me down, the floor entirely made of ivory marble, speckles of crystals in it.  
"Ah, you came." A deep voice got my attention and I looked over to see a man who was quite tall and well built by the look of his broad shoulders and the exposed chest of honey coloured skin. He wore a floor-length robe of the deepest red, black swirls along the lapels and the cuffs. His black hair was short cropped and a gold wreath sat snuggly on his head.  
He had a rugged look and a crooked nose, yet he was still devastatingly gorgeous like all High Fae. I met his grey eyes, I felt so insignificant under that steely gaze that I had to look away.  
"Hello, Lord Mablevi, Lady Mablevi." The woman who stood beside him looked quite young. Much younger. Her dark brown hair came in soft waves around her waist, her dark skin had white patches making like someone had painted her. She wore a simple light purple gown, flowing open sleeves and a thin gold belt around a narrow waist.  
Her light purple-grey eyes were downcast; the veil on her head obscured her placid face.  
"Please, just call me Jacobus. This is my wife, Salali. Welcome to our home." Jacobus gave a light smile, I looked up and saw the grief in his eyes.  
"Thank you for letting me come." I returned the small smile.  
The Lord looked at Rhys and they both shook hands, "It's nice to see you again, High Lord Rhysand. How have you been?"  
"I have been well, thank you. My deep condolences for your loss, Lord Mablevi." Rhys said formally but with a bit of gentleness.  
"Thank you, I appreciate your kindness." Jacobus flicked his gaze to me once but focused on Rhys once again.  
"Well, I shall leave you with Miss Viviana. I am happy you have invited her to your home."  
Jacobus nodded, "I understand that the key to mending a sorrowful heart, is to make peace. And that is with Viviana."  
I picked up on the darkness that swirled in those wise eyes. I looked away quickly, feeling my skin prick.  
Instead, I turned to Rhys and hugged him quick, he returned it and gave me a smile before he was gone.  
“My wife will take you to your room, dinner will be served in a few hours.” Jacobus gave Salali a nudge with his arm and she sprung to life and hurried to pick up my bags.  
“Oh no, I’ll take them.” I hastily grabbed my stuff, or whatever was left as the woman hauled the bag up the stairs.  
I frowned, “Thank you, again,” I said to the Lord before I hurried after Salali. I caught up with the woman, trying to match her fast pace.  
It was as if she was rushing, and was already panting a little. I was so unfit, I thought sullenly.  
I caught glimpses of what laid outside. A lush green garden that seemed to stretch on forever. Every bush and tree were tailored and cut with not a single branch sticking out.  
I bumped into Salali, I didn’t even notice her stopping since I was so caught up with how… perfect the garden was.  
She didn’t even budge or turned to me, she just unlocked the door and stepped inside and left my bag beside a chair.  
I blinked as I stepped in. It was a grand room, curtains hung from the archways that lead to the balcony that overlooked the garden.  
The colour theme was also within the room, rich gold ceilings with decorative floral patterns. Cream wallpaper lined the entire room, pale silver swirls shimmered in the darkening light.  
The floor was dark mahogany, carpet laid beneath plush couches gathered before a roaring fire. There was a large study desk before the open archways, an uncomfortable looking chair behind it.  
I turned to say thanks but Salali had left the room quietly. I frowned at the odd disappearance but picked up my bag and headed towards the bedroom.  
The four-poster bed was not as big like at home but enough for my wings. I unpacked the items in the bag until I heard a knock at the door.  
I closed the doors to the wardrobe and went to answer the door. A young woman, no older than eighteen, stood with a tray of cakes and a kettle of steaming tea which I picked up was lemon and honey.  
“Hello,” I said cheerily, stepping back to let her in. The woman bowed her head and curtsied, coming in. Her simple white gown hissed softly along the polished floors.  
“I will be your servant until you leave, Lady Viviana,” She said as she set the tray down on the table, the wilting flowers seem to lift up from her presence.  
“And what is your name?” I asked as I closed the door and came over to the table.  
“My name is Ualda, Lady Viviana.” She said softly as she poured the tea in a cup.  
“Just call me Viv. No ‘lady’ before it,” I quickly said before she could rephrase.  
“Of course, La- Sorry. Viv.” She bowed her head.  
“And no need to bow, either. Just smile.” I took the cup from her hands and sipped at it, groaning at the warm taste.  
“Would you like a bath, Viv?” Ualda asked.  
I considered it. “No, thank you. I'll have it after dinner."  
Ualda nodded and waited for further commands. I sighed, "You may leave. I have it under control here." I gave her an encouraging smile.  
She hesitated. As if this had never happened before, a guest dismissing a servant.  
"Please," I added when she didn't move, "I want to be alone."  
Reluctant, she nodded, bowed and left the room in silence. I pursed my lips and went to the balcony, inhaling the fresh air. I braced my arms on the white railing and stared at the rolling green gardens.  
I envisioned a beautiful girl with dark skin, white markings splattered across her face and arms, black hair whipping wildly as she ran through the gardens. Her smile was broad, her bright yellow gown flowing around her.  
“Catch me, mama!” She squealed. Salali’s smile matched her daughters, chasing her through the garden before picking her up and twirling with her. She pressed a kiss to her cheek.  
“I caught you!” She said, light blooming around them in shapes of butterflies. Galatia giggled and reached out to them, awe shinning in her eyes.  
“I love you!” She hugged her mother tightly, her face buried in the crook of the woman’s neck.  
“I love you too, my little sunshine.” Salali murmured as she held her daughter fiercely.  
I smiled at the memory, the scene before me fading away. I blinked and felt my magic retreat back into me.  
I hadn’t even realised it was my own doing… I shook my head, my skin prickling. I yawned a little, feeling instantly tired. I gazed up at the sky, I had a few hours until dinner... I could slip in a quick nap.  
I didn't bother changing as I collapsed on the bed, sleep claiming me almost instantly.

 

* * *

 

I waited in the bathroom, watching Ualda prepare the tub. 

The bathroom was as grand as the bedroom. High walls with gold accents and trimmings of intricate patterns. The ceiling was breathtaking, it was entirely painted with colourful flowers.  
Feyre would like that, I thought as I began to undress. Ualda helped with the heavy garment, now wrinkled since I had slept in it, unbuttoning near my wings before I stepped out of it. I eyed the steaming water eagerly, stepping up a step before sinking into the hot water.  
A groan of satisfaction released from me as I settled on the built-in seat, closing my eyes. I rested for a bit before I began to wash.  
My thoughts started to drift to the recent events before Lucien occupied the rest of the space. My heart started to beat fast, the memory of that morning I saw him with that towel around his waist... The muscled body and the bronze skin, leading down to that fine red trail line and the slight outline of him.  
I sucked in a breath and I realised whose eyes I was looking through.  
Lucien's eyes. Mismatched ones. One utter darkness the other...  
I recognised it to be his own room, and he was walking around. He seemed restless and pent up by the way he had his hands bunched up and the mumbling he made.  
I felt– his blood was like magma, the heat hit me and I couldn't help but let a small moan emit from my actual body.  
Lucien growled and he tugged off his shirt, then turned to his bed. I saw in the mirror he passed his cheeks flushed and his jaw clenched tight.  
I wondered what had made him like this?  
The bed was soft under my– his back as he stared up at the ceiling.  
"Gods," He murmured, his voice deep and rough. I felt my body react to the sensual sound, oh how would it feel against my skin...  
"Fuck..." he said to the gloom, "I need you." He moaned. What was I witnessing? I couldn't think when he looked down his body.  
There was a huge bulge in his pants, his hand stroking himself.  
Oh, gods.  
Oh, gods.  
Oh, my _fucking gods_! He was– My body arched as his own did as well, the pleasure was like a shock to my system. But in a good way. A very, good way.  
I tried to get out of his mind, I felt like I was intruding his private time. But what he felt crossed over to me and I found myself whispering his name.  
Just as he said mine, "Viviana."  
I really needed to get out. This– This, what he was doing– I felt the desire he had for me. A primal need to claim me.  
"Viv," He groaned as his fingers fumbled with the buttons. I watched those long fingers swiftly pop the buttons, and wondered how good they would feel deep within me. Pushing against the bud that was throbbing painfully.  
His gaze returned to the ceiling, and I whimpered when he refused to stare at what was now in his hand.  
It wasn't my name on his lips that made me cry out in fervour, it was the thoughts that he conjured up.  
Mother above, _Lucien_!  
He shot up into a sitting position, panting hard as his eyes drifted down to his hand pumping himself–  
I felt my conscience be thrown out, like a door being slammed shut. I started as I opened my own eyes and glanced around the room quickly.  
I was alone.  
My only company was the flower painting above me. And the soft drip of the water. Every part of me was screaming for a release, for him to hoist me out of the water and feast on me–  
I cursed myself for even thinking such things. What the hell was wrong with me?! I got out of the bathtub, I looked down at my hands and gasped when I saw my skin all wrinkled.  
I was gonna be late for dinner! I hastily dried up, wrapping the towel around me as I dashed out and skidded to a halt as Ualda came in carrying a tray of food and steaming tea.  
"Is that for me?" I asked, dread sitting in my stomach.  
"It is, Lady Viviana. I brought it up to you-"  
"Did I miss dinner?" I asked, my shoulders slumping.  
"You did. But Lord Jacobus and Lady Salali weren't expecting you to come. They asked me to bring the tray up." She said, setting it on the low table before the burning fire.  
I frowned, "Gods. I should go apologise..."  
Ualda only offered me a smile as I came over and sat.  
The rich spices from the roast chicken and baked potatoes made my mouth water. I hadn't realised how hungry I was until the colourful plate of food teased my senses.  
I finished the plate quickly and downed the tea.  
Even as my hunger was sated, the other part of me wasn't. I told Ualda to leave and tend to me in the morning.  
I pulled on my nightdress, then went to the large bed. I let my shadows blow out the candles as I settled into the pillows.  
With what I witnessed during the bathtub, I had to tend to my own needs. I summoned my shadows to help out as I didn't hesitate to let my mind show me what Lucien had thought.  
And gods was I eager to moan his name.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Viv attends the funeral of Galatia and experiences some humiliation set up by Lord Mablevi. Later that night, hell is unleashed on the Mablevi Manor and Lucien comes in and saves Viviana.  
> The following day Viv recovers but unfolds some interesting information about herself which is seriously daunting and crazy to even have...  
> It ends with Viv and Lucien getting much closer...

Lord Jacobus' house was lively despite the ceremony held not too long ago. The priestess that came was lovely and her words had brought me to tears.  
The woman was close with Galatia, I could tell with the way she had so emotionally talked about her.  
And because Jacobus treated her with warmth and care.  
I stayed out of their way the entire time, silently helping with the servants prepare the table early in the morning.  
Even now, standing beside a pillar in the grand hall, I looked around to see for anything for me to do.  
The morning sun streaked through the wall of glass windows, reflecting off the massive chandeliers that hung high on the ceiling which looked the same as my bathroom but this time it depicted the gods and goddesses that were worshipped here in the house.  
My focused went back to the people that milled about. Instead of the usual black garb that mourning days usually called for, the hall was vibrant. Ualda instructed me to wear something bright, to honour Galatia.  
I had chosen a mint coloured gown. Beaded lace overlayed the sweetheart cut bodice, reaching up to my neck and down to my wrists. It flowed down the soft silk, that cut at my waist, like roots. The back was open, enough so my wings were not disrupting the lace.  
My hair was pulled up in a tight high bun with a few curls sitting at my temples, showing off my pointed ears which were adorned with silver ear cuffs with thin crystal ropes that was donated to me by Ualda.  
Right now, I was scrunching up the silk in my hands, I felt highly awkward just standing here. I looked around and spotted Ualda fixing the table of food and went to her.  
The woman looked up and smiled, "Lady Viviana, hello," She continued her cleaning the table.  
"Hi," I replied, "Um, I'm going to head to the temple to... Give my prayers," I said. I had no idea why I even said it to her like anyone would care where I went.  
Ualda nodded, "That is nice, I'll see you soon."  
With that, I turned and headed out. I walked through the grand glass doors that lead to the sweeping sandstone stairs that lead into the perfectly manicured garden.  
I gave small smiles to anyone who looked my way but only received a cold shoulder.  
I sighed but kept walking, the sounds of chatter fading in the mist that still clung to the estate. I reached the massive pond with the temple situated in the middle, atop an island that was surrounded by weeping willows.  
I crossed the wooden bridge and swore I could hear the trees crying for the loss of a bright soul.  
The temple saw better days, moss coating the narrow spires and the many statues that lined the flat roof above the arching doorway, where two guards in golden armour were stationed.  
Above the archway in the alcoves were two winged females, one clutching a book to her chest, the other a blooming flower raised above her head.  
I didn't know who the two goddesses were, but I believed one was about literature and the other flora.  
I could be wrong.  
I slipped through, the hallway no bigger to fit two people at a time, and again had small alcoves with candles lit within. My steps made no sound as I entered the small chamber that had rows upon rows of stone pews that seemed to have been carved out from the rock.  
Above were wooden chandeliers with faelight clinging to the curved tips, letting out a soft blue glow in the gloom.  
Ahead, at the very end was a tree that was grown within the temple, the dome above had cut-out windows to allow the sunlight in. I spotted glowing orbs around the tree, which looked ancient by the look of the worn bark.  
And before it, on a raised altar was Galatia's body. As I neared, the girl was dressed in a gown entirely made of vines and leaves, gold blooming roses peppered the strapless bodice all the way down to the end of the skirts. Covering her body was a white veil, to protect her from the evil spirits, Ualda had told me.  
I stared at her peaceful face, trying to understand how I had seen a monster.  
Tears sprung up in my eyes, my shadows curling around my shoulders. "I'm sorry," I finally said, "I am so, so deeply sorry for what I have done to you."  
I reached out and took her hand through the veil, cringing at how cold and stiff it was. "It has haunted my dreams since that day, even throughout the daylight hours. I don't think I can forgive myself even if your family has. Please," My broken whisper nothing more than the cool wind that snaked through the high windows above me, "I hope you can forgive me as well, that I would never ever do this to any innocent. Understand that I will make it up to your family. To Bathsheba especially." The tears now flowed down my cheeks, my shadows writhing in response.  
My hands were shaking as my veins heated a little, then subsided as I let her hand go. I looked up to the sun streaks, closing my eyes, "I pray to The Mother that she is caring for you in a meadow of flowers. May you live on forever and ever, Galatia."  
I had moved back to the pew and sat there for some time, lost in my own thoughts. I had cried the entire time, the weight of the recent events weighing down on me.  
I stopped when I heard two voices coming from the entrance and quickly wiped away at my tears and stood. Two women, one dressed in a stunning red gown that hugged her petite build, the other in a teal gown entirely covered in gemstones in the same colour.  
I hurried down the aisle, keeping my head down to hide my red eyes and tear streaked cheeks. The women paid no attention which I was thankful for and stumbled out to the bridge.  
I gripped the edge on one of the short pillars and took in a deep breath of cool air. The guard murmured at my teary state and I shook off the feeling of mockery as I headed back up to the manor.  
By then I had somewhat recovered and headed right to the table that was freshly piled with more food. After a good cry, I usually got hungry.  
My plate was stockpiled with the cakes, some people giving me strange looks. I didn't care, I was so, so, so hungry.  
As I went to take another, a dark-skinned hand gripped my wrist and made me set the cake down.  
I looked up and glared at the male who dared refused my- I gasped, "High Lord Helion!"  
He gave me a half smile and cocked his head to the side, silky dark hair brushing his cheek, "Miss Viviana. I believe what you have on your plate is enough." A low chuckle came from him.  
I pouted and looked at my tower of cakes, it wasn't enough. "But the cakes are good." I tried but he shook his head.  
"There's plenty, come back for seconds if you are so hungry." He plucked one from my cake and popped it into his mouth.  
The High Lord wore his usual white garb that wrapped around him, a gold belt around his waist, exposing the muscular chest and those ungodly muscled thighs.  
I understood fully now where Lucien had gotten those delicious traits from.  
I snorted at the fact and ate a cake, "So, did you come over here to eat my cakes and make me territorial over them?" I cocked an eyebrow as I gazed sidelong at him.  
He rolled his eyes, "Yes, and I wanted to start a fight." He teased, "No, I came here to see how you were going."  
I turned and looked at him, "Oh?" I blinked at his reply.  
He nodded, "Mhm. So, how are you?"  
"I could be better but I'm holding on," I admitted that much, the mere thought made my eyes water.  
"It'll be okay," His touch was warm on my arm, almost comforting when Lucien hugged me. I felt his magic slip beneath my skin, filling me with that beautiful warm light the High Lord was graced with.  
It chased that growing darkness with me, settling in my core like a bird on a nest.  
My shoulders relaxed and I smiled, "Thank you, I feel better."  
He patted my shoulder, "Anything for my son's-"  
"Lady Viviana," Ualda appeared through the crowd, cutting off the High Lord. She flushed and bowed, "Apologies, High Lord, but Lord Mablevi wants Lady Viviana to talk before the people."  
I stuttered, "W-What?" I had no speech planned or had no idea what to even say.  
"Oh, of course. Goodluck," Helion smiled, a few girls nearby gushing at the sight as he took my plate, reaching out and wiping off crumbs around my lips before I was taken away by Ualda.  
I gave him a pleading look to help but he only winked at me and was gone.  
"Ualda, I have nothing prepared-" I stopped when she nudged me to the stairs that lead to the stage. People were slowly hushing.  
"Go," she urged as some eyes began to turn to me.  
"Gods," I muttered as I stepped up to the stage and shuffled to the middle.  
Anxiety built up at all the eyes on me. Waiting for some pretentious excuse to my crimes.  
I gulped, "Good morning all," I started, "I am Viviana Lucetta." I let out a shaky breath, holding my hands before me to hide my tremor. "With what I have been told, Galatia was a beautiful girl. So full of life and joy," A few nods in the crowd, "I understand that most of you here gathered, may despise me. Hate me for what I have done."  
"So you do confess?" One woman at the front, who I recognised to be the aunt of Galatia, spoke behind a cloth, "You confess you murdered my niece?" Her stark blue eyes wide with wrath.  
"N-No, I-I didn't," I stumbled over my words, "I-It was a mistake. Please," I could see the growing disgust and hatred be fueled even more.  
"But you just said it," She continued, "And my damned sister allowed a filth like you to enter this home!"  
I winced at the anger thrown at me, murmurs began to spread through the crowd.  
"I didn't mean it," I pleaded, "I did not see her! I saw something else!"  
" _Liar_!" Another man, which was the uncle, cried out, "You are a liar! There is proof of your actions!"  
People began to spit out curses, was this to humiliate me? I looked over and saw Lord Mablevi give me that same, repugnant look when I first came here. His wife just stared blankly at nothing.  
I was searching the crowd for Helion, sending out a plea for him to appear. It was as if he had disappeared.  
To leave me up here to be mocked and hated. Tears slipped down my cheeks, and to make things worse I saw four guards push through the crowd and stood before the stage, two taking either side and walking up the stage to me.  
"Lady Viviana Lucetta, you are under suspicion for a brutal attack at the Temple," One announced.  
The aunt and uncle gasped, "See!" The hag cried, sobbing as her husband held her close.  
"What?!" I choked, "I did no such thing- Hey! Let me go!" One of the guards gripped my arms and held them behind me.  
"You are to stay quiet as a search on your body is required under Lord Mablevi's word." The same man spoke.  
"I give no consent!" I struggled with the iron grip. Lord Mablevi was speaking lowly to another guard, then looked up.  
"Search the woman," He said.  
The second guard on the stage with me began to feel over my body against my wishes, his hand brushed over the Illyrian dagger I had strapped to my thigh under the gown.  
"Bitch," He muttered as he began to lift up my gown.  
I let out a growl and brought up my leg and kicked him as hard as I could, right between his legs.  
He cried out and clutched himself as he doubled over, the guard holding me now put me in a chokehold.  
"Let go of her!" Helion's voice was like a crack of light in the dark void, light blazing from his fingertips as that sun crown appeared on his head.  
The guard immediately released me and fell to his knees, as well as the crowd.  
I hugged myself, crying softly. The High Lord stalked up the stage, trailed by what seemed his personal guard since they were dressed in finer armour took up guard around the stage.  
Helion cupped my face, his thumbs brushing my tears away, "Are you okay?" He asked in a gentle tone.  
"Y-Yes, yes I-I am." I sobbed as he pulled me into his body. I held back tears as I heard Lord Mablevi's voice.  
"I apologise if I am rude, High Lord, but how can you touch such a foul thing?"  
"She is not a 'foul thing', Jacobus." Helion spat the Lord's name with such venom, I felt the sting of it. "And you will treat her as a guest, not a killer. You are denouncing your family's name like this."  
Helions arms did not falter around me, shielding me almost. I looked up finally to see the Lord and Lady on their knees, heads bowed.  
_Good_ , I thought bitterly, _bow down_.  
"I am sorry, High Lord-"  
"Not sorry to me, to Miss Viviana. She deserves it." He stepped back but kept an arm around my waist.  
Lord Mablevi raised his head to gaze at me, "I am sorry," But I sensed no honesty behind it.  
"I don't need it from a horrible man like you," I said sternly, trying to keep my voice steady.  
Helion squeezed my side in satisfaction, "I will look into this matter myself, I do not need your grieving emotions to cloud your judgement." He guided me down the stage, two guards took their spot before us and walked us through the crowd, two behind us.  
We did not say a single word, even after the door to his room closed behind us. A silent order for me to head to the bathroom and change into the already supplied nightdress that had come from my room to here.  
As I came out I saw he had pulled back the sheets on his bed, he was waiting beside it.  
"Helion," I whispered, "I-I shouldn't stay-"  
"Stay. Your room is being looked at thoroughly as we speak." I met his eyes and saw the slight horror and shock in them.  
I came to the bed and got in, he pulled the sheets around me and I gazed up at him. "What did you see?" I asked.  
"Nothing a lady should ever see." He said as he sat on the bed, one had in his lap, the other holding my hand.  
"I've seen worse," I said, remembering the creature at Nate's apartment.  
Helion took a moment, "The women," He said, "Lady Clara and Lady Alexandra were both... Skinned. From the neck down. Eyes gouged out."  
I gasped, a memory of long ago flashed in my eyes and I sat upright. "Anything else?" I asked, a little panicky.  
He squeezed my hand, meeting my gaze, "Staked to the tree." He added.  
My heart sunk and my head spun, exactly like that night- oh gods.  
"Viviana," Helion cupped my face, making me look at him, "I will not let anything happen to you." There was a feral look in his eyes, that burning light intense with the need to protect.  
I nodded a little, my thoughts jumbled as memories of that dark time was rising fast.  
"Calm, please," Light swarmed around us, not enough to blind me but to settle me.  
"H-Helion," I whispered, "What of Galatia?" I asked as my head reached the pillow.  
"Why do you wish to know?" He asked gently, the light stroking my arms, my forehead.  
"Just tell me." My voice was a mere echo.  
"Her body was not there. Someone had removed it either before the tragedy or after."  
My eyes were heavy, "Helion," I said again.  
"I won't let them hurt you or get to you." His lips pressed to my forehead. "I will return."  
The light stayed and cocooned me, I realised it was an actual barrier as it lulled me into a sleep that my body greatly welcomed.  
But my thoughts chased away the niceties, the stormy night plagued me as the image of my mother, skinned, eyes gouged out and staked to the wall of the hut, stared down at me as I screamed.

 

* * *

 

 My own scream wasn't the sound that woke me.  
But someone else’s filled with fear.  
I got out of the bed, wearing the nightdress, grabbing my dagger from under my pillow and stumbled out of the room still half asleep.  
"Please!" It was a males cry, "Please don't!"  
I recognised it to be Lord Mablevi's voice, what was going on? I had no idea before I came to the room, the door had been broken down like some animal had come crashing through.  
"Oh gods, please spare me! I haven't done anything wrong!" He pleaded, but with who?  
I came in and gasped at the state of the room. It was a mess, the furniture upturned and torn to shreds.  
I followed the bloody footprints to the adjoining bedroom and then felt that... unearthly vibe.  
"Why," an unknown voice, so rough and guttural I couldn't tell what gender, came from the bedroom, "Why should I listen to an inadequate man like you?"  
I got into a low crouch, slowly creeping towards the bedroom and dodging the glass on the floor.  
"Because I am your father, Galatia! I love-" A choking sound followed by a thump, then a gasp.  
"You do not! Not when you first thrust into me!" Galatia, or whatever it was, screamed.  
"P-Please..." Lord Mablevi begged.  
I came to the door and blinked at the scene before me. On the white sheets of the bed, lay Salali. Unfocused eyes staring at nothing while one of the posters from the bed was through her chest.  
On the floor, Lord Mablevi was leaning against the wall, bleeding badly from his head and a deep wound on his side.  
And standing before him was indeed Galatia.  
But not exactly her.  
She wore the gown I had seen her in, but she was exactly that hideous monster I encountered in Nates loft.  
Lord Mablevi looked at him, and curse him for the creature followed his gaze and stared at me with those eyeless sockets.  
Its panting wheeze erupted from its throat, roaches spilling out from its jawless mouth.  
I gagged and stood, holding the dagger before me. I tried to form words, but only a strange gasp came from me.  
"Heh," The creature rasped, "The silver bird has returned. What a delight."  
That darkness within me stirred, curling around the light that had remained from Helion. Where the fuck was he anyway?!  
"What do you want?" I finally asked, my feet firmly planted on the floor as it now fully faced me.  
"Well, first I want to kill my father and the rest of my disgusting family. Second, to take a bite from you finally." The creature turned to Lord Mablevi who whimpered.  
"No," I stepped forward, "You lay a hand on him, gods above I'll-"  
"You'll what? Stop me?" It laughed mockingly, a scratchy gurgling sound, "You have no idea how to fight, silver bird."  
It flicked its webbed hand and my wrist took a sharp turn before it snapped. I screamed and dropped the blade before an invisible force slammed me against the wall.  
I grunted at the impact and my pinned wings. "Please, don't do this. L-Lets talk it through. Just-" I coughed as water filled my lungs.  
"Shut up, whore. There isn't anything to talk about." It turned away from me, facing Lord Mablevi again.  
I struggled but my body was at a complete mercy to the magic holding me, the water in my lungs wasn't even there but whatever manipulation the creature had was strong to create that illusion.  
It had snuffed out the rolling darkness as if it knew how to scare it away.  
I tried and tried to call to that power, not even my shadows responding. I looked to my broken wrist, willing the nerves there to somewhat respond.  
The pain was so bad but I saw a flicker of darkness at my nonresponsive fingertips.  
I looked back to where the creature grabbed Lord Mablevi's throat, lifting him up against the wall, a long grey tongue falling out of the gaping hole and licked his face.  
"Tasty," it crooned, Lord Mablevi sobbing now.  
I willed that wisp of darkness to come back, begging to the Mother to help me. To aid me. Please, I sent a prayer up.  
And as if She had heard me, a good chunk of shadows emerged from my hand. It grew and grew to a thick tendril, waiting for a command.  
Lord Mablevi started to scream, I gave the command to the tendril and it shot out to the creature.  
It wrapped around its neck, yanking it back before it could sink those snake-like fangs deeper into Lord Mablevi's neck.  
Blood sprayed as the skin was torn open, the creature shrieked in outrage as it stumbled back.  
The magic holding me faltered but I was still unable to get free. I willed for that shadow to come back.  
"You _bitch_! You will now die!" The creature whirled to me and was upon me, the stench was eye-watering.  
It grabbed my shoulders and began to slam me hard against the wall, over and over.  
The wind was knocked out of me and the bitter-sweet of unconsciousness was starting to claim me.  
"No!" A cry, but not from this room, but from afar. The scent of burning wood met my nostrils, the comforting heat that had warmed my heart. "No!" His voice was the fire that came alive in me instantly.  
My eyes snapped open as I stared into Death, fangs dripping with poison. The numbness came first, then the electric shook as those fangs were deep in my shoulder.  
I screamed and thrashed, kicking as hard as I could which sent the creature flying back.  
I fell to my knees, clutching my shoulder as I crawled to my dagger. I had to end the creature before the poison could take over my nervous system.  
I forced myself to my feet, shaking badly as I was thrown back hard. I crashed into the next room, skidding on the floor. Glass and splinters cutting into my back and wings.  
The pain in my body was unbearable but the fire kept me going. I had to keep fighting, I had to.  
The creature pounced on me, reaching up to slash across my throat. "Die!" It screamed.  
The fire caught alight in its hand before it wended down its arm and encompassed its body.  
Unnatural screams rattled through it as it stumbled off me and thrashed around.  
I turned and saw Lucien standing there, palms facing to the sky at his sides.  
And utter rage was in his eyes.  
" _How dare you_ ," He growled as he fed the fire.  
The creature kept screaming and waving its arms before it started to regain its bearings and was charging at Lucien.  
He tried to intensify the fire but he was tackled through the doorway and into the hallway.  
The fire winked out and he was now struggling with the creature. It was insanely strong.  
It screamed strange words as it tore into his shirt, red slashes bloomed on his chest.  
I saw the same oozing poison on its talons and saw how quickly it worked on Lucien. He was growing weaker by the second.  
And I had moments to react.  
Lord Mablevi had crawled to the doorway to the bedroom and slid my dagger to me.  
I grabbed it and got up, fighting the weakness as I unleashed a cry before I threw myself on the creature and began to stab it.  
Over.  
And over.  
And over.  
I let every instinct take over before I pulled it off Lucien and slammed my foot on its chest. I didn't even gag as my foot went clean through and met with rotting slush inside.  
It screamed but I brought the dagger down into its empty sockets and with whatever strength the Mother gave me, tore its head off its body.  
I stared at the monster then its head falling out of my hands.  
I looked at Lucien who was pale, however, he came here, and it had cost him greatly.  
He gave me a weak smile before his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he went limp, his chest barely rising.  
I felt my body strain and go stiff as the poison had finally slipped into my nerves and I toppled over Lucien.  
All I remember was thundering feet and the blazing light of Helion.

 

* * *

 

 Cruel, sinister and lethal.  
Ancient darkness curled and hissed as it slithered along my body, tasting my skin and muttering softly.  
“ _You have come across one of my renegade spies_ ,” That familiar, cool voice echoed around me, “ _She has tasted you. Soiled you with her poison_ ,” The voice growled.  
“ _But you killed her. No one has managed to kill them in a long while_ ,” The so-called ‘King’ whispered behind me. “ _But your mother did. When I had kept her in a cell for not obeying my command, I sent one after her. To see her how she’d react_.” He laughed. “ _She had killed it swiftly but had gained a good bite from it. I think soiling oneself runs in the family, no?_ ”  
I could feel the King’s cold hands run down my arms, sending painful sparks through me. He kept touching me, but never below the waist or near my chest.  
As if he was admiring whatever he saw that I couldn’t.  
“ _I’ve managed to find a loophole, and I’ll be here to claim you, my love. Soon, oh so soon._ ” Claw tipped fingers brushed my cheek, then a thumb over my lips.  
The touch sent shivers down my spine, my body reacting to it in a way I would never react to a thing like him.  
I hated myself for it.  
“ _Always so ready_ ,” He purred, hand resting on my chest, “ _I shall take you while your home and friends burn alive, and I’ll make you scream until you are a limp carcass in my arms_ ,” He finished.  
Tears streamed down my face as the shifting darkness moved above me, his face consisted of two eyes and a toothy grin.  
“ _You are mine_ ,” His lips met mine.  
The air was sucked out of me and a light was shinning before my closed eyelids. I felt softness underneath me, my head propped up by a pillow.  
Slowly, I opened my eyes.  
I was greeted by a wall of glass that had a gorgeous courtyard, a water fountain with a naked woman holding a pot that spilt clear water into the basin. In each corner was ferns and palms, blooming birds of paradise, hibiscus, amaryllis and bromeliad.  
Pretty little hummingbirds buzzed back and forth, before heading up through the open roof.  
My gaze drifted closer to my surroundings, noting the white material screens that divided the beds.  
Until my eyes befell a sleeping Lucien in a chair beside my bed. He was still pale but seemed to be okay. His white shirt exposed the bandaged chest, a bit of red leaking through.  
As if he knew, his eyes opened and held my gaze. One of burning russet, the other liquid metal gold.  
The only sound that filled the bland white room was the bubbling of the fountain and the humming of bird wings.  
We just... Stared.  
Assessing each other and scouring for any further wounds.  
He was the first to speak, his voice barely a hoarse whisper, "I thought I had lost you," He sat up slowly, muscled arms straining as if he was still weak.  
Tears sprung up in my eyes, "I thought I had lost you too," I swung my legs over the edge of the bed, noting the limited feeling to my wings but I didn't care right now.  
I needed to breathe him in.  
He was up on his feet and between my legs, holding me back, "Don't move, your wounds still need to heal."  
"I want to hug you. I want to hold you and never let go." A sob escaped me as I slipped my arms around his waist and laid my head on his chest, being careful of his wound.  
"Oh Vi," His arms came around me, shaking fingers gripping my shoulders.  
I felt his tears fall into my hair, a slight tremble in his body like he was holding back.  
"Lu I was so scared," I admitted, "Gods was I scared shitless." I pulled back to gaze into that caring expression.  
A slight smile tugged at his lips, "But you managed." He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, fingers tracing the shell of my ear.  
"Barely," I reached up and featherlight touched his chest, "Thank you."  
He placed his other hand over mine, over his heart where I felt it beat. Strong and healthy.  
"For what?" He asked, cupping my cheek.  
"For saving me," I breathed, my eyes fluttering shut as I savoured the warmth that came from him.  
"You don't need to thank me. It's what... friends are for." He leaned down and kissed my forehead.  
"How'd you know? How'd you even have the knowledge I was in danger?" I watched as he pulled the chair over and sat before me, holding both my hands in my lap.  
"Helion. My father sent word to come, he had been attacked and- I came as soon as possible." His fingers laced with mine.  
"Is he okay?" I asked, worry now etched into my voice.  
"Peachy. He had been manipulated and put into a sleep just after he sent the note." He said.  
I blinked, yet it didn't seem like his story was... honest. I simply nodded, "And you? Are you okay? With the way that- that thing did to you."  
He sat back, considering it, "I'm okay. The poison has almost left my system. The healers struggled to battle with it, it was unknown to their books so they had tested numerous tonics and salves. They had to cut open a vein to try and get the sludge out of my bloodstream." He lifted the sleeve of his shirt to reveal a bandage that covered from his wrist to his elbow.  
"Oh, Lucien... Gods, I-I'm sorry. I brought this on so many innocent people. I-" A sob broke through me.  
Lucien cupped my face, "Hey, no. No, you didn't. This was a monster that wanted to hurt, not because you had brought it here."  
I looked into his remaining eye, seeing that fire flicker to life. "It-It came back. It was what I had seen back at the loft, it was the same thing."  
He only nodded. He didn't question my statement, he squeezed my hands, "Then I will protect you if another returns. I will sacrifice my life to make sure you see another sunrise, another Starfall."  
My eyes widen at his words, "No. Don't waste your life on me, I don't deserve it. If I die, I die."  
"Shut up," Lucien growled, "Do not _ever_  say that. You are- are worth an infinite of lives. You deserve _every_ ounce of happiness, love, care. I want to be able to offer that to you."  
My heart skipped a beat, his words had been forged into my heart. And I would remember them forever.  
"Offer? Lu, you know I'm-" I stuttered.  
"Yes, I know. But can't I love you as a friend? Can't I make you laugh? Can't I be by your side?" He asked a flash of hurt danced over the fire.  
"Of course, of course." I reached out and brushed a knuckle over his cheek. "You are unbelievable," I whispered, smiling wide which made his eyes widen slightly.  
"Good or bad?" He asked, his smile matching mine.  
"Good. Very good. Thank you for everything you have done for me the past few days." We pressed foreheads to each other, this... strange love crossing between us, bringing us closer.  
Our eyes met.  
The promise evident but there was something else as well.  
“Vi…” He mumbled, his lips mere inches from mine.  
Just friends? A voice in my head asked me, “Just friends.” I murmured as his lips brushed along mine.  
A gasp escaped me as I leaned forward-  
“Oh!” A young woman’s voice tore us apart, Lucien falling back into the chair with a grunt.  
“I-I am so sorry.” Her cheeks going a rosy red, “I didn’t m-mean t-to interrupt.”  
“You didn’t interrupt,” I said softly, my hands balled up on my thighs, my body singing.  
“Okay… I uh, I came to change Lord Lucien’s bandages.” She said, “And to give you a tonic to take for the next following weeks.” She explained.  
I nodded in reply.  
“Could Lord Lucien come with me to his bed?” She asked as she looked at him.  
I looked over and saw he was staring at me, “Could I stay here?” He asked the woman.  
“If Lady Vi-”  
“I don’t mind,” I cut her off as I got off the bed slowly, slipping on the fluffy shoes I was provided to keep the cold floor at bay.  
Lucien stood and took my spot on the bed, “I need help with taking off my shirt,” He mused.  
The woman set down the vials and went to move to him but I held up a hand, “I got it.” I waved her away from him as he grinned.  
“So bossy.” He chuckled, lifting his arms slightly.  
I scowled and slowly tugged off his shirt, a grunt coming from him as I yanked it over his head.  
“I’m injured, you need to be kinder.” He pouted.  
“I’m injured to, dummy.” I stepped back, keeping my eyes trained on his face.  
“You are welcome to look, my body is amazing.” He crooned and I flipped him off.  
The healer started to pull off the bandages; I winced, as she had to give it a few sharp tugs since the material had gotten stuck on the wound. Yet I was on edge as she was so close to him.  
She discarded the bandages and I now looked. No, study him.  
The deep cuts, clearly five of them, stretched from his right shoulder down just under the muscled pectoral.  
I narrowed my eyes as she got a clean bandage and was about to put it on, I said, “Are you not going to clean the wound? It's infected.”  
She paused and looked at me then at his chest, “Oh Mother! Silly me!” She set the bandages down and started to create a mix.  
“Don’t worry, I have a better idea.” I shook my head, letting out a soft growl which made her wince.  
I first cleaned the skin around it, then grabbed a small jar and held it under one of the feathers from my wing. I willed the healing substance to drip, but I was slightly concerned about the lack of how much it came out. And how slowly it fell.  
After collecting enough, which seemed forever I raised a brow at a smirking Lucien.  
“What?” I asked as I took one of the antidotes on the trolley and mixed it with the silver liquid, eying it as it became thick.  
“Doctor Viviana has a nice ring to it.” He said and bit back a cry as I instantly applied the healing salve to the open wound.  
“A-A warning would be nice,” He grunted as his hands dug into the mattress.  
“Don’t be such a baby,” I said as I filled the wound with the thick jelly.  
“Do we put the bandage on now?” The healer asked gingerly.  
“No, we give this a minute to absorb the infected blood and then apply the salve appointed to him,” I said as I cleaned my hands and grabbed a pair of tweezers and a metal dish.  
“Oh, okay. Interesting.” She watched in awe as a minute passed and I peeled the salve off, satisfied at the now bright, bleeding red flesh. No longer dull and dead looking.  
I handed the woman the dish and took a tin, slipping on a glove before I popped the lid.  
Lucien was quiet the entire time, eyes focused on what I did, the gold one whirring and clicking like it was remembering every move and flex of my fingers.  
I applied the clear salve to his wound, taking the mesh from the woman and applied each strip over the wound, before placing a slightly thicker piece.  
“Hold it,” I told Lucien as I grabbed the wrapping bandage and went around his chest then over his right shoulder. He was so big I had to almost hug him, hearing a small chuckle reverberate through his chest as his arms circled around me and held me close.  
“Lucien!” I gasped, glad I had taped down the end of the bandage.  
“Shhh, don’t ruin the moment,” He said, chin resting on the top of my head.  
The healer had left, leaving us to be alone once again.  
“You are so weird,” I huffed, relishing his closeness and how… Good his body felt.  
“I know,” He rubbed the small of my back, causing me to arch. “I never asked how you are. How is your wrist?”  
I looked down and just noticed the bandage around it, “It seems fine. I can move it around.” I rolled my hand and flexed my fingers. “And everything else… Just tired. And hungry. But… Okay.” I pulled back to look up.  
“Really? That’s amazing.” Helion said arms crossed as he made an appearance, followed by High Lord Rhysand, High Lady Feyre and Azriel who watched me intently.  
I stepped away from Lucien, blushing bright red, “Hello.” I said, inclining my head.  
“You’ve recovered really well,” Rhys said handing me the tonic the healer had left for me.  
“I guess so,” I shrugged as I poured a drop of the blue liquid into my cup of water and drank. “How… Bad was it?” I asked.  
No one said a word.  
“Pretty bad, Viv,” Azriel was the one to speak up. “The poison had spread so fast through your body, it… It was almost impossible to heal you. The healers spent all night right through early morning. Its close to late afternoon now.”  
“Oh,” I blinked, setting my glass down, I looked at my wrist.  
“It was building up along your spinal cord,” Az had come to my side, “Right here.” His fingers brushed between my wings.  
Or did he?  
“Where?” I looked up at him, my brows furrowing.  
“Between your wings- The poison damaged the nerves…” He trailed off.  
I looked at my wings, I was still able to move them. “Touch them,” I said softly to him. “Touch my wings. I give permission.”  
Azriel nodded and dragged his hand along the bone, a moan escaped me as the touch sizzled in my core.  
“Okay… Okay…” I said breathless, blushing again. “I can feel them.”  
“The numbness near your wings will go away in a day or two,” Feyre said gently, “But like Azriel said, the nerve damage was great. We have to call in Thesan to heal that section of the spine.”  
I gulped, “So does that mean… I can’t fly?” I asked softly.  
“I don’t know. You may try once you have rested and healed.” Feyre said, giving me a sisterly smile.  
I nodded, looking up and meeting Lucien’s concerned gaze. I had noted he did not seem jealous or angry when Azriel had touched my wings but the tension in his shoulders seemed he didn’t like the male so close to me.  
I realised that Lord Mablevi had been hurt badly, so I asked, “And Lord Mablevi? How is he?”  
“He didn’t make it,” Helion’s turn to speak, “He had lost so much blood and by the time we got to him…”  
You caused this, you caused this pain, A dark laugh echoed in my thoughts and I found myself sitting in the chair, elbows on my knees and head in hands. A revelation had suddenly hit me.  
“I told you, Lucien.” I whispered, “I brought this on innocents.”  
Lucien was before me once again, his arms around me as he pulled me against his body, “Shhh Vi… Don’t blame yourself, please.” His pain broke his voice, not because of his wound, but he… he felt helpless to me.  
“I couldn’t-” A sob broke free before I felt my body be lifted and then settled in his lap as he now sat.  
“It was that monster, Viviana.” Rhys knelt before Lucien, he took my hand and squeezed it. “That monster came from some dark place. But you did not bring it here.”  
I looked up, Lucien handing me a tissue as I cleaned up my face, my sobbing faltering. “You don’t understand Rhys,” I whispered. “I-I did bring that monster here. I was the one that brought it back to life.”  
“What?” Lucien, Rhys and Azriel said in sync.  
“Impossible.” Feyre gaped.  
“Possible,” Helion nodded, “But the practice of bringing back the dead… It’s an ancient power that’s been forbidden in Prythian.”  
Lucien’s arms tightened around me, “What do you mean? You’re not going to kick her out, are you?” Weariness was in his voice.  
Helion shook his head, “No. Of course not.” He said.  
“Did you visit the Temple?” Rhys asked.  
“I did. I wanted to see Galatia…” I lean against Lucien, his forehead resting against my temple, his eyes closed. “I had grabbed her hand. And I felt a funny buzz that made my skin heat then it went away.”  
Rhys nodded, “Hm. I’ve met one woman who was able to bring the dead back. I asked her what it felt and she said it was euphoria of power. Burning black flames and filling the empty holes within a dead body, and she felt the ‘life’ return to it.”  
“My tomes tell me each user feels a different sensation, some feel the ‘brush of death’ or what you said, Rhys. Maybe Viv has a different style or reaction.” Helion countered.  
It still didn’t make me feel better. If I was able to bring back the dead… Gods above, the hell that would break loose. I’d be hunted down.  
“Is that woman alive? Rhys?” I asked. If she knew, maybe she was able to get rid of it.  
“She is. But she is hidden deep in the mountains of my territory. I have no idea where.” Rhys replied, “But I wouldn’t go seek her out. She’s almost as bad as the Weaver.”  
I clenched my teeth, “But… Is there maybe a way I could get rid of this power?”  
“Well, we don’t know if you can actually bring back someone, Viviana,” Feyre said.  
“But I did. Helion said everyone is different, they sense different things.” I said quickly. “I know I brought her back to life. It was the same damn creature that attacked me back at the Loft.”  
“Are-” Rhys began.  
“Yes, I am sure what I saw. It said the same thing to me.” I growled, baring my teeth.  
Rhys held my stare, violet eyes flashing. “Why don’t you or anyone believe me?” I added with the same bite, glaring at each person.  
“We do. We are just investigating-”  
“No.” I spoke up, Feyre shutting up, “You don’t. You know me. You _know_ I wouldn’t kill an innocent. I know what a live person looks compared to a _corpse_.” I was trembling with anger, Rhys stepping in front of Feyre as if to shield her from me.  
It pissed me off and I got to my feet, Lucien gripping my arms but I shook him off as I squared off with Rhys.  
“My entire life I have been nothing but truthful!” I cried, "And the man I look up to, who saved me, believes I am a _liar_!"  
"I didn't say you are a liar, Viviana." He said, "There isn't proof to show-"  
"Just stop," I said, shaking my head, "Couldn't you enter my mind? See for yourself?"  
"I did." He said, Feyre standing at his side.  
"And? What did you see?" I asked.  
"I saw nothing, there wasn't anything at all." Rhys slid his hand in Feyres.  
"Oh great." I ran my fingers through my hair, tugging on a few strands. "Fucking great." I turned away from him and braced both hands on the bed.  
"Viviana-" Rhys went to touch my shoulder but I gripped his wrist tightly, a growl, not mine ripped through my throat.  
Darkness curled dangerously, feeding off the disorder within me.  
_End him, just use that dagger and dig it into his heart, sweet Viviana,_ the Darkness purred sweetly.  
Rhys held my gaze with a steady calm, "Don't do what you are thinking." He said quietly. His eyes were intense, swirling starlight curled between his fingers.  
I stared at it, the Darkness pushing further against the weak shields I had pulled up.  
"Please..." I whispered, a painful headache started to pound, it felt like the Darkness was now wrapping around my throat and cutting off my airway. On top of that, my head felt like exploding.  
But Feyre was screaming at Rhys and shaking him.  
Lucien was being held back by Helion and Azriel managed to pull Rhys off me.  
Air rushed through my throat and I gasped for air and collapsed against the side of the bed, clutching my chest as I heaved.  
I tasted the metallic tang of blood on my lips as Lucien screamed for my name.  
I looked at everyone slowly, Feyre pushing Rhys away with the help of Azriel who kept glancing back at me.  
"Lu," I managed and he was with me instantly, an arm around my shoulders, his fingers under my chin and tilting my head up so he could look at me.  
"Oh, baby..." He whispered, clutching me to his chest like I was going to disappear.  
"The hell is in you," Rhys gasped, gripping onto Feyre, " _What_ are you!"  
"You tried to kill her!" Lucien snarled, the scent of fire in the air.  
"Rhys, please. Let's go. Don't make this worse." She was desperately tugging him away, Rhys still stared at me like I wasn't natural.  
Laughter echoed, See, you are not normal, sweet Viviana, they don't see that you are special.  
I whimpered as I pushed that voice out as hard as I could, burying my face into Lucien's neck, breathing in his scent.  
"I think we all need space and rest," Helion said, patting his son's shoulder.  
"He tried to kill her, Helion. Did you not see it?" Lucien's voice was strained, he was ready to destroy.  
"I did." He said, "Come on, let me take you away from here."  
Lucien nodded as the air grew warm and soft light surrounded us before I could hear waves like we were near the beach.  
"Where are we?" Lucien asked.  
"My private estate on the east coast," Helion mused. "You two can stay here as long as you want."  
I looked up and gasped a little at the room.  
The bedroom was massive and the balcony that leads down to the small sandy beach was entirely open archways with swaying white material. The walls were a sandy gold colour with accents cut like curling waves.  
The cover on the bed was water paint blue, but a variation of blues with polka dot blue pillows.  
Barely any gold, I had realised. It resembled more of the ocean theme with shells positioned above the bed to depict a crashing wave.  
The chandelier was entirely made of mother of pearl, with the same theme for the candelabras hung on the walls.  
"It's beautiful," I said, stepping away from Lucien.  
"It's a nice getaway, where I can gather myself through stressful times." Helion blushed lightly. "The kitchen is behind all this but this is pretty much the main room of the house."  
I smiled and walked to him, hugging him tightly, "Thank you for bringing us here."  
"Anything for my... Uh. family." He laughed lightly, patting my head, "I should let you two rest. Just send a message if you'd like a change of scenery."  
I nodded and waved as he left.  
I turned and headed out to the balcony, inhaling sharply. The sun was low but the air still warm despite a slight wind.  
"I haven't been on the coast for so long," Lucien said, coming to stand beside me, his eyes on the azure waters that rippled and reflected the golden sunlight.  
"What about Velaris? It's on the coast." I said, spotting a hammock strung between some trees, a perfect view of the ocean.  
"I meant this," he gestured to the sand and the waves. "I want to swim. Can I swim?" He asked looking at me, his grin childlike.  
I raised a brow, "With an open wound? No." I said, putting my hands on my hips.  
"I think its healed now." He patted his chest, not wincing at all.  
"I've got to check it first," I said shaking my head a little.  
"Check it so I can swim. With you, of course." I saw that cheeky light glitter in his eye.  
"You just wanna see me naked." I huffed as he took off his shirt, a small gasp coming from me as the sun danced along his skin, almost lighting him up like some sun god.  
"You've got a cute butt," He admitted and I flushed as I took off the bandages.  
He was correct. The salve had worked wonders and his skin was knitted together, leaving behind pale fresh scars.  
It made him even hotter alongside other scars that painted his glorious body.  
Was it bad I wished to feel him bare against my own body?  
"See," he unbuckled his pants, it fell around his ankles. I swear to gods he was going to give me a heart attack but lucky, unlucky, my thoughts seemed to say, he wore undershorts.  
That was too tight but defined the curve of his ass and the huge bulge.  
Gods, if he was that big unaroused...  
I looked away as he swaggered down the beach, "Are you coming?!" He called as he looked over his shoulder.  
"I've got nothing under this!" I yelled as he neared the water. I followed and savoured the sand between my toes.  
"Get in naked. I won't mind." He teased as he waltzed into the water then dived in.  
I crossed my arms and pouted.  
When he resurfaced... Mother save me as my core throbbed at the sight of his wet chest and hair that stuck to his back and face. The water slid down each valley of muscle, and I felt the brush of his power be unleashed.  
He was a god.  
A literal god as he ran his hand through his hair, his half grin as he looked up at me.  
Nate had looked hot when in the water... But this was better.  
This... This man that stumbled into my life so suddenly had captured a small part of me and held on. Imprinted me to him, to each other. This sweet relief with him was the pleasure I needed.  
What my soul had yearned and howled in delight.  
Lucien Vanserra who had somehow claimed me.  
_We are friends_ , I told myself as I watched him swim, dive and come back up.  
"Are you going to continue to gawk or will you join me?" He called.  
"I've got no spare clothes." I huffed.  
"I won't look. Please?" He pleaded, pouting a little.  
Was this what friends would do? Strip to almost bare, or bare in my case, and swim together? I could barely stand the thought of stripping before my own female friends.  
But then again... we were both alone miles away from any civilization. No one would know. Or find out.  
Long as I don't tell Nate... Then its good, yeah?  
"Close your eyes then," I waited until he turned away and even covered his eyes.  
I pulled off the white gown and threw it aside, then walked into the water and dived in quickly.  
I came back up and he was grinning like a madman, "What?" I asked as I stayed shoulder deep.  
"I actually got you to come in." He said as if it was a proud moment.  
"Oh? Do other females hesitate?" I asked coming closer to him.  
"Oh no they don't," He said. A pang of jealousy swept through me. "You just seemed very doubtful."  
"Yes, of course, I would be. You're practically naked and I'm completely naked, how else should I feel?" I scoffed.  
"Excited to be in the water with a hot male like me." He flashes a cocky grin and I punched him in the shoulder.  
"Bastard," I growled and felt my cheeks flush.  
"A hot bastard indeed, thank you." He laughed, a wonderful, booming sound.  
I opened my mouth to retort until something slimy slid past my leg. I let out a shrill of fright and latched myself to Lucien who stumbled back a little but caught me.  
" _Oh, my gods_! What the fuck was that!?" I cried wrapping my arms around his neck, his face awkwardly pressed against my chest.  
"Vi! Let go!" He was laughing as he tried to pry me off him, "Its just seaweed!" He reached underwater and lifted out the green leafy looking thing.  
But it wasn't seaweed but a sea snake.  
We both let out a cry and he threw it away before letting me go and together we scrambled out of the water and falling on the sand in a laughing mess.  
"You left me behind!" I said between a fit of laughter.  
"I did not!" He rolled on his back, clutching his stomach as tears shone in his eyes.  
"You let me go and ran!" I jumped on him, he held back my wrists and he just stared into my eyes.  
"I would never." He grinned, his eyes drifting down to my exposed chest.  
"Pervert!" I smacked him over the head and rolled off him, grabbing the gown I had discarded before. "Oh, my gods!" I stood to my feet, blushing from head to toe.  
"I did just have my face mushed between them when you jumped on me." He laughed as I whined and but couldn't help but grin widely.  
"I hate you," I said as I ran up the beach back to the house.  
"You got a nice ass!" He called. "Forgive me!" He drawled as his laugh chased me into the bathroom.  
After taking a good shower and washing out the sand, I emerged with a towel around my chest and saw Lucien holding up some lingerie with a see-through material which looked more like a super short dress.  
He dropped it when he looked at me, flushing red, "This appeared on the bed moments ago." He said quickly.  
I raised a brow as I came over and plucked the note from his hands and read it. I snorted loudly. "Your father wishes us a ' _safe intercourse'_."  
Lucien choked, "What?!" He grabbed the note and read it. "I'm gonna kick his ass." He said as he shook his head in disbelief then slowly looked at me. "Are you going to wear it?"  
"Well, it seemed he sent it to me. Unless it's for you... Then I'd be confused." I said as his throat bobbed.  
"Ah," his voice got softer, "Alright."  
"Is something wrong?" I giggled as I picked up the scandalous panties that came with it. I twirled it around my finger.  
"N-No. Definitely not. I'm going to have a shower." He hurried past me and closed the sliding door behind him.  
I slipped on the panties, it was a high waist piece but did expose most of my ass. I pulled on the top part, approving the comfortable fit of the bra and twirled a little and giggled as the material flowed around me.  
I jumped on the bed, resting on my side and waiting for him to come out.  
The door slid open and Lucien gaped at me. "You put it on," he said, voice a little rougher.  
"Oh yeah. Its super comfortable and fits me perfectly." I mused as I pushed myself up with an arm.  
"Mmm..." He nodded as he came to the bed looking at me from head to toe before he walked to the other side and got in.  
I turned to face him an arm under the pillow. "I could find something else to wear if it'll keep your friend down," I said softly, understanding the way his jaw was clenched and the heat in his eye.  
"No, it's fine. I can handle myself." He said pulling the sheets up to our waists.  
"Okay," I said smirking a little.  
Being a second time in bed with him was... strange. But a good strange. I had never been beside no other male other than Nate. But for some odd reason with Lucien, this, whatever was growing between us, it made the bed sharing differently. Like I knew when I would wake up Lucien would still be here.  
Nate had always left early in the morning for work, or I'd hope so since I had never found a note left behind.  
"Why you?" I asked softly.  
"Why me?" He asked, confused.  
"Why are you the one to have swept me off my feet? To come into my life and... I don't know. I-"  
"And make it better?" He finished the sentence. "I guess Fate is the one that brought us together." He said barely than a whisper.  
"Yeah." I smiled a little, picking up his last words, "I've... I've never done this before. Swim naked, hug, stay in the same bed..." I trailed off.  
"With another male because of your boyfriend," Lucien said, "Because of him you can't do the things that make you happy."  
"But I am happy." I said quickly, "I just- I can't do it in front of him."  
"It shouldn't matter whether he is with you or not. He should know you love him, he shouldn't feel jealous." Lucien countered, his expression serious.  
I knew this was dangerous grounds, "I know, I know. Can we not discuss this now? About him?"  
Lucien exhaled but said, "Okay. Sorry." He took my hand and held tight, not letting go. "I just... I do worry for you, Vi. I don't want you to get into the crossfire that's all."  
My heart fluttered, "I got it. Don't worry too much, alright? It'll show through your skin."  
He let out a sigh but smiled, "Lucky for you I got the amazing immortality skin. So no wrinkles for me."  
I stuck my tongue out at him before I snuggled a little closer, "I'm tired." I said, yawning.  
"Then sleep. That's why we are in bed. Unless you want to take up the offer of 'safe intercourse'." He grabbed my wrist before I could punch him.  
"It didn't say abuse your partner," He gasped.  
"Smartass." I pulled back my arm and nuzzled into the pillow, "Goodnight." I said.  
"Don't let the bed bugs bite. Or should I say, don't let the boner bite." He said.  
I growled and shut my eyes, feeling the bed shake as he moved to lay on is back.  
"Goodnight, Viviana," Lucien mumbled into the growing darkness around us.

 

* * *

 

A dark shadow had crossed the room, before forming at the end of the bed. Only a pair of eyes stared at the sleeping couple in bed.  
It was mad.  
Oh so mad.  
It curled its clawed hand into a fist, staring at the redhead male. It could drive a knife into his heart right now and end him before things get worse.  
Or the plan will be ruined.  
The shadow creature had to step up its game. It had to do something about them.  
It cursed itself for letting them get this far close before it shrunk away out into the midnight sky, great membranous wings carrying its shifting form.  
And began to plot.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Viv and Lucien have a heated morning together before they break away for a couple of hours. Viv spends time with Bat before the party begins with a... intense, fiery ending.

I swung slowly in the hammock, pushing myself with my foot, watching the seabirds fly across the calm ocean and dive into the water to catch their morning breakfast.  
I yawned a little, still tired from last night activities.  
Lucien had woken up from a nightmare, screaming and thrashing like he was being held down. I managed to wake him and he sobbed into my chest muttering 'Jesminda I'm sorry' over and over.  
I held him through the night and he had fallen asleep.  
The another had tortured him and he was begging someone to stop and to let him go, shoving me hard so I fell off the bed, growling ' _don't touch me_ '.  
I had no idea what to do since he was pent up and on the verge to attack anyone nearby. I simply sat on the bed and talked to him, explaining who I was until he opened his eyes and stared at me.  
"I'm sorry," He said, "I'm so sorry, Viviana." He got back into the bed and opened his arms, I crawled into them and hugged him tightly before we fell asleep.  
I sighed as I closed my eyes, seeing the deep cracks so deep within that beautiful cunning mind of his.  
It hurt me to see that his past had haunted him to this day. I wondered if he had these types of nightmares to a day to day basis and did he have anyone there for him?  
I knew he and Feyre were close, but I doubt he would spill his problems to her.  
"Viviana!" Lucien called to me from the balcony, "Breakfast is ready!"  
I got up and headed to the little set up he did, a table and two chairs. Two plates adorned with pancakes filled with a pumpkin filling and cream in a shape of a star and cinnamon sprinkled on top.  
"Looks so good," I gasped, as he pulled out a chair for me and I sat down.  
"Homemade recipe." He said as he took a spot across from me.  
"Really?" My eyes widen a little as I picked up the cup of steaming black tea.  
"Mhm. Mother used to make these only on my birthday and only for me. I... I didn't- never had good birthdays growing up and she'd always make it the best she could for me." He smiled softly, tiredness in his eyes.  
"I appreciate you for sharing this part of you with me, Lucien." I reached over and squeezed his hand. He smiled before he dug into the food.  
We both ate in silence, he occasionally paused and stared out at the ocean, becoming distant and lost in his own thoughts.  
I finished my plate and sat back in my chair, watching him. "Hey, Lucien."  
He blinked and slowly looked at me, coming out of his daze, "Yes?"  
I turned my cup, looking at the liquid, "My promise still holds, you can talk to me." I flicked my eyes up.  
He stared at the single flower in the jar in the middle of the table, silently mulling over whatever thoughts were going through his head.  
"Yeah. I remember that promise." He said, his voice lost all that brightness and cockiness from yesterday. "But last night... I... I don't think I'm ready to talk about it. Not yet."  
I nodded and placed my hand on the table, palm up, he looked at and placed his hand in mine. "That's okay, take your time. But don't leave it for too long, or it'll eat you away." I said, letting a few of my shadows to slip between his fingers.  
"You are the first person to... ask me about it. I mean like, picking up that there's something deeper." He said, a grateful smile breaking that veil of shadows that had crossed his features.  
"I've studied how to read people's body language and their expressions." I traced an old scar on his wrist.  
"Still," he laced his fingers in mine now, "I'm glad we met. That we are- friends. I'm glad I have you."  
I smiled shyly, "Anything for you, Lu," I squeezed his hand as I grabbed my cup with my other and took a sip at the hot liquid.  
"I dreamt of my first love, Jesminda." He said all of a sudden, his hand tightening around mine. "I dreamt of my brothers holding- holding me down." He gulped and inhaled deeply.  
"I could feel one of their knees pressing hard into my spine, my hands bound by fire."  
He pulled his hand back and showed both wrists to me, a faint scar right around. Like the fire had burned him.  
"My father stood not too far in front of me, holding her by the hair. She was already beaten bloody, sobbing through her teeth. Her beautiful skin... Reminded me so much of the colour of Fall. Her eyes the clearest green and hair chestnut brown. And she had these wings, resembled so much like great maple leaves. She was Lesser Fae, you see, so she had this... amazing beauty that no High Fae female could possess. Whenever she got excited, cracks appeared in her skin and blazed like the fire was alive under her skin. And gods... One word out of her mouth brought me to my knees."  
"She swept you right under your feet," I said softly, listening to him, never taking my eyes off him.  
"She did more than that. She captured my heart, she took my breath away whenever she smiled at me, she made my blood sing whenever she moved against me. She had entirely dominated my life. And all I saw was her and the life we were going to have." He reached for his tea and took a good gulp of it.  
"But my- my thought to be father, did not approve of my attraction to her. He threatened me one night about killing her, and I rushed to her to pack her things and run away." He shook his head, "My brothers caught me and dragged me to the study, my father bringing her in. And broke her wings." He closed his eyes tightly, gritting his teeth. "I still remember the snap and her horrible scream, then the thud of the wings thrown before me. My brothers made me watch, forced my eyes open as the blade came clean across her throat." Tears flowed down his cheek, brows furrowed, eyes still closed. "Just like that... she was gone. And I couldn't do anything, couldn't fucking do anything and watch as she bled to death." He now gripped the edge of the table hard, the metal slightly groaning.  
I had no idea how... How he could even manage that. Seeing his very first love be killed... by the man he thought to be his father majority of his life.  
It angered me to know High Lord Beron could do this to Lucien, to disapprove of a woman because she didn't hold the title of High Fae.  
"I am so sorry," I whispered, moving my chair close to his and taking his hand.  
"It's not your fault, Vi." He said, voice full of anguish.  
"I-I know. It's just... You going through that... I can't believe they would do something like that." I pressed my forehead to his.  
"I'm still here- Still fighting." He said looking into my eyes.  
"How often do you get these dreams?" I asked.  
"Every so often. Sometimes they can be triggered." He sat back in his chair.  
"Was it triggered this time...?" I waited for his reply.  
He nodded, "When Rhys was cutting off your airways... and you saying my name- so much like Jes did."  
I reached up and touched my throat, remembering how quickly the air was being cut off.  
"Do you hate him?" Lucien asked hesitantly.  
I pondered over the question, "No." I said.  
"But he almost killed you!" He jerked forward, hands gripping the armrests of my chair.  
"But he didn't." I deflected, heartbeat picking up again.  
He gave me a hard look and pulled away, shaking his head a little.  
I got up and turned to the house and paused under the archway, "If I was him, I'd try to kill me too." I muttered under my breath.  
My back was pressed against the stone, a yelp escaping me as Lucien held me by the arms.  
"Don't fucking say that!" Fresh tears now sprouted, " _Don't ever say that!_ " His voice cracked.  
"Lu..." I managed, the emotions, so raw hit me. Tears fell from my eyes.  
"Please..." He closed his eyes, mumbling it over and over.  
I reached up and touched his cheek, brushing a tear away before he leaned into my palm.  
"I'm sorry." I apologised, feeling regret now wash over me. I was such an idiot to even say such a thing.  
I gazed at him, watching his brows relax as he reopened his eyes again.  
He straightened his back, and I realised how close we were. Mere inches apart.  
He let out a breath, his lips parting as if he was to say something. I stared at them, a thought crossing my mind.  
And like he had heard it, he leaned closer, nose brushing along mine. His scent was almost intoxicating, a buzz erupting through me.  
His lips brushed against mine, a silent question and awaiting my reply.  
I didn't wince or turned away.  
His answer was received before his lips befell mine.  
It was... odd.  
The world seemed to have grown distant and unfocused, my body narrowing down to the softness of his lips.  
He was first tentative, like exploring new ground and testing the waters.  
My hands moved up his chest, gripping his shoulders until a groan slipped from him, his hands moved to pull my hips to his.  
His tongue swept over my lips, a demand to enter and I opened my mouth for him. He deepened it, the velvet surface of his tongue discovering every crevice of my mouth.  
Everything became so much clearer, so much... brighter as wildfire and shadows merged together but there was something else holding it back that I couldn't understand what.  
A beckoning that caused my body to arch as his hand moved down to clasp the underside of my knee and lifted up to hold against his hip.  
We both became more desperate, the fire fueling this desire that had been brewing between us.  
I whimpered as I was finally hoisted up, his hard body pinning and holding me against the stone as his fingers plunged into my hair, giving it a tug. I made a sound of delight.  
But when his hips became fitted against mine and began to move...  
My body responded to the action, rocking back against him.  
His groans were like a song to my ears, blessing my soul with a newfound obsession. Just like when I had slipped into his body, hearing my name through him.  
My feet were back on the floor, his hands moving to unbuckle his pants. His kisses moved to my jaw, nipping at my skin before he sucked on my neck.  
"Lucien." I moaned his name, gripping his shirt. "Lucien- Lucien." My heartbeat was like a war drum, urging my body to open up and let him in.  
I pushed him back against the stone this time, grappling with the buttons on his shirt, popping them easily as I dragged my hands down his chest, his abdomen, savouring at the hardness of his muscles, shaped over the many years as a warrior.  
I caught his lips in another fevered kiss, teeth clashing as we both tried to one-up each other.  
Hand back in my hair, he tugged until my head was tilted back so his mouth could leave small marks. A moan escaped me as he kissed lower, across my collarbone and biting the skin before he began his descent. His hands cupped my ass, giving it a good squeeze as his fingers hooked around the band of my panties, tugging it down.  
But then I realised with a horrifying thought, with the hickies displayed on my neck-  
"L-Lucien." I gasped, his lips at the curve of my breast, "Lucien- wait- Lu please- we can't." I said breathlessly, my body shaking as I semi-clutched him to me.  
He paused and stared up at me, his russet eye literally burning profoundly with the manic need. He was warm, almost hot to the touch.  
He let me go, falling back on his ass and leaning against the archway. His chest rose and fell as his eyes moved to see the wetness that started between my legs, his jaw clenched tightly as if he was restraining every part of him to prevent tackling me to the floor.  
His release on me caused my legs to give way and I collapsed to my side, panting hard as I leaned on my elbow.  
"Vi," he said, voice so thick and guttural, I whined at the sound, "Fuck I need you." He was moving again, crawling atop me his hand gingerly placed on my thigh, waiting for my response to let him in.  
"Please." I looked up to see the pleading look in his eyes, that want he wished to share with me, I didn't even expect him to start crying right now.  
His arms moved around my waist and tugged me back into a sitting position. Long fingers clasped the side of my neck, his touch making the ache between my legs almost unbearable.  
He knew exactly how I was feeling, his nostrils flaring as he took in my scent, "Vi." He muttered again. Astonishment was clear on his face.  
"I'm sorry," he whispered, "I-"  
"Shh," I placed a finger on his lips, so red and swollen, matching mine, "It's okay- It's okay." I didn't move if I touched him again... I believed the restraint on him would snap.  
"You- You know we can't-" I hated the words on my lips, gods this male before me- fuck. I barely knew the guy, and here almost losing it over this built up tension- I knew it was wrong in all ways, being with another and having thoughts of a stranger who had suddenly made me feel so, so good with a mere brush of his fingers. Fuck, just that first look he gave me.  
The disappointment on his face broke my heart, and I knew I had hurt him.  
But I knew if Nate even saw one of the marks on my neck... It was better to hurt Lucien than have him killed.  
He let me go and stepped back, away from me.  
His fire that was within him was replaced with a coldness, a door was closing.  
It was better to push him away than to get him killed.  
He didn't say another word and went into the bathroom, closing the door not too kindly that it rattled.  
I let out a shaky sigh as I got up eventually, turning inside and spotting yet another box. I grumbled as I came over and opened it, seeing some pants and a jumper, with my dagger sitting atop it.  
I hesitated to even touch the dagger now, remembering how I had stabbed the monster with it. The thought made me shiver and reaching up to touch my shoulder.  
I felt two bumps where those fangs had latched on to, remembering its scream and the snap of my wrist, remembering its words about feasting on me and lastly remembering how Lucien had come in but was attacked in the process.  
I gulped as I braced both hands on the bed, hearing his cries of pain as he tried to push the creature off.  
"He is okay," I reminded myself, pushing out the hateful thoughts that were sure to come. "He's okay," I said as I shakily pulled on the pants, pulling off the top and tugging on the light knit green jumper.  
I sat on the bed, holding the dagger in both hands and staring at the dark blade.  
I closed my eyes and remembered just a year and a bit after coming to Velaris when Azriel had come back after months of being away...  
_Strong wings lifted me high into the clouds. I felt the icy drops sting my face but I loved it._  
_The freedom of being so high and lost in this new world. My wings open wide as I dived and twirled and laughed._  
_But my laughs turned to sharp sobs as the ache in my soul trembled at the loneliness I felt._  
_It had been four whole months since Azriel had left with Cassian to tend to the troops of the Illyrian army. Gathering them together and bringing back the numbers lost at war with Hybern._  
_But no note, not even a whisper of cool shadows to remind me he was okay._  
_What if something happened? What if that snowstorm that hit the camps trapped him under somewhere?_  
_The questions piled up and I started to panic._  
_My only best friend dying, or dead already, alone in the mountains with no one to help._  
_I hugged myself, my wings curling the clouds around me. Trying to gather my breath back, counting to ten over and over until the sobs subsided._  
_I finally flew back, I went out far across the ocean and when I returned it was almost sunset._  
_I decided one more time I would check the House of Wind, in hopes Rhys had some news. I had visited the House every day after a week Azriel left, hoping the High Lord had something to say when no word had come._  
_I landed on the balcony, shaking off the condensation from the flying leathers Rhys gave me._  
_I stalked through the glass doors and stopped midstep, staring at the dining table._  
_Rhys was on the other side, hands splayed out of the table, eyes focused on me._  
_But I didn't care as I eyed the two winged males opposite Rhys, red siphons glinting and blue ones on the other._  
_"Ah," Rhys smiled broadly, "There she is, Az."_  
_Azriel turned, face unreadable as always, seven cobalt stones glowing. In a few strides, Azriel had stood before me, so close I could smell the wind and rain on him. His dark hair mussed._  
_Cassian was snickering behind, Rhys muttering to leave them alone._  
_Az waited until they left before his arms wrapped around me, clutching me to his chest. My own found their way around his back, his shadows snaking into my hair._  
_"I have missed you," His voice hagged and tired, "I have missed you so much, Viv."_  
_Tears sprung to my eyes as I held tighter, "Don't do that again, Azzie. Please." I looked up at him, his hazel eyes softened as a shadow gently wiped away my tears._  
_"I won't be going nowhere, not for a long time." The corners of his lips quirked just a little, Az expressed little emotion, but always the most to me._  
_"Thank the gods," I reached up and touched his cheek, a fresh scar gracing his brow. "I was so scared. Y-You didn't send a message."_  
_"I apologise a thousand times, Vivie. A storm had prevented us sending a message, and I was occupied with helping the women and children." He said, his wings coming around us._  
_I nodded, "Is... Is everything okay? At the camps?"_  
_"No. We are still recovering. The dead has... Increased." He traced one of the scales on my arm, I looked back up at him._  
_"I'm sorry," I whispered._  
_"Do not worry," He sighed, "I want to give you something." He said, changing the subject._  
_"Oh?" I watched as he reached at his thigh, unclasping a long sheath. He held it in both hands, the leather was finely made, Illyrian crafted._  
_I took it from him, my thumb running over the pommel, a round white rock before I traced the onyx coloured hilt to the crossguard which was designed to look like wings. I pulled the dagger out, liking the easy glide. The double-edged blade was beautiful, the metal polished and reflecting in the low light._  
_"Oh, Azriel..." I whispered, "Its perfect."_  
_"I wanted you to have something to keep you safe at all times." His smile was cute and shy almost._  
_"I will forever keep it beside me. Thank you." I cried and threw my arms around his neck, burying my face into his neck._  
_He chuckled softly and hugged me back, "Now you'll have a piece of me with you." He said against my ear._  
_"You flirt." I laughed as I kissed both his cheeks._  
_His smile turned into a small smirk, "I don't even try." He mused._  
_I giggled as I linked my arm in his, walking to his room to spend the night catching up with everything._  
As I opened my eyes, feeling lightened from the sweet memory, I saw Lucien watching me through the mirror as he braids his red hair.  
"Don't cut your hand on that," He said as he turned to me.  
I looked down and saw I had pulled out the dagger and quickly placed it back into its sheath.  
“Nice dagger,” he said, arms crossed and leaning against the archway.  
“Thank you,” I smiled lightly, “Azriel gave it to me.”  
“I see.” He replied curtly.  
The awkwardness between us grew, my eyes drifting to the floor where he had sat, chest heaving and his unbuckled pants still straining from the bulge that had grown.  
“We, um, we should head back. I’ve promised Danika to help out with the decorating. And I believe I’ve got some explaining to do to my friends,” I stood, strapping the dagger to my hip and picking up the box with the lingerie.  
Lucien nodded and came to the bedside table, writing a note before it burned up.  
Moments after Helion showed up, wearing what looked like a bathrobe. Steam still came from him, his hair a bit damp.  
“Perfect timing,” he grinned, glancing at us both. “Did you two have a fight? I sense a tension in the air.”  
“No,” Lucien spoke up, crossing over to me. “We’re ready to go home. But I want to stay with you, h- father. I want to look at something.”  
_Liar_ , I thought as I stood.  
“Of course,” Helion opened his arms and I stepped into his side, his strong arm wrapping around me, doing the same for his son who refused to look at me.  
My heart gave a hard tug.  
Light bloomed around us as we stood in the foyer of Helions palace, Lucien stepping back.  
I stared at the redhead male, trying to read his face, “I’ll see you tonight, Lucien?” I asked softly.  
Lucien looked at me, not saying a word before Helion held me tight and the world fell away.  
Sea air greeted me and the hustle and bustle of Velaris took shape around me.  
We stood in front of my home, it felt like years since the last I was here.  
“Did something happen at the beach house?” Helion asked gently.  
“Just tell him I'm sorry.” I turned to him. “I appreciate all the help you’ve done for me. I’ll be forever grateful for it.”  
He placed a hand on my shoulder, squeezing it, “Anything for you. Just ask and I’ll gladly help out. By the way, your stuff has been delivered to your room yesterday.”  
I smiled and nodded, but before he could leave I grabbed his arm, "Helion."  
He turned back to me, his smile faltering, "Yes?"  
"Those two ladies. You never told me what happened after they were found." I said. I could never forget what Helion has described to me.  
"Well, since we now know who had done it, we sent the bodies back to their families. I explained swiftly to them about how it came about. But I did not tell them it was some demon but a freak accident by a lunatic." He said.  
At least they could be put to rest, I thought as I let my body relax a little.  
"Again, thank you Helion. You are a kind man." I smiled and he blushed.  
"What a tease." He chuckled but I saw the grief in his eyes before he winnowed back home, leaving me in the street on a bright cold morning.  
I looked up at the two-levelled house, spotting the windows in the lounging room open, a large vase full of red roses placed on the windowsill.  
I rubbed my shoulder, feeling a strange tingle but pushed it aside as I trudged up the pathway.  
I didn't even make it to opening the door when the twins stood there, both grinning wide and exposing their needle-like teeth.  
"I've been wondering when you'd come home, Vivie." Fade mused.  
"Thought you might've left us, finally," Fadil earned a good jab from his brother and I laughed.  
"Oh, don't wish for that. I'm not leaving for a long time, needle mouth." I came up to them, being awkwardly sandwiched between them in a hug.  
"That's good. I don't want you to leave, I need someone to pick fights with." Fadil poked me in the shoulder.  
"And I need someone's lovely face to punch." I smiled sweetly and patted his cheek.  
Fadil laughed lightly, placing an arm over my shoulders and tugging me close. Though his smile faltered, his brother matching concern.  
“We were informed of what happened,” Fadil said softly, the front door closing as we entered the foyer.  
“How? Did Rhys come here?” I asked.  
Fade spoke up, “We have our own sources, Vivie. We heard it through them but didn’t tell no one else, then Rhysand had visited us yesterday evening notifying us all.”  
“What did he say?” We paused at the foot of the staircase.  
“Well, he said that there was a brutal attack by some creature. And that you attempted to save Lord Mablevi but sadly he was unable to be spared from death.” Fadil explained.  
“And that you, Vivie, had killed this monster.” Fade finished.  
“Not without Lucien’s help. If he didn’t come… I wouldn’t be standing here.” I smiled slightly; remembering when he had come in, power rippling off him.  
“But you still managed to kill it, despite being poisoned.” Fade squeezed my shoulder a little, I winced at the ache and pulled back.  
“Oh, sorry. Did that hurt?” Fade blinked, clasping his hands behind his back.  
“It’s where I was bitten by the monster,” I shivered, “It’s still tender, I’m taking a type of medicine to get rid of the excess poison still in my blood.”  
“Ah, sucks to be you.” Fadil jabbed my side and I batted his hand away.  
“You’re such a prick,” I scowled at him.  
"Viviana?" A soft, shaky voice caught my attention as I looked up and saw Bat.  
She was dressed in a gown of teal lace, covering her from neck to ankles. Her white hair pulled back into a twin braid behind her. I could see a slight tremble in those slender fingers.  
She wasn't in good shape, by the look of her sunken cheeks and dark circles under her eyes.  
The twins silently became shadows and were gone by the time Bat reached me.  
"Viviana, oh gods. I-I heard what happened and-" She stumbled over her words and took in a deep breath, calming herself as she hastily brushed off invisible dirt on her gown.  
"I'm alive and well," I reached out and placed my hand on her arm, she looked down and then at me again.  
"When I lashed out at you-"  
"It wasn't your fault. I shouldn't have pushed you." I wrapped my arms around her, my chin resting on her bony shoulder.  
She embraced me, "I shouldn't have said what I said, either." She pulled back and cupped my cheek, her thumb running over my cheek.  
"I got to admit, you really had a good punch." We laughed softly and hugged each other again.  
We walked to the kitchen and she prepared some hot tea, "Was the ceremony... nice at least?"  
"It was lovely." I replied, "A priestess, Kelsie if I remember, had led it."  
"Ah, Kelsie. She had grown up with Galatia, we grew close to." Bat said, stirring the leaves in the pot.  
I nodded, not saying anything as I clenched and unclenched my fingers.  
"If your wondering," Bat poured a cup of tea, offering one to me but I shook my head, "Nathaniel is in your room."  
"Did he ask for me during my time away?" I looked up.  
"Only when he heard what happened yesterday. He wanted to come and see you but Rhysand wouldn't let him. Said you needed the rest." Bat said, sitting across from me.  
I slightly felt relieved at that, reaching up to touch my neck.  
"Before you go see him, I'd get rid of those marks. Otherwise, you know how he'll react." Bat gave me a look, a silent question of why and how I got them.  
I blushed and nodded, getting up and going to the cupboard to fish out a tin, applying the healing salve to the bruised skin even though a small part of me wanted to parade them freely.  
"I'll go see him, then come down and help out-" I started but Bat held up a hand.  
"We got it. Just relax okay? Tonight is going to be wild." She winked at me and I sighed.  
"Maybe. I'll still ask." I made a face at her as I smiled and left the kitchen.  
I paused in front of my door, hearing the soft heartbeat and the turn of a page inside.  
I gripped the knob and opened the door, stepping inside and let the door swing shut behind me.  
Nate was on the bed, leaning against the headboard. He wore low waist shorts and was shirtless, making my mouth water at his bare torso.  
His pretty sea green eyes flicked up, wonder and admiration swirled in them.  
"Viv," He breathed, moving but I was on him instantly my arms wrapped around his neck.  
His own encircled my waist, pulling me tightly to his body. "Viv, gods I wanted to come and take you home right away." He said into my hair, his hands began to roam my body, checking if I had been injured further.  
“Nate, my love,” I pulled back, cupping his face in my hands, “I’m okay now. The healers patched me up really good.” I tucked a strand of his hair behind his ear.  
“Still, that monster had hurt you.” He leaned in close, his hands moved under my jumper.  
“And it won’t longer hurt me,” I kissed him softly.  
His hands moved higher along my back, it was barely a tingle but I could feel it. Like a soft breath of air.  
The kiss deepened and was thorough; a long awaiting want woke up between us. He pulled off my jumper swiftly, his kisses moving to my jaw then to my neck.  
I moaned and tilted my head back, closing my eyes. My core ached once again, that wonderful sensation of burning desire ripping through me.  
And just like that, I felt the cool stone against my back, long calloused fingers so expertly moving up my thigh dangerously close to my dripping sex that cried for the touch of fire. Soft lips leaving scorch marks, a plea escaping my mouth as I wished for more yet I couldn’t take that leap yet.  
Nate’s hand brushed the fresh scar on my shoulder and pain gutted out the fire. I shoved away from Nate.  
“W-Wait.” I was crawling off him before he pulled me back.  
“What is it?” His hips moved up to greet mine.  
I couldn’t help but moan, “I-I can’t do this. Not now.” I tried again to pull away but he held me still.  
“Why not? You never refuse.” His eyes darkened to deep sapphires.  
“I’m not in the mood. Please, Nate.” I took his hands, “Understand that- that I am still in recovery after what had happened.”  
He gave me a disapproving look, clearly seeing right through my lie, “Really?” He said slowly, his hands tightened on my hips.  
“Yes really,” I started to grow worried, my body going stiff.  
He was silent for some time but his release on my hips slackened, "Alright. I'm sorry." That odd darkness went away and was replaced with shame.  
"I know you want to have sex, but I just... I can't right now. Maybe tomorrow." I kissed his forehead.  
"Speaking of tomorrow," he perked up, "We are still going to my camp, right?"  
Shit. "Oh yeah! I almost forgot. Yes, we are still going." I remembered Rhys had mentioned a certain someone that lived near the Illyrian mountains, and despite his warning, I wanted to stake it out.  
This was my power and mine to figure it out.  
"Okay good. We'll leave early to get there before sundown since we will have breaks in between travelling." Nate said.  
"Sounds good," I moved off his lap and laid beside him, his arm around me. "Isn't there a hot spring near your camp?"  
"Yes, there is. Why?" He asked.  
"Hm, nothing, nothing," I smirked and he chuckled.  
"Ah. Yes. We can visit them definitely, Silvy." His fingers brushed my wings slightly and I shivered.  
I giggled lightly as he went back to reading, I dozed off a little.

 

* * *

 

“Bat, this is so revealing,” I whined as I stood in front of the mirror, staring at myself and the very short dress she had chosen for me.  
“You will make every man drool,” She piped at my dresser, going through the clips I had.  
The dress was entirely gold sequins. The neckline dropping almost to my navel, the straps acted liked a choker before a single diamond rope ran the length of my spine with another cutting horizontally across my back. The garment had high slits, showing off my thighs.  
“And Nate to have a hissy fit, and cause a fight,” I grumbled as she came over and got me to sit.  
“Maybe. But who cares about him.” She pulled my silver hair up, leaving a few curls to hang at my temples. She used twin gold leaf combs to hold back the ends of my braid. She handed me an ear cuff and I slipped it over the point of my ear, the other a simple stud.  
“You look stunning, here,” she shoved shoes into my hands, gold as well and very high. I cringed.  
“I’m going to break my ankles,” I laughed as I slipped them on and stood.  
Bat had chosen a floor length gown, a small train behind her. It was white lace with frost blue silk underneath with thin straps and an entire exposed back and a slight plunge of the neckline.  
“And you will flash the world with that cute butt of yours,” She winked at me.  
I laughed again. I was glad we were on good terms again, so I linked my arm in hers.  
“You have a cute butt too,” I admitted.  
“If you weren’t taken, you’d so do me, right?” Bat asked, bumping my hip with hers as we walked out.  
“Totally!” We laughed as we headed out to the garden.  
I hadn’t left the room at all and gasped at how lovely the decoration was. It really flaunted Danika’s taste.  
Colourful and bright, faelight hung above in multicolours, stretching from one corner of the garden and across in an X fashion.  
Alcoves in the hedges had couches arranged before a small closed off fire, curtains tied back in case anyone wished a more private area.  
Music floated from the gazebo and people were already here, milling about and happily chatting to each other. Some were already on the dance floor, and I could spot Danika among them.  
She had chosen the most colourful dress possible. It was entirely floral and was literally every colour that adorned the garment, the strapless bodice covered in chiffon-like roses, the dress puffing out much like a mushroom cup. She was prancing about like a child.  
I giggled a little as Bat and I headed to the food table.  
“Hey, have… You and Dani made up?” I asked as I picked at the meat, very particular of which part it came from.  
“No. She ignored me the entire time since that morning, and all day today.” Bat said, dumping a bit too much on her plate.  
I sighed, “I hope you to do makeup, I don’t want to see either of you hating each other for the rest of your lives.”  
Bat smiled slightly, “Yeah, I understand.” She said.  
We both went to the table where the rest of our group was seated, Saleem at the head like usual and adorned by a pale blue jacket and seafoam coloured edgings and buttons that looked like seashells. Beneath he wore a simple white shirt and a matching blue vest. The pale colours brought out the lovely dark skin of his, and his eyes as well.  
He raised a brow as I took my spot beside him, “You look… Enchanting.” He said as his eyes moved back to the plate before him.  
“You looking handsome as always, Saleem.” I blushed.  
The twins showed and sat across from Bat and myself, I scowled at the black on black Fadil had chosen, “Fadil, do you live in those clothes?”  
“No,” he said sitting back, “This is actually dark blue. You just can’t see it in the dark.”  
“Why can’t you be like your brother? He is wearing red at least.” I ignored his statement. Fade was dressed in a blood red jacket, with black lapels, breast pocket, buttons and cuffs. Like Saleem, he wore a matching red shirt and a fitted black vest.  
Fade smiled softly, “I said the same thing to him, he said he wanted to look mysterious. It attracts the ladies, it seems.”  
“Fuck yeah it does, you’re going to get some… I don’t know. Some weird woman.” Fadil sneered.  
“Usually, men who are mysterious attract the crazy ones,” Bat smirked.  
Fadil made a face at her before he crossed his arms, “Do _I_ attract you, Bat?”  
“No, you’re a guy and I don’t like guys.” She stuck her tongue out at him.  
As they talked, I watched as more guests appeared, wondering if Lucien would show.  
Though, someone else showed up.  
Dressed in his usual night court garb, his midnight black hair combed back, was Rhys. Perched on his arm was Feyre, dressed in peach coloured pants that gathered at her ankles by a gold band, her midriff showing with a halter neck top that had topaz stones sewn along the band around her neck and under her bust.  
Azriel was chatting with Cass who was laughing. His shirt was unbuttoned, revealing his chest and the swirling ink. While Az was more clean cut and classy.  
Behind them, Nesta and Elain watched the partygoers around them, the eldest holding Elain close. Nesta gave glares at any male who stared at her for too long at the lethal blue gown that hugged her body.  
Elain was more modest, donning in a pretty pink gown that cut across her collarbones with sleeves off the shoulders and flowing a little past her fingertips. The bodice was tight but flared out at the waist and soft chiffon whispering along the floor.  
Morrigan was floating around the guests, golden hair held back by a single silver crystal clip.  
I stared at how perfect the silk red gown she had on, two pieces of material covered her bust and tied around her neck before an opaque material fell behind her and clasped around her wrists.  
I pouted a little, _She is gorgeous in everything_ , I thought, picking at the hemline of my dress.  
I looked back at my empty plate, I had not seen Lucien with them.  
“Hey,” Bat placed her hand over mine, “Why are you looking so gloomy?”  
“Ah, nothing. Just thinking.” I smiled, “Can I ask you something?”  
“Go ahead.” Bat nodded, sipping her wine.  
“What… Happened after the breakfast? I saw Cass and Az come down.”  
“Mhmm,” She nodded, “They just took me to Rhysand and we had a chat.”  
“And what did he say?” I asked, sipping at my mixed drink, which had a bit too much of alcohol in it.  
“Just laid out the law to me and said I was to keep the peace and not cause a shit storm.” She shrugged, “Not in those words but it was along the lines of it. And by the Mother, look who’s coming.”  
I followed her gaze and saw Rhys coming over, giving everyone a wide smile, “Evening.” He said in greeting, inclining his head.  
“High Lord Rhysand. Nice to see you here.” Fade said, standing with his brother and bowing a little.  
“No need for formalities at such an event, just Rhys, remember?” Rhys told the pair and they nodded before they sat. He looked around as if buying time, “Where is the birthday girl?”  
“She’s already on the dance floor,” I replied to his question.  
He looked at me, then to where Danika was, “Ah, yes. I’ll hunt her down later. I just want to speak to you, Viviana. Privately.”  
I grew slightly nervous but I stood up, fixing my dress as I took my glass and followed the High Lord.  
I looked over my shoulder and saw my friend watch with concern.  
We paused not too far from the gazebo, where it was somewhat quiet. I looked up at Rhys, his hands in his pockets.  
“So, what do you want to talk about?” I asked, trying not to reach up and touch my throat, which tingled.  
“About what I saw. In you.” He said, his eyes trained on my neck.  
“Oh.” I shifted on my feet, looking away. “What about it?”  
“Whatever it is, it's not…” He trailed off.  
“Right? Yeah. I think I got the memo when you called me a monster.” I said with an edge to my tone.  
Rhys didn’t flinch, “I did not mean to call you that. I-” He breathed in his jaw tight. “I’ve never seen such… evil. The power that stirs in you- it’s almost godly.”  
My brows furrowed, “Yet I’ve not felt… Godly. The power comes and goes but it mostly stays shrouded. Unless I’ve used it like when I had to defend myself from the creature, a voice talks to me while I’m in deep sleep.”  
“Azriel said you mentioned some ‘king’ when you were attacked at the loft.” Rhys tilted his head to the side.  
I nodded. “The same creature at Lord Mablevi’s house mentioned about him again, and while I was in recovery, the ‘king’ took another appearance. He mentioned about the creature being some renegade spy of his.”  
Rhys lifted a hand and rubbed his jaw, “And this king, he is not of this world, I presume?”  
I mulled over the options. This power wasn’t right, and with the books, I’ve read over my life… It didn’t seem like anyone else had it.  
“But I am a shadowsinger,” I said, blinking slowly.  
“You are. Azriel clarified it. But he said its more… Unique. Different in a way.” Rhys said.  
I remembered when Az had stated it to me and the rest of the Inner Circle, “I recall that time. Does the uniqueness mean because of this… other power I possess?”  
“It may be. We might need to look into this, into you. Of course, with your consent.” Rhys said.  
I stared ahead at the revellers, searching for a head of red, gleaming hair, “Like I said to Azriel the other day, I’ll think about it.”  
Rhys sighed, “Last thing,” He said.  
I brought my focus on him.  
“I apologise for what I said to you. About you being a monster. I stepped out of line and I hope you could forgive me.”  
I saw the fear and the self-hate that was within him. I knew that no one had ever seen such a fragile side of him, only Feyre I believed.  
I stepped close and wrapped my arms around him, hugging him tightly, being careful of my drink. “As much as I want to kick your ass, I can’t hate you forever, Rhysand. You are my friend,” I paused and looked up at him, “You are my family. My last remaining family.” I added in a quiet voice.  
His star-flecked eyes shimmered with emotion, a silver lining appeared, “I’m glad- I’m so, so glad you think that.” He hugged me tightly. “I will never lay a hand on you like that again, I’ll only protect you and your friends.”  
I held back a sob as I clung to him, Rhys had been almost like a brother to me, taking me in when I was in a bad place.  
“I love you, Rhys,” I said as he pulled back.  
He smiled, “I love you too, Viviana.” He pressed a kiss to my hair before he tucked me to the side. “We should head back to the party.” He said.  
I nodded quickly, “We should. Let's go.”  
We walked back before I broke off, he headed back to his mate while I found Saleem dancing. I joined him, somehow another alcoholic drink shoved in my hand and I finished it.  
By the time we finished, I was a little tipsy, holding on to Saleem for support as we wandered over to the drinks table.  
“You danced so _funnily_ ,” I giggled at Saleem.  
“I don’t know how to dance, so hush.” He pouted as he sipped at his water; I did the same with mine.  
I grinned as Cecilia made an appearance upon a raised platform, standing beside an easel with a white cloth over it.  
“Hello everyone,” Cecilia managed to carry her own voice over the garden, hushing the crowd, “I just want to say thank you for coming tonight and making this night the best ever for our dear friend, Danika.”  
“That’s me!” Danika jumped up and down beside the stage, waving her hand. Laughter spread across the garden.  
“I want to call her up here, give her a round of applause!” Cecilia cheered, along with the rest of the clapping crowd as Danika excitedly came up, buzzing with joy.  
As Cecilia boasted on about Danika’s wild and carefree personality, I looked around to try and find Lucien again.  
I finally spotted him on the other side and gasped softly, I was making a move before he came into a clear view.  
His arm was slung over a very tipsy Bat, her arms around his waist and her face tucked into his neck. He was chuckling at whatever she was saying.  
I felt boiling anger burn through my happy thoughts, jealously following after as he leaned down and brushed his lips against her temple, causing a shudder to go through her.  
How? Why? My heart was like thundering hooves, tears wanting to spill.  
I looked away, I’m with Nate. _If Lucien is happy, then I will be too_ , but the thought seemed to make me sway.  
I felt cheated, in a way.  
After his kindness and care for me… I didn’t want him sharing that with another. My eyes continued to drift to them, but the cry of Danika brought my attention to the stage.  
She was staring at the painting of her name, each space on the canvas had our personalised touch. The twins had drawn black and purple flames with streaks of gold, Saleem gentle waves that cradled her name, Cecilia with flames and maple leaves and Bat with blue and silver snowflakes. I saw mine and smiled as Danika was crying.  
“Thank you to my beautiful friends who made this for me, I appreciate the personalised drawings. I want to apologise though, to any headache and pain I caused to anyone, and that I love each and every one of you.” She glanced at Bat, smiling extra wide for her, “Please, have fun and party!”  
Everyone clapped and cheered as the music wound back up, a more upbeat. I poured more liquid into my glass, downing it instantly before pouring again and stalked through the crowd.  
I wanted to find Nate, fuck him until all thoughts of Lucien was gone. Damn that autumn court male. Damn him.  
He had the nerve to seduce me over these days, kissing me today like I was worth it and now letting Bat be all over him in an alcove.  
It made me sick.  
I took a big gulp of my drink, being unsuccessful with finding Nate. He had left me alone as well.  
I found an empty couch, sitting down, cringing at the couples around me kissing and moving against each other.  
Even Danika was wrapped around Fadil, sucking face.  
I scowled as tears began to stream down my cheeks, my thoughts so clouded I didn’t see Helion slide beside me.  
“Hey, crying is so not flattering.” He gently pried the glass out of my hands, setting it on the low table.  
“I don’t care.” I sniffled, wiping away my tears.  
“I do. A Lady shouldn’t be crying,” Helion tilted my chin up so I could gaze into those lovely dark eyes. “Why are you crying?” He asked.  
“I-I’m just a-alone. I hate seeing e-everyone t-together.” I started to cry again, Helion gently wiped away my tears with a tissue.  
“Alone?” Helion asked, confusion in his tone.  
“Y-Yes. Alone. Not even Nate is here to be with me.” I gave him a teary-eyed look.  
“But your mate is here, I just saw him.” Helion’s brows furrowed.  
I blinked, taking the tissue from him and wiped my eyes, “Mate?” My own brows scrunched together.  
He laughed, “Yes, mate, Viviana. His name starts with L, he is my future heir…” He trailed off, clearly noting the utter loss on my face.  
“Lucien. You are Lucien’s mate. Don’t tell me you didn’t know…?” His eyes widen a little.  
_Mate_ … “No.” I shook my head, “I’m not. I-I’d have known…” I trailed off.  
Being near Lucien always made me feel like I was going to explode, the strange need that always made me so desperate for him.  
And the thoughts and feelings I could always sense from him…  
“You have a bond with him. It just not as… clear since you two appear to ignore it. But I can see it, and it wants to be recognised.” Helion explained.  
“Can everyone else see it?” I asked, turning back to him.  
“Yes. Which is why not a single male glanced at you. But my son has,” He smiled. “I figured you two had finally known from the tension earlier this morning.”  
I shook my head, “No. I- He almost took me. We- Our kiss was-”  
“Rough? Intense? Frantic? Yes, the mating bond can be like that. The male will get extremely ravenous with his mate, especially autumn court males.” He gave me a sly smile and I snorted.  
“And you have experience? Wait no, don’t answer that, I don’t want to hear it.” I shook my head as his smirk grew.  
“It’s the, as the saying goes, fire in their blood.” He derided, watching the dancers.  
No wonder Lucien felt like it, his skin almost scorching, the air arid and dense. An image of him taking me, hard and rough…  
I stood up instantly, the bond waking at my understanding and acknowledgement, “He was with Bat.” I said, scrutinising the crowd.  
“Be careful, Viviana. Please.” Helion squeezed my hand.  
I looked down and knew what he meant, “Don’t worry, I’ve got it under control.”  
I walked off, grappling for the bond and letting it guide me to the alcove Lucien was tucked in.  
I stood before the fire, letting it illuminate my body and to reflect off the glitter on my dress.  
Lucien stopped talking to Bat, who stared at me and without a word slipped away.  
Oh, she knew.  
Lucien- my mate, was dressed in tight brown leather pants with polished knee-high riding boots. His white shirt tight on his warrior’s body and the neckline dropped open to reveal his chest I ached to kiss. On top he wore a green embroidered jacket, the material had an illusion like the design of leaves. Gold buttons blinked in the hazy glow.  
I dragged my eyes to him, both arms slung on the backrest of the couch. The light brown liquid in the glass looked like molten lava, matching his remaining eye.  
His expression was seductive, his half smirk making the brutal scar stand out even more.  
Another place I wished to kiss.  
“Vi,” His voice was deep, thick with a mixture of the mating bond and the alcohol.  
“Lu,” I replied as I tugged the thin curtains free to fall across the entrance to hide us.  
I walked over and settled beside him, facing him sideways with my leg crossed over my knee.  
“Or should I call you, my mate.” His eyes widen at my statement.  
“How’d you find out? Did you know this entire time?” He asked, his eyes roving over m body.  
“No, I was told by your father,” I said, staring at him in awe. This man beside me, making me feel all sorts of feelings… was my mate.  
“Oh.” He looked back up, “And…?”  
He wanted to know my thoughts.  
“I’m… In shock. I-I wouldn’t have thought it’d be you-” I loathed the following words but his shake of the head and the look of understanding in his eyes made my heart ache.  
“You thought it would be him.” He said the words I could not say. He reached out and cupped my cheek, “But the mating bond- we don’t have to accept it. Not until you are ready. I will wait. I don’t want you to get hurt.”  
Oh, gods, he was so attentive and weary of my other relationship that he’d put this amazing link on hold.  
For me.  
“Lucien…” I whispered his name, placing my hand over his. “Why are you so perfect?”  
He let out a chuckle, “I don’t know.”  
I giggled, "Hey, can I ask you something?"  
"What is it?" He asked.  
"When I was at Lord Mablevi's house, Helion asked me if I was okay." I trailed off, "He seemed awkward when he asked. Was it for his peace of mind or yours?"  
Lucien flushed a little, "Mine." he admitted in a small voice.  
I couldn't help but grin, "Oh? Worried little Lucien?" I poked his cheek.  
He snorted and made a face, "Just checking on you, that's all."  
I laughed, he was honestly a sweetheart. "And when did you find out about the bond since you seemed unsure as well?"  
"I knew but... I was in shock as well. That's why I stayed back with Helion this morning... I wanted to talk to him about it." He explained.  
I nodded, "Ah, I see. I'm sorry if I had made you upset after... what happened."  
"It's alright. I understand, Vi." He gave me a warm smile and I hugged him.  
“Why don’t we go and dance now? Sitting here and talking is boring.” I asked.  
“Sure.” He nodded.  
He stood up, finishing his drink and leaving the glass on the table before he took my hand and we walked to the dance floor.  
He spun me before I stepped into his arms, my own wrapped around his neck, his around my waist.  
He let out a soft growl as his hands met the bare skin of my back, “Why did you choose such outfit?”  
“I did not.” I laughed; he tugged me closer to his body, “Bat… chose it for me.” I remembered not too long ago Bat being all over him.  
“She was drunk,” he said, reading my mind.  
“I didn’t like it,” I murmured, reaching up and pushing back a strand of his hair behind his ear.  
“I know. That’s why I told her to leave.” His hands moved lower to cup my ass.  
I gasped, I was flush against him, his nose brushing my forehead. “You seemed fine with her kissing you.” I countered.  
“No, I was not. I was thinking about you.” His soft lips tickled my cheek, and then he started to suck on my jaw.  
“Oh? What were you thinking about?” I titled my head to the side. My body started to rock against him, his hands helping my hips roll.  
“Many things,” His eye darkened, his eyes moved down to my chest, “Things I wish to do to you. Hands,” He gripped my hair and tugged my head back again, his mouth claiming my throat, “And mouth.” He added under a growl.  
His breath was like sweet kisses of fire, his tongue dragged up to my jaw before he pulled back to look into my eyes.  
“A-Anything else?” His bulge pressed against my throbbing core, gods I can feel him, my lust-addled mind spoke.  
“I shouldn’t tell, but I can demonstrate.” His mouth was upon mine, parting my lips with his tongue.  
Velvet and dominating, sweeping every corner and sliding over mine. He moved in a way that told me how much of an expert he was with licking.  
My chest tightened at the mere thought of his head between my legs, the broad planes of his tongue unwinding me with a simple flick.  
I was turned and my back pressed against him, my rear grinding against his hardness.  
“Show me what you can do.” He said hotly against my ear, sending sparks to fly through me.  
I did as ask, moving my body as I raised my arms over my head and to let my fingers tangle in his hair.  
“Fuck,” He gripped my hips, pulling me firmer to his crotch, “Vi- Are you not wearing-” His fingers explored the bare thigh, finding nothing to latch onto. “You naughty, naughty girl.” He nibbled on my earlobe.  
His hands moved down my thighs before going further in, under the material to brush just the outside of my sex.  
“I want to touch you, I want to sink my fingers in you and watch you arch your back.” Lucien pushed his thumbs in, the outer walls of my sex pressing against my bud.  
I wanted _him_.  
I wanted to be crushed under his body.  
I wanted to be taken in so many ways.  
I wanted _him_.  
I turned to him, “Come,” I took his exploring hands, tugging him towards the house. Be careful, Viviana, Helions voice reminded me.  
But I had no care for that warning.  
It was just filled with Lucien and the idea of him _filling_ me.  
We hurried up the stairs, I laughed as his hands reached to grope my ass. I stumbled and he caught me, arms wrapped around my stomach.  
“Watch it, Vi.” He licked my shoulder and I giggled as we came to a random room, I opened the door with my foot and he carried me in.  
He set me down and turned to kiss me hard again, backing me to the couch and lifting me and setting me on the armrest.  
He sucked on my tongue, a groan emitting from his chest as he pulled my legs apart. “I want to touch you,” He admitted his hands moving closer to my core.  
I smirked and gave him a playful shove and hurried to the other side of the couch, “Oh? Then get it.” I teased.  
His russet eye blazed as he chased me, though he jumped over the couch and grabbed me.  
I was pinned to the couch, his strong hands holding my shoulders down.  
We both stared at each other, breathless and on a high. I gripped his biceps, he was so tense and hard.  
He leaned down and kissed me again, this time it was deep and slow. His tongue once again in my mouth, dragging across my own in soft caresses.  
I moved my hands to his collar, gripping onto it and tugging it off. He sat up and pulled me up with him, his jacket falling to the floor.  
He cupped my face and did not stop kissing me before his hands moved down and brushed the underside of my breasts.  
I made a soft sound and allowed him to cup them, palming them, my nipple rolling against his palm.  
“Lucien,” I tugged his shirt out of his pants, I saw the hesitation in his eye, “Take it off.” I begged, “ _Please_ , Lu.”  
His throat bobbed and he pulled his shirt off.  
I let my eyes absorb the muscle before me, the tanned skin glowing lightly. “May… May I touch…?” I looked up at him.  
He gently took my hands and placed them both on his chest. “You may touch as much as you wish, Vi.”  
I nodded, dazed and drunk on him, on his scent. I traced each curve of him, leaning in close and brushing my lips and tongue across his taut abdomen.  
He sucked in a breath, fingers in my hair. I let my hands wander, moving from the small of his back and up his spine.  
He moved away and pulled me to my feet, a whine escaping me before he lay down on his back and pulled me to straddle his lap.  
My fingers splayed on his chest, my hips lowering as I started to grind. A moan dropped from my swollen lips, his hands resting on my hips as he watched intently.  
“S-So hard,” I murmured, my mouth open in an O shape.  
“You make me hard, little dove.” The new nickname made me feel more aroused than ever.  
An idea came to me. I knew this, what was about to happen, would change our relationship. Mating bond or no.  
I eased off his lap, blushing at the wetness that stained his pants as I moved to the floor, his eyes trailing every movement.  
I sat, facing him, and opened my legs, only a gold slip of material hid my wetness from him. I ran my fingers along the inside of my thigh, moving across the material and press-  
Lucien was upon me, "No. I don't want you to touch yourself." His voice deep as he pushed me to lay on my back. I tucked in my wing, the other lazily stretched out.  
He stayed on his side beside me, eyes still on my face as he licked two of his fingers.  
I whined.  
"Move the material," he said around his fingers and I lifted up the dress.  
His nostrils flared as he inhaled my scent before I watched those fingers move to settle between my legs.  
"Eyes on me, little dove." He ordered and I quickly looked back at him.  
Until his index and middle finger slid down the sides of my labia, pushing the fleshy skin to hug my bud.  
I gripped onto his bicep, his fingers moving slowly along me, massaging my bud at the same time.  
It wasn't enough to sate the roaring need, so I lifted my hips.  
"Don't. I want to feel you," His words were sweet against my temple, lulling me into the cloudiness of lust and pleasure.  
"So wet, little dove. All for me?" I could only nod at his question, words were forgotten as I moaned once his middle finger slowly circled and rubbed my clit.  
"Should I sink my fingers into you, little dove?" He asked, voicing the same words he said earlier.  
He pinched my clit and I gasped, arching my back.  
"Answer me. Or I'll not grant what you want." His hand retreated from my sex.  
I whined, "No! Please!" I cried, " _Please_!" I tried to tug his hand back.  
"Please what? Be specific, little dove." His smirk was cruel, devious as he wrung any begging I had in me.  
"I want you to finger me hard. Please, Lucien. Please," I wanted to slap his cunning smirk off but then again, the look just turned me on.  
"If you say so, little dove." He purred and didn't hesitate as two fingers, his middle and ring, dived into me. And started to move.  
I sat up and leaned on my elbows, gasping at each thrust of those insidious fingers.  
His thumb moved against my clit, causing ripples of gratification to rush over my skin and thoughts.  
His fingers were knuckled deep, occasionally being curled to press against as sensitive spot within me, cause my body to jolt at the touch.  
"Oh little dove," he moaned against my neck, working my body without stopping. "So tight, fuck, _fuck_." He bit my skin to silence himself.  
As much as Nate made me come, made me feel good, it would never match with what Lucien was doing to me.  
Lucien was merciless, he didn't let up, only went faster to make my cries louder.  
Everything felt so right, so good. Sweat soaked my body as the fire from him curled around the smoky darkness within me.  
The touch almost made me unwind, but he was holding back, he wanted to feel the tightness of my walls, the smoothness of my bright pink skin.  
He wanted this to last until I could no longer handle it, wanting to throw me off the cliff I was stumbling close to.  
The rhythm and slamming of his fingers matched the fast music that thrummed outside, escalating to the finale.  
"Lucien!" My body was now undulating, my hips moving in a way I was riding his fingers.  
He laid on his back and pulled me to my knees, "Ride." He demanded and I did.  
He still moved his hand and my hips rolling.  
In and out, in and out his fingers went. Slick and smooth.  
His russet eye was nothing but wildfire, his skin burnished gold as his power rose to the surface.  
My shadows made an appearance, longing for him and sliding over his body in gentle touches.  
"I-I don't th-think I can h-hold on for long!" I mewled, my entire body shaking as I kept hunching over, both hands on the floor.  
Lucien laid me back down holding me tightly to his body, "Then let yourself go, little dove." He groaned.  
His hand that went under my back and around my chest cupped my breast, teasing the hard nipple.  
" _Yes, yes, yes!_ " I closed my eyes tightly as I threw my head back, the rain of fire much heavier as I burned and burned.  
The friction of his fingers pushed and pressed against my walls, urging me to unleash myself.  
My hips were bucking off the ground as I was entirely ignited, the cacophonic lust slammed into me and threw me off the cliff in beautiful colours of gold, red and oranges.  
That hunger was being filled with a single powerful release barreling down my spine, my words distant and hoarse.  
I had no idea how I stayed like that, eyes closed and breathing hard as the pleasure becoming a subtle throbbing sensation.  
"Vi?" Lucien's voice was a mere whisper, pulling me back to reality.  
Slowly, I opened my eyes to meet his awed expression.  
I smiled, reaching up with a shaky hand and ran my fingers over his lips, "Hi," I said, still dazed.  
He leaned close and kissed me, his fingers retreating and I moaned into the kiss.  
He pulled back and brought his hand up to his face, eying the glistening substance that coating them.  
I blushed and took his wrist, pulling it close and sucking on his fingers.  
He grunted softly, watching me clean them up before he removed them and licked them himself.  
"Sweet," He murmured before he cupped my face with a hand and kissed me gently, carefully. No tongue, just... to remind me he would always be tender.  
I laid my head on his arm under me, "Thank you." I said softly, still buzzing but I felt sleep starting to creep up on me.  
"For?" He stroked my side.  
"For being my mate," I replied, snuggling close to his body.  
"You should thank the Mother and Fate for that," He chuckled, the corners of his eyes wrinkling as he gave me a broad smile that made my heart stutter.  
I kissed his scar, "Let's move to the couch or something. I don't want to be waking up with a sore back."  
He nodded and knelt on his knees, I saw he was still hard.  
"Lucien- Oh gods. You're hard- do you want me to-"  
He placed a finger to my lips, "I'll be fine, Vi. Don't worry." He stood and helped me to my feet.  
I winced a little, "I feel bad to leave you in such a state..."  
He laid back on the couch, "Another day you may please me. Tonight was just about you." His smirk appeared, "I'd like to be far away from any distractions, to be able to fuck you properly, worship this glorious body of yours with everything I've got."  
Heat bloomed once again at those sinful words. I crawled on top of him, settling down, "Oh Lu," I managed, my breathing laboured slightly.  
His laugh rumbled as I rest my head on his bare chest and listening to his heartbeat slow to a steady beat.  
He pulled a blanket up to our waist, "Sleep, my little dove." He stroked my hair, unbound since gods know when.  
My body was entirely relaxed, filled with the light of the bond that comforted me in ways I hadn't felt for so long. Not since the kind, warm arms of my parents.  
Sleep came easily, and all I dreamt of was a future life with Lucien in a golden palace of light.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morning comes and Viv and Lucien experience an almost heated interaction before Nate comes in ruining it. Viv then packs for her trip to the Illyrian camp Nate is from. Only to find something on the way that may bring her closer to what power she has...

When I woke, I was still in a daze. My mind working slowly and a pounding headache caused me to groan.   
"Good morning, little dove." Lucien's voice made a smile bloom on my face. He gasped.   
"Morning," I responded as I rubbed my eyes and pushed myself up and yawned. I looked around, pale morning light broke through the cracks of the curtains.   
"How'd you sleep?" He asked, his hands resting on my back, his thumbs stroking my skin.   
I shivered, "I slept perfectly." I looked down at him, his hair splayed on the cushion beneath him. "You?"   
"Like a babe," He gave me a lopsided smile, he leaned in and kissed me.   
I made a soft sound as I closed my eyes and melted into the sweet, tentative kiss. I deepened it, this time I broke apart his lips with my tongue and a groan managed to slip from him.   
His arms tightened around my waist, pressing my body against his bare torso. I could feel the shift of his muscles as he took in a quick gasp and started to run his hands up my spine.   
"Lucien," I said between kissing him, the bond sizzling again after a restful night.   
I could feel him start to rise, pressing against my core. I reached up with both hands to cup his face, dragging my tongue across his teeth as he turned us over.   
But the couch was small and we both tumbled to the floor, Lucien atop me.   
I gasped as we landed before I broke out into a small fit of giggles and wrapped my arms around his neck.   
He was laughing against my neck, his hair like silk between my fingers, "Oops," He said as he kissed up to my jaw before he leaned on his elbows and gazed longingly at me.   
"It's your fault," I said as I dropped my arms to my side, holding his gaze as he played with the curls of my hair.   
"Sure," His eye darkened, flames stroking the bond. He licked his lips casually, his metal eye clicking softly as his gaze moved to my neck.   
"We're mates," I murmured, dragging my fingers through his hair before brushing his scar and over his lips.   
"Mates." He said as he licked my fingertip, before taking two fingers and sucking on them, his tongue moving over the soft pads in a way that sent my body into almost a frenzied state.   
"Mate," I said, pulling my hand back and wrapped my arms around his neck.   
Lucien sat up, kneeling, his arms pulling me and once again I was crushed against his magnificent body.   
His lips found my neck and started to suck and bite, lethal and predatory.   
Claiming me.   
I was rocking my hips, gyrating against his crotch almost desperately.   
"Fuck," He gasped, strong hands gripping my ass, "Little dove, baby, I- fuck I need you." He laid me back down on the floor, my legs still on either side of him.   
"Then have me," I found myself saying, palming my own breast.   
His growl was the only answer as he fumbled for the buckles on his pants.   
Lucien- this gorgeous, handsome autumn court male- was going to be buried deep inside me. Fucking me until I was a muttering mess.   
I wanted nothing but him.   
Until I felt a cool sensation of whispering darkness roll over me, "Silvy!" Nate's voice reached me.   
I sat up, snapping out of my daze, "Shit. Lu- You need to get dressed." I scrambled to my feet, grabbing his shirt and jacket.   
"Why? Vi, I- we can't just stop now." He gripped my wrists, looking up, "Viviana-" He was cut off as I cupped his face and kissed him deeply.   
"I am so sorry," I whispered, "We can't." I shivered when he gripped my thighs.   
"Is it because of Nathaniel?" He said his name with such revulsion, "I am your mate-"   
"And you said you will be here as long as it takes. That you will wait for me. There are plenty of Fae who are mates and are not together." I said.   
It was better to push him away than to get him killed.   
I heard Nate calling me again.   
"Lucien please get dressed, you must. If he sees us like this you will be hurt." I whimpered.   
"Why is he looking for you? He wasn't at the party all night. He-"   
"Just stop it!" I cried, just as the door opened and Nate walked in.   
"Silvy, why are you-" He stopped short and stared at us both.   
I knew the picture was bad, I was still flushed and my hair a mess, Lucien kneeling before me shirtless.   
"Viviana." Nate said, his voice held a deadly bite, "Would you kindly leave the room and pack your things? We must go."   
I gulped as Lucien took the shirt from me and slipped it on, the tension was built very quickly.   
Lucien stood, each movement stiff and rigid as the need to protect me was rattling through him.   
I could feel it in me as well.   
"Where are you going?" Lucien asked me, his eyes never moving from Nate.   
"I am going to the Illyrian Mountains. I have to see something." I replied as I started to move.   
Lucien gripped my arm, "What?"   
"Let her go," Nate growled, coming closer now.   
"Tell me, Vi. Why are you going?" Lucien ignored Nate.   
This was bad, very, very bad.   
"It's none of your business, Lucien. I will talk to you when I return." I couldn't shake off his iron grip, yet he wasn't hurting me.   
"How long?" Lucien was taut like a bowstring when Nate was at my side.   
"Two days, maximum. Maybe more. It depends." I could feel the pure, male anger that came from Nate. The brutality that swirled in his eyes.   
_Mother_ , I begged, _Mother, please._   
"No, Vi you can't-"   
"Yes, I can. This is none of your business. I have to go." I pulled my arm back finally, standing between the two men.   
"Let's go, Nate, help me pack," I said, taking his hand.   
But he did not budge, "I'll come soon." He replied.   
"No. You come with me now," I tried to push him back.   
No use, I thought, tears starting in my eyes.   
"Vi, just- just do as he says. I'll be fine." Lucien said softly, down the bond.   
I choked a little and turned to him, "Please just- both of you stop. This doesn't need to happen. Please, Nate!" I was begging now, but an unknown hand brushed my thoughts and I started to cry as my legs moved to the door.   
I stopped and looked at the two men, "Please. Please."   
Lucien looked at me, giving me a small, light smile, "Go, Vi. I'll be fine."   
I hated myself for leaving the room, closing the door behind me. I tried to reach out for Lu through the bond but he had raised his shields up.   
I couldn't- I couldn't bring myself to even try and stop Nate. He was impossible to stop.   
He did what he wanted.   
It was better to push him away than to get him killed. I didn't push Lucien far enough, and now he was going to get badly hurt.   
Because of my recklessness.   
Nate knew any fae could pick up the scent of an uncompleted bond. Just like a wolf sensing a female in heat. But Nate was an alpha wolf of another clan, needing to seize any female to his lair and rid of any other challengers.   
I came to the room and collapsed outside the door, crying. I felt so helpless, so… useless.   
My magic refused to appear, not even my shadows wanted to comfort me.   
Useless.   
I got back to my feet, wiping my eyes just as Saleem was running down to me.   
“Viviana! Are you alright?” He caught me before I could fall again, “Why are you crying?”   
“I-It’s nothing.” I stuttered, pulling away from him, “I have to go.” I went to reach for the doorknob but Saleem took my hand. He was so gentle as if he was holding a petal.   
“You are hurting. I don’t want you to cry.” He gently wiped away my tears, I could smell the sea air, bringing me back to the little house along the Day Court coast.   
“I-It’s Nate- H-He saw L-Lucien w-with me and he-he might be hurting him.” I said between sobs, “I-I couldn’t stop him.”   
Saleem looked back down the hallway, then nodded, “I’ll go and check on them. But don’t cry okay? You are strong.” He squeezed my hands before he left.   
I wiped away the last few tears and held my head up. I knew Lucien could look after himself; he was a future heir with fire and light.   
He would be okay.   
Even going into the room, I could envision the two men facing each other. Lucien might take the hit if Nate felt like throwing a punch. Or they’d be arguing, verbally, which I preferred. I just sent my strength down the silent bond, hoping Lucien would sense it.   
I went to bathe, washing my hair, scrubbing my skin with honey and milk soap, and trying to rid of the scent that was almost smothering me. It was as if Lucien had imprinted himself on me.   
Cinnamon and burning wood and a tinge of pumpkin spice still lingered as I dried myself off, no matter as I added some oils to freshen my face and skin.   
A few hickies were gathered on my neck, even one on my collarbone. Would he mark my entire body like that…?   
I had a hunch he would, mostly where he could only see them.   
I created a tight braid that was good for flying, my wings shaking a little at the thought. I stretched them out, groaning as the muscles in my back contracted and released as I tucked them back in.   
I still couldn’t feel at the base of my wings, and it seemed like it had spread. But I wasn’t sure. Maybe I was just over thinking things.   
I walked out of the bathroom, a robe around my body.   
Nate was leaning against the couch, his arms crossed. He was staring at the wall but snapped out of his daze as he stood up and looked at me.   
“Nate,” I said, my voice shaky. “You didn’t hurt him, please, you didn’t?” I came closer to him, a bit weary.   
He stayed silent for a few beats, just staring me as if he was pondering about gods know what.   
“I didn’t,” he hesitantly placed a hand on my bare shoulder, waiting to see how I’d react.   
I didn’t move away, just stared up at him with pleading eyes, “You promise? You didn’t lay a hand on him?” My mate.   
“I promise, I swear. I may be a brute, but I did not lay a hand on him.” He took my hands, kissing my knuckles.   
“I don’t like it when you argue, with me or others,” I whispered softly, resting my head on his chest.   
“I’m sorry.” He kissed my head but pulled back, “I-I told him to stay away from you. Silvy… He was trying-”   
“He wasn’t trying anything.” I let a bit of ice seep into my tone, “It’s the mating bond. I had control.”   
“You are mine,” He gripped my shoulders tightly, “I don’t care if there is a bond. You. Are. Mine.”   
I tried to explain but he kissed me, hushing my words as his arms wrapped just under my wings.   
My arms found their spot around his neck, pulling him down.   
The kiss was like a blanket being thrown over the fire, replacing with only ice and wind.   
“I should get dressed,” I said softly, stepping away from him.   
"I have a spare set of leathers in my tent at camp," Nate said, leaning against the frame and watched me get dressed.   
I nodded, tightening the buckles on my thighs. "Can you fix the straps on my back?"   
"Sure." He came over and began to check the leathers and armour. "How are your wings?" He asked.   
"Not as painful as before, but I can't really... Feel anything between them." I said as I took the blade from him, the one Az gave me and strapped it securely to my side.   
"Have you tried using your homemade medicine?" He asked, turning me around so I was facing him.   
"I'm taking the tonic given to me, hopefully in a few weeks I'll be back to myself." I patted his arm.   
"Well, I'm glad." He cupped my face and kissed me deeply. "We should head off, I want to get there before sunset."   
"Okay." I grabbed my little pack with my carving tools and my tonic and headed out after Nate, holding his hand.   
Coming to the foyer, the door opened and Azriel strolled in looking none too happy.   
"Where are you going?" He asked, blocking the door, the sun reflecting through those massive wings of his.   
"Joining Nate to go see his camp," I replied, Nate's grip tightened slightly.   
"You haven't healed," Azriel said gently.   
"I'll be fine." I held up my head, my wings shifted a little.   
Azriel gave Nate a hard look, shadows curling behind his ears, "There is a warning for a snow storm out in the mountains. I would advise you not to go."   
I ground my teeth together, "Azriel, we will be fine. If we get caught by the storm, we can just set up camp in a cave."   
"And if you don't find shelter?"   
I knew Az was stalling us, so I took a step closer to him, "We need to go."   
"Move it, Azriel," Nate growled, and for a first, Azriel did.   
"Do not let her out of your sight," Az said with a deadly calm, "Or I will-" He stopped himself, restraining that urge to bite.   
"I won't," Nate said, taking a step outside.   
I went to follow but Az took my arm gently, "Please, Viv. If not for me, then for his peace of mind."   
I looked into those gentle yet hard eyes, knowing who he meant, "Tell him I'll be fine. I'll visit him tomorrow when I come back or the day after." I smiled a little and patted his hand.   
He went to say something but Nate's call caused him to shut his mouth, I slipped outside.   
Nate opened his wings before in two beats he was up in the air.   
I unfurled my own, stretching them as wide as possible to ease the tightness. I glanced over my shoulder to see Azriel, stone-faced.   
I gave him a small smile as it took me a few more beats than necessary but I was soaring high in the sky, catching up with Nate quickly.   
The mountains surrounding Velaris came up quickly, and I gave the city a last glance. Then clouds were around us.   
The cold air bit my face, but I welcomed it. It was a nice change, letting my body sing with the wind, it carried me high and long.   
My muscles became lighter, more attuned rather than cramping up in bed.   
My smile grew as I threw open my arms, reaching above the clouds and greeted with a beautiful golden sun.   
The snowy peaks of the mountains floated by, I flew close by them then dived into the clouds before shooting back out of them, leaving a trail behind.   
Nate was watching me, a big grin on his face. "It's so nice to see you like this." He called over the roaring wind.   
I only laughed and twirled, flying close to him.   
"Hey!" He smirked as he swung towards me.   
I moved away, giggling before we started to chase each other through the clouds.

 

* * *

 

We had landed an hour later to eat and tend to our needs before taking off into the sky.   
I felt tired already and used the wind to glide instead of flapping, as much as Nate urged to go faster.   
Each beat of my wings caused me to wince, but I kept quiet about it. It was just the lack of flying I had not done in the past few days.   
As the day dragged on, close to late afternoon, behind us dark clouds were reaching us fast. The wind had grown considerably colder and the wind was strong, almost causing me to tumble.   
“Nate!” I called over the roaring wind, “Nate we should find a cave!”   
“No! We will make it!” He replied back, his wings had a thin layer of ice, as well as mine.   
I tried to stay as close behind him, but we were flying against the wind and he was much stronger.   
Snow slashed at my bare cheeks, the clouds eating up any last rays of the sun.   
Azriel had warned us.   
And I was an idiot to ignore him.   
“Nate! Wait for me!” I cried out, but he didn’t hear me. He just kept going, fighting against nature.   
My entire body ached, the strain on my back was making it harder for me to stay steady and I was falling back. Fast.   
It was nothing but dark grey and blur of snow around me, Nate was no longer visible.   
I screamed out again, but it was no use.   
A strong gust knocked me back, losing all sense of direction and control.  
Then I was falling.   
Nothing seemed to work, my wings were locked up and pain shot down my spine. Snow started to rise at the corner of my eye until I landed hard on the side of the mountain.   
I was thankful that it was a thick layer of snow, it cushioned my fall and I rolled to a stop.   
I took a moment to gather myself before sitting up and looking around. The wind here lessened, but the snow still fell heavily.   
The slope wasn’t steep, it was a gentle decline and if I remembered correctly, it meant I was at the foot of the mountain.   
In a valley, which meant there could possibly be a cave to settle in while the storm blew over.   
My legs shook as I stood and moved down the slope, but being extra careful if there was a crevasse in the knee-deep snow.   
All I could think was if Nate was okay, and that he got to safety. I hoped he would come look for me soon.   
But fretting over him could cost my life, I could feel the iciness creep under the leathers. Any longer out here I’d become a frozen corpse.   
Each step caused a horrible pain in my spine; the fall caused my body to twist this and that way. And since I was so cold, I could’ve landed harder than expected.   
Head down, eyes up and scanning the short distance ahead, I saw a glimmer in the snow flurry.   
I paused, and saw it again, a glow like a torch or some sort.   
Torch meant fire.   
And if there was fire, there were people.   
I tried to think of any other ideas, but neither came. Just death.   
I touched my hip where my dagger was strapped and trudged forward. If I did not get some warmth in the next few minutes, my body was going to start to shut down.   
The torch was close to the cave entrance, it was quite wide, able to fit a fully grown person.   
Or an Illyrian, for that matter.   
Further down, I could see another illumination, so I slipped in.   
The air grew heavier, and smoky like food was being roasted over the fire. My mouth watered, after hours of flying and munching on some dried beef the smell was almost intoxicating.   
But I was still weary as I shimmed along the rocky wall. I paused at a corner, listening to the faint crackling of a fire and the occasional drip of water.   
My shadows curled around my shoulders, picking up these subtle sounds.   
But no whisper of voices or a heartbeat.   
I peeked around the corner to find a small camp in the natural carved cave, a fire burned in the middle, surrounded by four bedrolls.   
I looked back the way I came from, the storm was worse.   
Maybe whoever was here got lost in the storm, maybe.   
I went in, savoring the warmth that greeted me and saw a small rabbit being roasted over the fire.   
Looking around one more time, I crouched beside the fire and took the rabbit off the fire and started to eat it.   
The taste was wonderful; my hunger spiked and I engulfed the entire rabbit. I licked my fingers clean afterward, standing up satisfied.   
“Ah, look at this boys. We got us a little scavenger.” A males voice came from behind me.   
I spun as three Illyrians stood at the entrance, they wore the standard leathers, thicker than usual and looked as if they had just gone through the storm.   
The pair behind the one at the front held a rabbit each, clearly, they had gone hunting.   
The first one was smirking, rough face indicating he was old and been through a lot of battles. His wings were tucked in tight behind him, his siphoned topped hand on the hilt of his dagger at his hip.   
“You know, that was for us.” He said, staying in his spot as his friends moved along the edge of the cave, watching me.   
“Well, there was no one here,” I replied, keeping an eye on the other two. “Plus you got two more to have, one eaten won't kill you.”   
His dark eyes were pinned to mine, he stepped closer, “That’s true.”   
“She seems nice,” The one on my left said, his hair was cut short to his scalp, the Illyrian tattoo covered his head and stretched down his neck to beneath his leathers.   
“She does. It’s rare we find a pretty girl. She looks like a virgin too,” The other said, closer to me.   
I pulled out my dagger and pointed it at him, snarling, “You touch me I’ll cut off your cock.”  
“So terrifying.” The first one chuckled and started to come closer.   
My shadows flickered to life but a strong grip on them caused them to wither. The one on my left laughed.   
“You are untrained, little Shadowsinger. Though your resistance is something,” He tied me up and I thrashed, the third one was now upon me and gripped my arms.   
“Stop fighting, I promise we’ll be gentle.” He said hotly in my ear.   
The other grappled for my legs, his iron grasp made it nearly impossible to kick his face.   
“I want to go first,” The first one grinned, tugging on my leathers and the straps, loosening them.   
“Fuck you!” I kept fighting, pushing against the shadows that held me, willing that dark power to help.   
And it did.   
“What the fuck!” The one that had me in his shadows cried out, struggling now.   
“Hold her! Don’t let this bitch overcome you!” The first yelled but my legs became freed and I kicked the struggling one in the stomach.   
He fell back with a grunt, clutching his stomach.   
My cheek stung as the first one slapped me, a growl ripping from me as my dark power slammed into him, throwing him back.   
But he recovered and came right back to me, gripping my face, “You bitch. You’re gonna pay.” He gripped my leathers and tore it open with one swift movement.   
My chest was exposed; the cold air that managed to come through caused my nipples to stiffen.   
I snapped at him, my legs swinging but he caught them. He was much stronger than the other and stood between them.   
“I hope you die you piece of filth!” I spat.   
He laughed as he started to loosen up his straps below his waist.   
“Let the woman go, or I’ll make sure you suffer the storm naked.” A voice, so much like a commander made the men pause and looked over.   
Another Illyrian, the missing fourth one, stood at the entrance.   
The two let me go, setting me down gently and stepped away from me as he came closer.   
“You are honestly animals,” he continued his dismay of the men, “I’ll see to your Lord you are punished.”   
“He won't care,” One hissed.   
“Oh don’t worry, Jael. I’ll make sure he does.” He smiled coldly, sweetly as if he was promising death.   
Jael, the one who hit me, paled and looked down.   
“And you, Theo, will also suffer the same consequences. Alongside Urho.” He said, looking at the one that was now sitting up and staring wide-eyed at everyone, hazel eyes fearful.   
I wrapped my arms around my chest, gazing up at my savior.   
The Illyrian was breathtaking. He had a full yet scrubby beard that needed a trim. His skin, a mixture of beige and brown was peppered with new and old scars. His strong jaw captured the rough-hewn face, indicating he was fairly old. Thick, mahogany brown hair was pulled back in a half up half down style, curls brushing past his shoulders.   
Though what stood out so starkly against his dark skin were the familiar amber eyes, a little darker with flecks of earthy brown. So much like him…  
“Are you okay?” He asked, his voice lost that commander tone and replaced with a gentleness used on a child who was frightened.   
“Yes.” I said a little to sharply since he winced, “I’m fine.” I said, pulling back the bite and looked at my feet.   
“Here,” he picked up a pack closest to him and pulled out a cloak, handing it to me. “Take this and warm up, I’ll deal with these men.” He said as he guided me to a bedroll, presumably his.   
I sat gingerly, wrapping myself in the cloak. “Thank you,” I said softly, my blood that sung was slowly becoming that gentle flow within me.   
I watched as he turned to the men, all three now stood shoulder to shoulder, looking as if they may piss themselves.   
“You three are to go outside and stand guard.” He growled, “Now!” He added with a yell.   
The trio stiffened and hurried out, grabbing their weapons and filing out of the cave.   
My savior picked up the rabbits before turning back to me and sat beside me with a groan, "Are you okay?" He asked, looking me over.   
"I'm fine. Again, thank you." I gave him a timid smile.   
He nodded, “That storm is brutal.” He said, brushing off the dirt on the animals.   
“How bad is it?” I asked, watching him work.   
“It’s gotten worse. We had to land or else we’d be thrown about.” He prodded the fire back to life, chucking another log on it.   
“I see,” I said softly, my thoughts wondering to Nate. I pray to the gods he got somewhere safe, I thought, frowning.   
“So why a pretty, young lady like you out here alone?” He asked, curious.   
“I uh, I got trapped in the storm. I was with my lover, and we both got caught and I wasn’t strong enough so the wind took me down.” I explained, pulling the cloak tighter around me.   
“You’re not hurt, are you?” He looked at me, he was ready to prepare for a healing session, it looked like.   
“No! No, I’m fine. I landed in the snow, which cushioned my fall. Until I came here, and those fuckers pounced on me." I said.  
“But you have to have a reason for being so far out here? You said you had a lover?” He tilted his head to the side.   
“I did, he is an Illyrian as well,” I said. “I wanted to see his camp.”   
He placed the now lightly seasoned rabbit over the fire, as well as the other one. “The one not too far from here? Over the mountain?”   
“It's that close…?” I blinked, “Damn,” I pouted a little.   
“Who is this… Illyrian? Wait, can I make a guess?” He flashed a grin, liveliness in his eyes.   
It reminded another, wonderful Illyrian long-ago.   
“Um… go ahead.” I managed to pull my leathers back around my chest while we talked, feeling a bit more decent.   
“Hmm…” He gave me a good look, eyes narrowed.   
“Nickolas,” He said, a bit of pride in his voice.   
I snorted, “Hell no. Never him.”   
“So you know him… What about…” He trailed off, thinking really hard, his brows furrowed a little.   
“I didn’t say I knew him, I’ve seen him occasionally.” I mused, pulling the cloak off my shoulders and gathered it in my lap.   
“Nathaniel.” He said, but the pride wasn’t there.   
“Yes. That was a great guess. Why do you even care? It’s not like I know you.” I watched the fire, holding my hands towards it.   
“Well, what if I want to get to know you? I never got your name. I’m Ezekiel by the way, Zeke for short.” He held out his hand.   
“I’m Viviana, nice to meet you, Zeke. Call me Viv, if you want.” I gripped his hand, it was a steady shake.   
But he had stopped and stared at me. “What?”   
“Hm?” I met his wide gaze.   
“Viviana…? Viviana Lucetta?” He asked, a slight tremor in his voice.   
“Yes, that’s me.” I grew confused, how did this man know who I was?   
“Oh Mother,” He looked as if he may cry, “It’s really you- It is. You look so much like her.” He said, moving to a kneeling position.   
I leaned back, “I-I’m sorry, I’ve got no idea what you are-”   
“Claudia. You look so much like Claudia.” He said.   
Hearing my mothers name from him caused a jolt to shoot through me, “How do you know my mother? Are you some stalker?”   
“N-No. No. Oh, gods, I don’t know how to say this but-” He was stuttering.   
“Just say it, please,” I squeezed his arm, telling him it was alright, yet my heart thundered hard.   
“Kaius- Kaius is my father. So that makes me…” He paused, watching for my reaction.   
My eyes grew wide, wonder and awe replaced the fear. “My brother-”   
“Stepbrother, actually.” He rubbed the back of his head, a little awkward now.   
“My brother,” I said, my voice barely a whisper as I took in the male.   
Amber eyes and dark hair.   
Father had amber eyes.   
“You look like him. The eyes, especially.” I said, reaching out and touching his cheek.   
He opened his mouth to say something before a howl could be heard outside. The men stationed outside screamed I could hear the growls of the animal that was attacking.   
Jael ran in but he cried out as he was knocked down, “No! Please! Help-” He was dragged back out, his scream silenced by the sound of a sickening crack.   
“Stay behind me,” Ezekiel had stood, the siphons on the back of his hands glowed a brilliant gold.   
“What is…” My words never came as a massive grey wolf appeared. Blood coated its coat, but the wolf was not a normal creature.   
It’s stench made it clear, like a carcass under the sun for too long. It was unhealthily thin, rips and tears exposed the emptiness. The wolf’s eye sockets were empty, tongue rolling out between broken, bloody teeth.   
“I want you to run out of here and fly off,” Zeke said, the gold light wrapping around his hands to create twin swords.   
“I’m not leaving family behind,” I said, pulling out my dagger.   
He looked at me, “You need to warn the camp, tell them the wolves are back.” He pleaded with me.   
Then the wolf pounced.   
Zeke tumbled back with the creature, the swords holding it back away from his face, “Run now! _Run!_ ” He bellowed.   
I watched as he struggled with the wolf, I was torn. Was I to leave him here and let him die? Or stay and fight?   
_Fight? How will you fight? You have no idea how to face on someone, let alone, a wolf,_ A voice told me.   
Tears ran down my cheeks as I ran to the entrance of the cave, looking back. Zeke looked relieved, and then I ran for my life.   
I had to jump over the brutally torn bodies of the three Illyrians, gagging at the sight of it.   
The storm had calmed to a snow flurry, but the snow was thick and somewhat frozen so it made it more difficult to run through. I had to find higher ground to be able to take off, my wings flapping hysterically to try and get me off the ground. But each beat was like a knife digging into my spine.   
The land must’ve been worse than I thought.   
The snow became thinner and I was running back to where I had slid down the mountain, spotting a ledge I could easily climb up to.   
At the corner of my eye, I saw a dark shadow moving fast towards me.   
It was another wolf.   
Whatever instinct in me came alive and I was running for dear life. Why were the dead things coming after me?   
I was close to the ledge, and I knew if I did not get up on the first go, I would find myself between the jaws of the wolf.   
Two long strides, I scaled the ice-coated rock, digging my nails into the surface and pulling myself up.   
But a rock came loose and I found myself falling back down, grunting with the impact.   
_Oh, gods no,_ I thought, rolling to my side to see the wolf not too far from me, its black fur so stark against the white background.   
The corpse wolf growled as if it was triumphant to have cornered me. I took out my dagger, holding it out before me.   
Yet, the wolf did not approach me any closer, it stayed a few feet back.   
Waiting.   
“What do you want?” I asked, my hand shaking since I had not placed my gloves back on.   
The wolf cocked its head, waiting still.   
_Maybe the attracting the dead was true,_ I thought, slowly standing up on my feet.   
Noting the wolf did not make another move I lowered my arm, glancing back at the cave.   
Ezekiel had not made an appearance.   
I had to go back, my remaining family…   
The wolfs ears twitched, pulling back before it let out a snarl.   
Fuck, I thought as the wolf started to come close once again.   
“Stop!” I cried out, the dagger brought back up.   
The wolf paused.   
I was shaking with apprehension; I looked back at the cave, begging the gods for my brother to make an appearance.   
And that’s where I made the mistake.   
The wolf jumped and I was knocked back, bringing my arms up to protect my face. Its claws tore into my abdomen, its teeth sinking into my arms.   
I let out a painful cry and brought up my legs, I kicked as hard as I could.   
The wolf was stunned, it gave me the chance to get back on my feet and slash across its face.   
Then I was running again, flapping my wings as hard as I could.   
I had to go.   
I had to go.   
I had to go.   
My wings finally lifted me up, carrying me higher and higher into the frigid air.   
The wolf below bellowed a howl, I glanced down to see it running back to the cave. I looked away, tears stinging my eyes as I crested the small mountain.   
It wasn’t long before I came to Nate’s camp, it was an utter chaos as Illyrians ran too and thro, busy with repairing torn down tents and injured men and women.   
As I was about to land, Nate was pushing through the crowd, looking frantic as ever.   
I stumbled and fell into his arms, sobbing into his chest.   
“Silvy! Oh, gods, oh gods, I thought- I thought I had lost you!” He held me tight.   
But I didn’t let this reunion get to me, “You need to save my brother.” I pulled back, gazing up at him.   
“What? Silvy-”   
“You need to save him! Now! Please!” I gripped his arms, “We were attacked by some wolves, just over the mountain there,” I pointed the way I came. “Please, Nate!”   
He looked down, seeing my state, “Okay, okay. I'll go. Let me first take you to a tent I got for you.” He picked me up and carried me through the craziness.   
The camp had seen better days, the storm had almost flattened the place but the Illyrians were quick working of their home.   
Nate came to a section that had been cleared of debris and pushed open the flaps of a large tent.   
Inside was plainly decorated but still homely, the thick carpet was laid across the floor, a fur covered bed in the middle and off to the side behind a screen was a wooden bathtub with steaming water.   
He set me on the bed, “I'll call for a healer and then go and find… your brother. Okay?” He cupped my face, making me look at him.   
“Go now, please.” I pushed him back, “Please.” I started to cry again, my whole body numb.   
He nodded, “I love you.” He said and was gone.   
Not too long after, a woman came in. She looked much younger than I, a soft round face that represented gentleness. Her skin like dark earth and straight black hair brushing her shoulders. She had a slim yet matured body, generous curves graced her. Her full lips were parted, dark eyes lined with thick lashes examined me.   
She didn’t say anything as she came closer, setting her basket on the table beside the bed, she gestured for me to stand and I did.   
The woman began to undress me, I helped as much as I could but every movement felt like I was being weighed down.   
Now naked, she took me beside the bathtub and I was made to sit on a stool. She grabbed a bucket and gathered the water and added oils to it.   
“What is your name?” I asked her, trying to settle my panicked state.   
“Ana,” She said, starting to clean the open wounds on my arms.   
“That’s a nice name,” I said, hissing softly.   
“Sorry,” Ana said as she now applied some healing salve before bandaging my arms up. “What were these from?”   
“I was attacked by a wolf,” I said, leaving out the part that it was dead.   
“You are lucky these are not deep, they will heal by tomorrow.” She said, doing the same for my stomach wound.   
“I guess so, I held it back.” I murmured.   
She then cleaned the rest of my body, making me lean over the edge of the tub so she could do my hair.   
Once done, I was dried up and made to dress in thick leather pants, a shirt and leathers on top to at least keep me warm.   
“What had happened here?” I asked after some time, watching Ana tie up the lace on my boots.   
“The storm came out of nowhere. We had expected it, but not this strong. It injured a lot of the men here. And the women.” She said, standing up and brushing her hands on the brown dress she wore. "Some reported wolves but... It was hard to determine in the chaos. There wasn't any evidence of the creatures."   
“No deaths?” I gulped, remembering Zeke's warning about the wolves returning.   
“Only two Illyrians. Both were impaled by pieces of wood.” She said, almost sounding happy about it.   
I chewed on my bottom lip, “How… How are the women and children treated here?” I asked in a soft voice.   
Ana took a little longer to reply, her voice shaky and scared.   
"It's okay," I whispered, holding her hand, "I need to know, my reason being here is to understand how they are being used."  
She looked up, grateful for my presence, “We are treated badly. Beaten if we refuse a man, we sleep in dirty cots beneath shacks made of whatever we can find. We can barely look after the children properly since we don’t get adequate food.”   
Anger swirled around me, Nate had lied to me. He said- “And have you made contact with the commander? Or the Lord of this camp?”   
“No. We can’t. We can’t even leave our area so we can’t send a letter.” Ana was twisting the cloth in her hands.   
I looked at the girl, poor thing. She was barely into her womanhood and she had to be taken advantage of these savages.   
“I will speak to High Lord Rhysand about this. I will make sure he comes here and talks to the bastards.” I growled.   
“N-No! You can’t! They will hurt us!” She begged, gripping my arms.   
“They won’t. Rhys will protect you.” I placed a hand over hers, “Stay in this tent. Rest up okay? I need to go find my brother who was hurt.”   
“I-I'm not allowed-” She started but I held up a hand.   
“I allow it. If someone wants to come in, hide under the bed if you wish.” I smiled softly, then hugged her.   
Ana hesitated but wrapped her arms around me, “Let me come with you instead. I can show you where we take the injured.”   
I was going to refuse but nodded. I had no idea where to even look, I hadn’t been here before.  
“Alright. Sure.” I pulled away and grabbed a thick cloak from the trunk near the bed as Ana slung her own over her shoulders.   
Together we left my tent, greeted by cold air as the fresh snow was falling.   
The camp was still buzzing but it wasn’t a chaotic mess, the ruined tents cleaned up and neatly gathered in small piles.   
Illyrians gathered around fires under shelters, laughing and drinking.   
I stared at each individual, now only seeing sick men who like to play with women and use them for breeding.   
I was going to make sure Nate knew how I felt about his filthy lie.   
Walking by a group of Illyrian’s, one turned around and gave my ass a slap.   
I yelped and turned to him, glaring.   
“Hey baby, wanna come and sit in my lap? You’ve got a fine ass.” He slurred, reaching out to grab my arm.   
I whacked it away, “Piss off,” I stepped away, turning on my heel.   
“Naw, c’mon,” he was on his feet, his stride long as he wrapped his arms around me and held me tight.   
“Fuck off!” I hissed, thrashing but he was like a wall of rock, unmoving and unbreakable.   
Ana was white-faced and was backing up, but his comrades had reached her. Touching her but she made no move to fight back.   
“Take me, not her,” I said, trying to grapple with my dagger at my hip.   
“Why should we let her go?” He said hotly against my ear, “It's always fun with more company.”   
I held back a shudder as his mouth pressed against my neck, “Please,” I whispered, his hand covered my mouth.   
“Shh, I promise I’ll go gentle,” He murmured, pulling me back to where he was seated before.   
Ana was crying softly as she was taken into the tent by the two Illyrians.   
“You’re a sick bastard.” I cursed, struggling again.   
“Sure, whatever you say. Once I’ll make you scream, you’ll think of me the best fucker ever.” He held my arms behind me, his hand moving along my wing.   
I arched my back, hating the pleasure that sparked in my body.   
A moan escaped me, my eyes half closed but I looked around to find anything to hit him.   
The Illyrian sat down, his hands working my wings.   
There.   
I spotted a metal pan beside the wooden box.   
“You are so good.” I purred, licking my lips. “You said you liked my ass?” I ground my hips against his.   
He grunted, “I did.”   
“Want to get a better look at it?” I gulped, hoping he would let go of my wrists.   
“Now you are willing? What changed your mind?” He asked, his hand on my wing moved down my side, opening my legs wider.   
Ana was crying within the tent, a mixture of painful moans and sobs.   
I needed to be faster.   
“My lover isn’t satisfying me enough,” I tilted my head to the side as he kissed down to my shoulder. “I want you to satisfy me. I want you to show him how good you were to me.”   
“What a shame. He’s missing out on a beauty like you.” He turned me so I was bent over his knee. I was closer to the pan.   
I moaned to show I was ‘enjoying’ his touch just as I reached out to grab the pan.   
“Hey! Let her go!” Ezekiel's voice was bliss to my ears as I moved and hit the Illyrian hard on the head with the metal piece. The sound rang in my ears.   
He fell over like a sack of potatoes just as Ezekiel came running up to me.   
“Are you okay?” he asked bandaged hands on my shoulders.   
“Yes, I am.” I heard Ana yelp, “Oh gods Ana!” I moved to the tent, throwing open the flaps.   
Ezekiel came in after me and growled at the two men on top of Ana. He was upon them and threw them off instantly, Ana crawling to me.   
I came to her and helped her to her feet and wrapped my cloak around her, her entire body was shaking from the fear.   
“Shh, it’s going to be okay,” I whispered, stroking her hair.   
Ezekiel turned to me, having beaten up the two Illyrians until they were unconscious heaps on the ground.   
“I'm so sorry-” He was cut off when another Illyrian stormed in, his face like a raging storm.   
“Lord Ezekiel, what the hell is this?” He snarled.   
The man with midnight black hair looked as if the wind had carved him, rough, cruel features with steel eyes that bore into mine and Ana.   
“Your men, _Lord Davian_ , attacked these two girls. I did my job by saving them.” Ezekiel said, squaring up to the male.   
“They’re just women, why do you give a single shit about them?” Lord Davian said with a disgusted snort.   
“They are not ‘just women’, they have feelings. Control your men, or I will speak to High Lord Rhysand.” Ezekiel threatened.   
With that, my brother guided Ana and me out of the tent.   
The male I hit was being taken away, the Illyrians giving me dirty stares. I just gave them one back.   
“Let's go back to my tent. I want you both near me for the night.” He said, keeping us close to his side.   
I didn’t say another thing as he took us to a much larger tent. Inside was finely decorated and seemed more homely. There was a set of seats gathered around a table, and a large bed occupied the back with a curtain to pull across.   
“Take her there,” Ezekiel said, gesturing to the bed.   
I walked over and pulled back the sheets and helped the frightened girl in, tucking her gently, “You are safe now, no one will hurt you.” I pushed back her hair and kissed her head.   
“Th-Thank you,” She whispered, gripping my hand, “Thank you.”   
I smiled, “Women stick together. No one gets left behind.”   
Ana was dozing off already, I pulled the curtains shut to give her privacy and let out a soft sigh.   
“Hey,” Ezekiel came up and placed a hand on my shoulder, “Sit down, I’ll prepare some soup.” He said and walked me to the chair.   
Cushioned it was, but it was uncomfortable. Better than nothing.   
I pulled a blanket over my lap, resting my head back and closing my eyes. I sought out for the bond with Lucien, letting my shadowed hand tenderly touch the low light that tied us together.   
_Incomplete_ , it seemed to whisper, _Incomplete_.   
I followed the light to him, wondering how he was-   
His walls shot up and I was once again blocked. I frowned and placed my hands on the wall of fire, it didn’t burn me but it seemed to struggle with my touch.   
“ _I just want to know if you are okay,_ ” I asked, leaning my head against his wall.   
The fire shifted and it felt like his arms were wrapped around me, something I really needed at the moment.   
“ _I’m okay._ ” His voice, almost ethereal, elated me.   
His next words took some time, but he said them, “ _I miss you. Are you okay?_ ”   
I kept my eyes shut tightly, “ _I-I’m fine. I miss you, too._ ”   
“ _Vi, I have to go. Be safe all right? Send word through the bond when you return._ ” There was a tinge of pain in his voice, I wasn’t sure what it was but I didn’t want to let him go so soon yet.   
“ _Please_ ,” He was the first to pull away, his hands brushing down my bare arms.   
“ _Be safe,_ ” I muttered, stepped away from that wall of fire.   
Opening my eyes, I turned to see Ezekiel making his way to me with a bowl of steaming soup.   
I took it, and then he sat on the closest chair near me, cradling his own bowl.   
We ate in total silence, lost in our own thoughts.   
Ezekiel looked bad, his skin awfully pale, and the shirt he wore I could see a bandage wrapped around his chest and over his right shoulder.   
“The wounds don’t actually look bad. The bandages seem like I had tumbled with one of the Winter Court’s bears.” He said, noting my gaze.   
I let out a soft laugh, “But what if you did tumble with the bears?” I mused.   
“I actually did once. I regretted my choice the minute it began. Kallias gave his men and me a good talk.” He smiled at the memory, “It was funny, trust me.” He added, seeing my horrified expression.   
I set the bowl on the table and pulled my legs underneath me, “At least you are alive and well.” I held his gaze, but I had to look away.   
It was too painful, remembering how lifeless those eyes stared at me. I could still feel the sticky blood on my legs, my little night dress mother had made me.   
“Viviana,” Ezekiel reached out to take my hand, “This may be not the right time to ask but…” He trailed off, uncertain.   
“What is it?” I stared at the space between his brows.   
He took in a deep breath as if he had been mulling over whatever it was for years, “Are they alive?”   
I had to really consider my words. Was I to tell him the truth or lie?   
“Please, Viv, just tell me. I need to know.” He said softly, eyes lined with silver.   
The night came racing back, the sound of the wind and the heavy drops of rain, the smell of death in the air.   
“They’re dead,” I wasn’t sure if I had said the words.   
It had been a very long time since I had admitted them again. The last time was to Nate and my friends, including Az, Rhys and Feyre. But that was over a century ago.   
Ezekiel could only nod, looking away from me as he ran a hand over his face, “I had a hunch they were… gone. I came back to the house, to see… The whole place was overgrown, inside was trashed.” He said. “Do you… Do you remember how…?”   
I ran a hand through my hair, “They didn’t die a natural death.”   
“So murder?” He looked distraught.   
“I don’t know, Zeke. It was a long time ago. I was just a little girl.” I rubbed my forehead, “I still remember the night so clearly. It still haunts me to this day.”   
“You don’t have to tell me, Viv.” He said.   
I shook my head and got up, curling up beside him and resting my head on his shoulder.   
He was weary but then wrapped his arm around my shoulders, his head resting on mine.   
“There was so much blood, Zeke. So much.” I whispered, staring at the canvas wall of the tent, “Papa- Papa had his wings… they were…” I inhaled, “Mama… Someone- Something had skinned her- staked her to the wall.”   
He squeezed my shoulder, “I’ll find that fucker who did this.”   
“Its been too long, Zeke.” I looked up at him, tears streaked down his face.   
“We’ll go to the house-”   
I stopped him, “The house has been cleaned and restored since then. You won’t be able to pick up anything. I’m sorry.” I whispered, reaching up and touching his cheek.   
“Don’t be sorry.” He kissed my head, “Why don’t you sleep, yeah? I’ll fix you the most amazing breakfast tomorrow.” He said with a smile.   
“You mean burnt toast and overcooked eggs?” I asked, yawning.   
“My cooking is the best. Wasn’t the soup great?” His smile grew.   
“Uhhhh,” I let the silence drag on.   
“Aw, c’mon… Was it that bad?” He puckered his bottom lip and raised a brow.   
“It was fantastic, don’t get upset.” We laughed quietly.   
He rubbed my arm, “I’m glad I found you.” He said, relieved and content.   
“I can say the same. Even if you are my stepbrother… You are family. And I’m not alone anymore.” I looked up again, feeling my tears spring up.   
“I won’t let you out of my sight anymore. I want to know my little sister, know her likes, dislikes, things to do-” He paused. “Sorry. I got really excited there.”   
I patted his chest, “That’s okay. I want the same thing.”   
“Oh good. That’s good. We can start tomorrow when we train.” He said nodding.   
“Training?” I blinked.   
“Yes. You can’t always depend on a pan to save you. You got lucky.” He said.   
He was set on his word.   
“Zeke, I-”   
“Nope. Don’t try and get out of this. I want to see what you got.” He patted my head.   
I pouted, “So mean.” I pulled the blanket higher, closing my eyes.   
“Maybe. Get some rest, I’ll see you in the morning.” He said.   
I only nodded, yawning once again before I fell asleep, a smile stayed on my face. 

**Author's Note:**

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